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Meditations on Our Daily Life As Catholic Christians

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Father Allan S. Fenix has been a Diocesan priest and pastor of Immaculate Conception Parish, Camarines Sur, Philippines. He is currently assigned to Hsinchu, Taiwan, and is in study to be a missionary there. Father Allan is an avid shortwave radio enthusiast and a greatly cherished friend of Radio New Jerusalem. It is our honor and privilege to bring you his thoughts and observations on life and our daily walk with Jesus Christ.

Meditations and Reflections of Father Fenix

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God moves. He moves in us. As the creator -- the unmoved mover, as St. Thomas Aquinas succinctly coined it -- he is the constant initiator. All things bear his signature. It is for this reason, therefore, that everything is good. By the mere fact of its existence, something is good because God purposefully made it to be so. We, his creatures, are merely the respondents to his beauty and love. No one amongst us is pressured to do so. But, we are left with no other choice but to say our, "YES LORD!" We have nowhere to run to. We are surrounded. We are cornered by his love. We drown it.

Excerpted from "Thanks Be to God!" by Father Allan S. Fenix

The Meditations and Reflections of Father Allan S. Fenix

In Demand
Data	12 Stars
One on One	Divine Technology
Eve of the End	Playing Time
The Love Jeepney	Sometime, Someday
Come One! Come All!	Acknowledge and Accept
Drop Out	One, Two, Three
Back Tote	Near and Close
Switch On and Off	Float
Heaven Haven	Weed Seed
Light and Easy	Bite and Swallow
Breaking the Ice	Sputtering On
Gigabyte Heaven	Spiritual Commando
Home Run	Stay with Us
Life in His Name	If...
Believe and Worship	Life Changing Mountains
Ionosphere	Take Responsibility
Energy Providers	The Leak
Soft Power	Next Available Flight
24/7 Power Service	Took Mary Home as His Wife
The One Thing in Mind	Live to Tell the Tale
Calendar	More From God
Be the Judge	Speedy Delivery
Bigger. Better. Permanent.	That Old Self
Dog-Eared Bible	Seats, Bleachers, Pews
Prepare for the Unexpected	Lifetime Membership
Neighbors	Faith and Luggages
One Size Fits All	A Breath of New Life
Three for the Road	Meteor Showers
This Way to Heaven, Please	Wordkeeper
In God's Good Hands	Hands and Feet
Lord, Open My Lips	Jesus, Our Insurance
A Day in Our Life	Waiting
Wonderful Blessings	The Tree of Our Faith
Outriggers	The Confessional
God and Numbers	Jesus
Holiness	Lock Stock and Barrel
Eyes, Ears, Mouths	Don't Throw in the Towel
Banns	Health Care 101
A Table Rememberance	The Spanish Connection
Trip to Heaven	Witnesses
Happy Death Day	Substantial Works
Home Coming	Come One, Come All
Chasing the Dragon	Altar Voice
Tempus Fugit	A Bag of Cement and a Piece of Steel Bar
Human and Divine	A Good Act a Day
Our Church, Our Family	What's In a Name?
Faith Incorporated	Broken and Given
The Interview	De Fide
HEAVEN, Anyone	Jesus and Water
Sacerdos	Baptismorum
Emmanuel	Family Tree
Touch Down	Stories
Home to the Father	Oremus (Let Us Pray)
Education for Life	Thanks Be to God!
Gaudium Sacerdotale: Joy in the Priesthood	Migrants
Public Opinion	Jesus was Found Alone
Once is Enough, Twice is too Much	No Excess Baggage, Please
List Keepers	365
Shortwave	Do Whatever He Tells You
Power	An Arm and a Leg
Giving Is Life	Nino (Spanish word for small child)
"Do This in Rememberance of Me"	Welcome,We're Opened! Sorry,We're Closed
Service Provider	Ad Usum Privatum
True or False?	Blessings
Remain Seated	Deus Amat
Hands and Side	Embracing Death
No Pain, No Gain	Pick One
Heavenly Bodies	Fast Break
Prayer and Wealth	Amityville
Fishing Rods	What Have You Been Pondering Lately?
First Things, First!	Food for the Journey
Jesus, Our Friend	Repent and Believe in the Gospel!
Work-Out	Memories
Sweet Temptation	My Flag! My Country!
Always in Faith and Hope	Crucified In and With Christ

In Demand

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

Let me share with you my reflections on some scriptural passages that I found interesting while reading it.

     "..... Everyone is looking for you!" Mark 1: 37

     When the semester or schoolyear is about to come to an end, students, in droves, would usually run after their professors, teachers or to the registrar office to have their signatures affixed on their clearances signifying, financially or as per course requirements, they have already complied with all of it.

     As a priest, usually after our Sunday masses, school-age children with their parents would approach requesting for our signatures on their Sunday mass attendance notebooks which will be shown later to their religion class teachers clearly indicating that they have, as a requirement, attended the Sunday mass.

     I also knew of some public construction contractors who would go to offices of big politicians beseeching their all-important signatures, sometimes even with the grease money worth a substantial amount on the side, the so-called S.O.P.- Standard Operational Procedure, for their approved public work projects. With these precious signatures, funds worth millions can already be released.

     "The whole town gathered at the door." Mark 1: 33

     Professionals and service providers like lawyers, engineers, doctors ... beauticians, mechanics, cooks ... who have a good practice are easy to spot. Their offices, firms, clinics ... saloons, shops, restaurants ... are always on a fullhouse with clients seeking advice for their cases, house constructions, medical problems, needed personal services.

     "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1: 35

     I personally believe in the 18th century proverb which says; " Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise." Jesus Christ is a morning person. A good habit worth imitating for many of us. How too pathetic it is to see a person, though not sick, in bed lying idlly by all throughout the day. Not knowing that there are just a thousands and one things that can be accomplish in just a single day.

      In the world now, there is the principle; "Innovate or Die". As persons raring to be of full service to others, we always have to update our knowledge and skills or else we would see our "businesses" going downhill and bankrupt, in time. We must always be on our toes. Ready and fighting. We could not afford to be contented and satisfied resting on our laurels that will one day wither.

     Times are changing. We are not getting any younger. Our skills and the things that we knew are getting outdated. Our hands and bodies will shake. We will be forgetful of things. Start dropping things. People will no longer go after us. They will go to people who are of the newer generations with the latest set of skills, knowledge and techniques. One day, we will get frail and sick, perhaps, of Alzheimers, dementia, Parkinson's. We will be put on the side, retired.

     If today, we have a good practice, business, ministry .... that we are so in-demand ... people, from all walks of life, come looking for us, we don't need to act out our superstar or messianic complex . Literally, everything will fade and only God will remain UP when the dust subsides.

     "Let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- So I can preach there also. That is why I have come." Mark 1: 38

     We must not forget to share. We cannot afford to be selfish. It is in sharing by which we will also be enrich in all ways. Not to be generous is a mortal sin in living our lives. Life is meant to be broken, shared and given away. Remember the scripture passage; "...Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." John 12: 24

Data

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     Nowadays, with our postal system slowly going in the red, we communicate a lot electronically. Data is transmitted and exchanged invisibly - wirelessly. It is now an acquired habit that for many might be so cheap but, of course, not for some. With this modern form of communication in our hands, added to our usual monthly utility expenses are the phone cards - the load or the internet subscription fees. For a period of one year, mentally calculating it, how much do you spend monthly for your load or internet subscription?

     In time, these related expenses could amount to something. It could weigh us down more than the benefits that we could get out of using it. How many loaves of bread, needed pairs of shoes or clothes could have been bought out of our loads or internet subscription expenses?

     With its great impact in our lives, we have to use our modern technology wisely. We could have the power in our hands. Online, there are a lot of self-proclaimed experts, gurus, consultants.... authorities. Talk might be cheap. However, it can make or unmake us. We might gather unwanted heat on us. We might be senselessly spreading ourselves. Always remember the principle; "What you sow is what you reap." In a day or a week, what kind of words do we send or receive from others? From all of it, how many of them are related to our work, studies, vocation....? Instead of doing some other things that are good or beneficial to the community, we might already be bordering on narcissism by wasting much of our time on air and online with virtual persons. Get out and be with real people! Be with the real "authorities"!

     Keep your communication just for a minute or two. Only talk about "business". As a priest, I remember well what a priest, one day, shared to me regarding giving homilies. He said that the first five minutes is God's. The second five minutes is yours. And, the next five minutes is already of the devil. The devil is, of course, wise and could be using these seemingly good things against us to similarly destroy us. Be watchful and vigilant. The devil could be using us to advance its worldwide evil domination.

     Reflect on this and do something wise about it.

12 Stars

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     Many of us are not good in mathematics. However, we love to count. In our country, we have this habit whereby as soon as the month of September arrives, we start to make a countdown of the days running up to December 25, Christmas, a holiday and holy day, the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the happiest day of the year. And soon, after that, we again go on counting down the hours and the seconds up until the clock struck at exactly twelve o'clock midnight of December 31 to welcome another new year into our lives.

     Now that we are on the, ever virgin, first day of the year 2012, let us start counting down again. The year 2012, whether knowingly or unknowingly, is a very auspicious time for all Catholics who believe in the Blessed Virgin Mary. For she, herself, on her crown is surrounded by 12 stars. No one has 12 stars but her. Even in the military, the highest ranking general has only 5 stars, who is already the president of the country.

     2012? 12 stars? For many, who don't profess a belief in her, this might just be a wild consequence or a number. However, with our faith in her Son, Jesus Christ, let us see what golden gifts she has in store for us, her most beloved children, in the next coming 12 months in our lives, as a church.

     While waiting, let us make it more very exciting and colorful by assigning one decade of her rosary for each three weeks, representing the Blessed Trinity- the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit- of the year. There are 20 decades from the Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious and the Light mysteries. So, let us not think twice and delay it more. If we start now meditating on the Annunciation mystery and so on for the next three weeks..., by the time we reach the last decade of the Light mystery, which is "His institution of the Eucharist, as the sacramental expression of the Paschal mystery", it will already be December 2, the first Sunday of Advent. We, then, again wait with much expectation for the coming of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

     What a very terrific Catholic annual plan we have right before us. Believe and pray to the Blessed Trinity. And, at the same time, have a devotion to the Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary by praying and meditating on her rosary. BRAVO!!! Have a fantastic 2012!
of us have

One on One

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     All of us have our own individual favorites. Favorite food... Favorite show... Favorite actor or actress... Favorite book... On the spiritual level, among the seven sacraments, which ones are you most familiar with? Baptism? Cofirmation? Holy Eucharist? Reconciliation? Matrimony? Holy Orders? Anointing of the sick and dying?

     This time, as your priest, I would like to talk with you more about the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

     Most of us, since before we receive our first holy communion, our catechists and religion teachers have already taught us many things about it, know all of the steps on how to have a good confession. However, having been a priest for sometime now, I would like to share with you some friendly reminders which will not only be enriching for you but also for me, as your confessor.

     Firstly, be mindful of others. There are still other penitents waiting in line. In the confessional, please be short, concise and precise. Don't beat about around the bush making lots of justification for every sin committed. I, as your confessor, would merely like to get the hard facts, the substance - the sins, thats all. Let us leave the rest to the Heavenly God who is the sacrament master.

     Secondly, story telling is not a confessional material. I, as a confessor, have enough sinful stories of my own. I don't need any additional nor a contributor to tell me more. The confessional box is not a place to gossip. Maybe, there are specially dedicated websites whereby you may go and meet up with like minded people. But, please, not in the confessional box. It is the wrong forum. This is a warning that you, as a penitent, in unknowingly doing it, might be incurring additional sins other than those you have on your list.

     Thirdly, together with the sincere remorse for the sins committed, be yourself. Inside the confessional, imagine yourself just you alone, face to face with a mirror. Honestly, what do you want to tell yourself. Don't hide anything anymore. Take me, as your confessor, on the other side of the window, as a deaf person.

    I have been hearing confessions for sometime now and I can say that most of them are sincere and good ones. Many even edified me to go for my own good confession. I must also accept that there are many parishioners who are good edifiers for us, priests.

     "... confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." (James 5:16) We really need to love the sacraments particularly the Sacrament of Reconciliation whereby we directly receive the mercy and forgiveness of our sins from God. However, on a last note, I must admit that sometimes my life, as a priest, had been too relax and comfortable. All because there are stretches of days... weeks... months... when no one comes for the sacrament.

     We love to have our fire and medical services always at hand and handy. However, we don't want to see them always on the go working. For it means lives and properties might be in danger somewhere. This attitude must not happen to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

     Put us, your priests, to work. Go to confession. Don't be so greedy that, we came to a point, whereby we just keep our own sins to ourselves. We do not want to share it with a priest through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Sin is not a good account. It has to be withdrawn and remitted somewhere it belong to. It belongs to the confessional. It is its proper repository. Go to confession now!!!

     Don't also forget to say your thank you. In our parish, the sweetest words that I hear in the confessional box from our penitents are; "Thank you, God and thank you, Father!" Hearing these words, I am totally affirmed in my mission as a priest.

Divine Technology

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

Canticle of the Three Youths

    Bless the Lord, all you works of the Lord;
        Praise and exalt him above all forever.
    Angels of the Lord, bless the Lord;
        You heavens, bless the Lord;
    All you waters above the heavens, bless the Lord.
        All you hosts of the Lord; bless the Lord.
    Sun and moon, bless the Lord;
        Stars of heaven, bless the Lord.
    Every shower and dew, bless the Lord;
        All you winds, bless the Lord.
    Fire and heat, bless the Lord;
        Cold and chill, bless the Lord.
    Dew and rain, bless the Lord;
        Frost and cold, bless the Lord.
    Ice and snow, bless the Lord;
        Nights and days, bless the Lord.
    Light and darkness bless the Lord;
        Lightning and clouds, bless the Lord.
    Let the earth bless the Lord;
        Praise and exalt him above all forever.

         These are interesting times. I knew a person who once told me that how he wished that the internet technology came much earlier in his life. Since he is into homebrewing transceiver radios, by then, he will have a convenient means to validate many of his theories and share of his projects to others. Back then, he had to do a lot of trials and errors... wild reckonings.

         I, myself, merely using a community-owned unit, am very thankful for the internet technology. Lately, I found a site whereby I was encouraged to go back to what I have grown up with - the Divine Office.

         As seminarians, for several years, day in and day out, there were lots and lots of prayers that we got so used and familiar with it. We memorized all of it by rote. As a priest, with the Office of Readings, as an addition, it just got much longer. In the ministry, without the presence of a community, it came to a point that I just got bored and stopped praying it altogether. My 4 volume Liturgy of the Hours was put on the shelves, a display, until I rediscovered the beauty of it through the site. The site offers the complete prayer requirements of each single day from the Invitatory, Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, Daytime Prayer, Evening Prayer and Night Prayer. With the hard copy of the Liturgy of the Hours in my hands, I listen, as a virtual community pray together with me.

         In the same way, for a period of several months, I was also able to reread the whole Code of Canon Law. From then on, I promised myself to make it as my resolution to go back to all, if not most, of my philosophy and theology books via the internet, which in the past, I somewhat found boring and unappealing. "Just for the grades!"

         These are really interesting times. Now, I have a renewed vigor in my ministry. It's nice to be going back to the things we have grown up with. I do believe that I can be a better priest if I relearn all of the things that our formators have given us while we were still in the formation.

         I also have a friend who is maintaining a site, I call it a "one stop shop" site , whereby , in it, contains all of the available church and world news breaking out all over the world. It is the   www.radionewjerusalem.com. For me, personally, after going over it, I go out armed and ready in my ministry. I knew what the church and the world is telling me.

         Look at yourself. What are the things that perk up your interest. Go back to the things that you learned during your elementary, high school, college years. At present, what line of work are you in? Don't you want to dig deeper and know more of it?

         Sometimes, I deplore the fact that many of us are getting bored and just procrastinate over social websites, playing mindless games or watching videos... We can do better. However, just watch out. Because, of course, everything is in the internet. If God is using the internet to evangelize, the devil, all cunning and shrewd as it is, is also using it to tempt and destroy us. The internet can be both a blessing as well as a curse. We have to be responsible users. Know your limit.

         These are interesting times to be alive. Let us go back and explore all of the things we have gone before and we will discover a lot of new and exciting things. You won't get the hang of it unless you try it !

    Mountains and hills, bless the Lord
        Everything growing from the earth, bless the Lord.
    You springs, bless the Lord;
        Seas and rivers, bless the Lord.
    You dolphins and all water creatures, bless the Lord;
        All you birds of the air, bless the Lord.
    All you beasts, wild and tame, bless the Lord;
        Praise and exalt him above all forever.
    You sons of men, bless the Lord;
        O Israel, bless the Lord.
    Priests of the Lord, bless the Lord;
        Servants of the Lord, bless the Lord.
    Spirits and souls of the just, bless the Lord;
        Holy men of humble heart, bless the Lord.
    Ananias, Azarias, Misael, bless the Lord;
        Praise and exalt him above all forever.
    Let us bless the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost;
        Let us praise and exalt God above all forever.
    Blessed are you in the firmament of heaven;
        Praiseworthy and glorious forever.

Eve of the End

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     One day, as I was going through the papers, I chanced upon a news item detailing the attendance rate among our lawmakers. It was a who's who of who garnered the highest and lowest absences. A few were highlighted for their perfect number of attendance... While reading, it led me back to what I just said in one of my homilies a few Sundays ago about Sundays arriving in our lives as one hilltop after another. Each one of it carrying big meaningful milestone in the life of every Catholic.

     Sunday is sacred to us Catholics. Christ the King Sunday is, much more, very different and special. It is no other milestone. It portends the end of an old church calendar year and, similarly, the beginning of another new one. In our church, we pass on three cycles from A to B to C and back to front A again. In a word, Christ the King Sunday is very unique because it is a NEW YEAR !!! in the Holy Roman Catholic Apostolic church world. We have reach the highest peak! What a kind of feeling. Remembering the words of St. Peter, upon witnessing the transfiguration of our Lord, Jesus Christ, atop Mount Tabor; " ... Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah. " Matthew 17:4

     These musings led me to ask myself who, among our parishioners, were able to perfectly attend, including the three Holy Days of Obligation- December 8, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, December 25, the Birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and January 1, the Feast of the Motherhood of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the past 52 Sundays or more that arrived into their lives. To say it in another way; "Annually, on average, what is their Sunday habit?"

     The second question that I begun to harbor in my mind is; "In those series of Sundays whereby they were in church, what were the factors which either hooked or unhooked them - making them decide to continually come or discouraged to even darken the church doors, at all?"

     Go to church on Christ the King Sunday because you are in for a great array of graces. As we pass through to another new church calendar in the life of our church, our covenant with God is up for another renewal. What is a covenant? It is a solemn agreement between God and us, his creatures, to engage in or refrain from a specified action. In here, we are free unlike a contract wherein one is bound because it is an agreement entered into by two parties or more with the intention of creating a legal obligation...

     Our covenant with God states that we continually be with him for the rest of our lives. This covenant is physically manifested by being in church every Sunday praising and worshipping God through the sacraments, specially the Holy Eucharist. It is communally express, as what the scriptures said ; " For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." (Matthew 25: 35-36)

     I invite you, then, to come with us on our journey to God. We will take you to him. We will be there, at no time. We will be the ".... NEW WINE poured into NEW WINESKINS..." (Matthew 9: 17)

Playing Time

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

         "Do the things you have learned, and you will be blessed." (Psalmody Antiphon 1. Weekday IV Tuesday. Ordinary Time. Daytime Prayer.)

     Nowadays, in print or through the digital edition, how many of us have the habit of reading the newspaper? If you are, with the limited time that you have, what are the pages you usually go through first? Is it the headlines... the comic section... word puzzle... classified ads... society and entertainment section... the arts... the obituary column...?

     Maybe you pay the least attention to it but, in any case, what are the usual details that can be found in the obituary box? Only three things. The name. The age. And, a one or two sentence life summary of the decease describing anything that he or she has contributed to the community.

     Today, I would like to take you on a step by step process of writing our own paid obituary. How do we lay out and make it appear to be? Look closely at your hands and feet. So far, whatever you see in it, was where your life had been through. Look at the distance. Look right in front of you. Where, then, do you still want to take your life? In your imagination, mention your complete name. Your age. Let us make 100 to be all our default age in this matter. Then, on your own, in one or two short simple sentences, summarize your entire life journey...

     Everyday, the world is on a high gear and it is even getting on a higher and higher gears. Whatever might happen "the show must always go on." Whether we like it or not, we are all in full play. All of our talents are involved. Actually, we don't lack anything. It is all even in excess. For one, in fact, obesity rates worldwide are at an all time high. It is also, in the same way, with waste wherein we are encourage to recycle and reuse....

     The only problem is we lost track of our limitations. We became wild. We keep on upgrading and losing touch of where we came from. We wind up consuming more than we can. Chewing up more than we can swallow. The world is drowning in its own vomit- in its own greed. It will come even sooner if we don't relearn the word "STOP" in our lives.

     Do you have a plan? I'm sure most of us have. Stick hard to it. From time to time, go over it. Revise it. But, always stick to it. Don't lose sight of it. Keep it simple and manageable. If it suits you, everything will all unravel from there. It will be the grand entrance for all the other successes in your life. On the other hand, if you make it complicated, it's up to you. You might just be unknowingly punishing and making life hard for yourself.

     A multimillionaire once said that the happiest and most exciting part of his life was towards earning his first million. After that, the next other millions were just a breeze since he has already built a working structure and a system in his life.

     This is also true to all of us. The meaning will be in our struggle in working hard for our first "one million". Our "one million" is subjective. It can mean many things for us in accordance with our plans in life. Once we obtain it, the rest will just be easy. A piece of cake since we already have a working mechanism built-in ourselves.

    Most of all, don't ever forget to throw in God and his virtues in the mix. Both of them are mutually intertwined. This is the most important. This is what will see us through.

     In our history, we all knew one or two, who through their sheer guts and abilities were able to make it. They became extremely well-accomplished persons. However, in the end, they all came crashing painfully down to the ground. Why? They just relied on themselves but not in God. Their successes were actually empty. Success was not tempered by virtues. It filled their heads. It pulled their feet off the ground. They were overwhelmed by their superstar complexes. It was a hollow one that will crash because it cannot stand on its own.

    It is not really surprising why our world economies, leaders and even churches and communities are going in the same route. It is because we forgot the one thing very essential- God and virtues.

    Everyday, from now on, keep on writing and rewriting your own obituary. This will be your guide for the rest of your playing time. And when it comes, will we even amount "to a pound of flesh"? Will there be anything significant written in our obituaries?

Sometime, Someday

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

       The dead are already holy "... for he who has died is freed from sin." ( Romans 6:7)

     When we were still small, I am sure that our elders all taught us that instead of being afraid of the dead, for they can no longer harm us, we have to pray for their departed souls. So that, in turn, they can even be of great help to us. " They are already saints. They live nearer to God than us. " In fact, in our Filipino language, we call the cemetery as "CAMPO SANTO" - Camp of Saints. What we should rather fear more, according to them, are the living. For they can do anything bad against us. Just watch or read the news. What the living can do to another are all there for us to witness.

     A younger sibling once shared a story to me. He was, then, studying at a community college in a foreign country wherein nearby their vicinity is a cemetery. Once, when they have a vacant period, his classmates treated his suggestion, of going and hanging out in that nearby cemetery, as queer. According to them, the place is creepy. It is the place of the dead ! Just leave them alone. For my brother, Asian as he is, a cemetery is a place of tranquility and silence where one can think, in depth, and reflect.

     The living side by side with the dead. In our country, a cemetery is a place just like any others. There are, in fact, many poor and homeless people who made cemeteries as a place of their abode. It is home to them ! They eat, sleep and work side by side with their permanently entombed silent neighbors. From time to time, specially during the death anniversaries of their loved ones, family members, with their flowers, pictures of their dead loved ones, food, chairs, big umbrellas ... come by visiting and, sometimes, spend hours and hours beside the tombs of their departed loved ones. It is a picnic between the living and the dead. It is a time to relax.

     This particular scene is more so magnified come November 1 and 2, the feast days of All the Saints and Souls, respectively, whereby the place is suddenly transformed into one big festival. Depending on their own status in life, some people set up tents, bring in chairs, tables, cooking implements, sound system ... There are singing, eating, drinking in every corner the whole day and night through. For us, Asians, our departed loved ones seem never to have left us. Rather, they merely relocated to another place.

     This mindset is even reinforced by the onset of globalization in our lives. With it, many of us can now afford to travel, work and live for a long extension of time away from our families and country. Death, for us, Filipinos, is no longer that painful as before wherein we felt, as though, pitilessly abandoned and orphaned. For us, death is just a temporary going away. Death is merely a time-bound contract. In the hearts of the families, left behind, is a big hope of a future resurrection by way of their loved ones coming back home once the contract ends.

     I think, as a priest, this in one of the major reasons why we, Filipinos, Asians as we are, are very religious. It is not difficult for us to have faith and believe. With this kind of mindset, it is not hard for us to accept the promise of Jesus Christ of a resurrection from the dead. Yes, we believe that we will all die but will resurrect sometime someday. It is easy for us to believe that eventhough Jesus Christ has left us but that someday he will come back again to judge both the living and the dead.

      Jesus Christ died, resurrected and ascended. However, he left us lots of assurance by way of the Church he founded, the Sacraments, most especially the Holy Eucharist, whereby in doing it in his memory, he is forever present within us.

     One of the most painful experience that I have ever had in my life was when our father died. As a priest, I was not home. When I arrived he was gone. I was not even able to give him the Sacrament of the sick and dying and say a few words of goodbye. However, with my faith in the resurrection, I am greatly consoled. I am certainly sure that, sometime someday, my father and all of our loved ones, "the saints", who have already left us will all resurrect from the dead. There will be one big reunion in the cemetery, in our campo santo, and in heaven together with our Heavenly Father, with all his angels, the saints and martyrs and the Blessed Virgin Mary.

The Love Jeepney

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

In the Philippines, our one form of mass transports is the jeepney. In it is seen the aesthetic creativity of every Filipino male. Its body is a virtual canvas whereby it is filled up with a lot of artistic designs that its owner or manufacturer can think of putting up.

     When I was a child, parked, nearby our house, is a jeepney whereby every morning, on our way to and from school, I often see it also passing by on its way to its daily route. This particular jeepney is somewhat memorable to me as boldly and colorfully emblazoned in its side body is the word: LOVE

     From then on, everytime, I see that particular jeepney, I also ask myself; " What is love? " I started wondering, then, whether it is as colorfully attractive as the way it was painted and presented on the side body of that jeepney and unlike our black and white television set at home whereby, on lazy weekend afternoons, we have no other choice but watched boring program reruns in it. Maybe, LOVE is not boring but must be very exciting !

     When I was a child, Sundays were unexciting. For me, it is time for church and the next day, Monday, will be another class day. What really pushed me to go to mass, anyway, was the slides located besides the church, wherein while the mass is ongoing, I would sneaked out of the church, make a run for it and play there until the mass has ended. I was often berated for this practice. My ears were pulled to get me back inside the church. It was on one such of these occasions, when I was pressured to be inside the church, when I heard from the mouth of the priest-celebrant the word: LOVE. In my young mind, then, what the priest was preaching was still so abstract. However, what I can only clearly made out of it all is the word: LOVE.

     A question finally brewed within me; " How is that LOVE related to the one boldly and colorfully emblazoned on the side body of that jeepney I see everyday? Is God, who, the priest said, is LOVE riding in the jeepney? "

     Since I went to a Catholic school, in our religion classes, I also heard our teachers telling us that God, who is LOVE, can be found everywhere. He is omnipresent. He being its creator. He is in every creation. We can talk to God in the Blessed Sacrament in our churches. We can read about him in the Sacred Scriptures. We can see him, though very disciplinarian and strict, in our priests. They being the alter Christus- the other Christ here on earth. And, most of all, God is in all of us.   "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them." (Genesis 1: 27) Therefore, we must respect and LOVE each other. God, through the Holy Spirit, speaks to us in the daily events of our lives. God is moving in our history. God must really be in that jeepney!

      In this way, I learned that everything here on earth is good. God created all of them. It is only us, human beings, with our pride, greed, gluttony, lust, sloth, envy and anger, who made it all bad and evil.

     Nowadays, God often get the blame for all kinds of calamities befalling us. Rather, it is us, humans, and our sinful nature, and not God, who must plead guilty in all of these. We are the ones boring and unexciting, after all.

     God, who is LOVE, is truly colorful and exciting just as I found it emblazoned in that particular jeepney which I often see on our way to and back from school.

     Now, I am all grown up and a priest. With years, that particular jeepney which I often see before, is no more. It has seen better days. As with all others, I saw it parked rusting in a junk shop waiting its turn to be demolished and recycled. However, everytime, I have the chance to pass it by, all of the past memories come knocking back. That particular jeepney was an instrument in planting in me the curiosity and, at the same time, teaching me who God is. He is LOVE and no other. I believed and am convinced. So, I came following him, as one of his priests, an alter Christus.

Come One! Come All!

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

Before, I used to have the impression that, due to the absence of so many external distractions and being near to nature, people living in the mountain areas and outlying rural villages are more religiously incline than their counterparts living in a more relatively urban areas where distractions, of all sorts, abound. However, during our seminary mission activities before, wherein our first agenda is to do a house to house visitations inviting people to our daytime and nightime catechesis, I found that both of them are confronted with, more or less, the same struggles.

     Locationwise, it was different. But, overall, nothing was quite substantially different. Whereas people in the urban areas have their video and television sets, people in the mountain and rural areas have their radios and sing-along equipments, their bottles of liquor... that bring them consolation, throughout the day and night, from the pain of living in a harsh unforgiving world.

     Our invitation for a series of catechetical lessons, for many of the indifferent adults, is again one of those boring lectures that they have underwent before in their lives. They don't want to be "trapped" again in a place with four corners. It suffocates them. They just want to be and spend the rest of their lives on their own terms. They want to be subjectively free. According to them; "This is something good for me. So be it."

     Since it is summer and the school is out, they instead pushed their children to go and attend our sessions. For a week or so, we end up as virtual caregivers of their children. In the evening, a few adult persons who sympathized with our cause, came also. Some really came seriously. However, there are those who were just hanging around mingling with the crowd, being onlookers or just out of curiosity. So, they were very distractive and noisy.

     We tried to be very patient and understanding towards them. As time went on, in the process of getting to know more about them, what we discovered did not surprised us anymore. Since they were afraid to be in places with four corners, they were not able to finish their studies; they cannot find a job which they felt suits them; except for their own weddings, the baptism of their children and, finally, their own funerals, under no obligation will they be caught inside the church, that much; usually, the last time they had been to confession was the time when they received their first Holy Communion; they are afraid to be in clinics or hospitals to see the doctor; they are not often found at home, they are in the corners wandering... Anyway, who is not? They are afraid to die. In their minds, to die is to be in a coffin - four corners.

    Many scientific minded people might immediately call it as a classic case of claustrophobia, which is an abnormal fear of being in enclosed spaces. However, in the mind of the church, it is nothing short of religious indifference gradually sweeping in and around us nowadays.

    For some, faith in God is like a fairytale that has nothing to do with their concrete day to day lives. "It is for children. Go and let them attend those sessions." For some, it is a big block that takes so much of their precious time. "I am so busy. I have no time." For some, it is just held in reserve ready to be pulled out anytime, as needed. "I do it later when I retire, get old and sick."

    Salvation comes from our faith in God. Here on earth, we have the church as the virtual heavenly embassy of God. While on earth, it is the center of our faith. It is a sacred holy ground. It is where the water of our baptism flowed. It is where we received our first Holy Communion. It is where we remit our sins and are forgiven. It is where loving persons get their marriages blessed. It is where we were ordained to the sacred orders. And, finally, time will come, it is where we will ask for the viaticum and the infirmorum (holy oil) for our own last journey back home to heaven. This will be our victory.

     The church has four pillars; the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, the Sacred Scriptures, the Sacred Traditions and us. "So God created humans in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." (Genesis 1: 27)

     Without us, our church is incomplete. The church needs, wants and welcomes all of us. It is the temporary earthly home of our faith. In it we live and, under the inspiration of the Blessed Virgin Mary, strive hard to be saints.

    We have to change our frames of thinking. The church is not only for the small children, the retired, the infirm, the dying.... Rather, it is for all of us strong and weak, sinners and saints, schooled and unschooled, rich and poor.... Going once. Going twice. COME ONE !!!   COME ALL !!!

Acknowledge and Accept

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     Prices aside, registered mails are quite much different from ordinary mails. Registered mails are special. It carry with it an invisible " HANDLE WITH CARE " prescription. It is individually recorded and put in a distinct place. With a tracking number written on the receipt given to the sender upon the time it was sent, one can track its whereabouts until it safely reaches its addressee. It doesn't even end there. Upon reaching the place of the addressee, if the person concern to whom it was meant for is not available, someone who knows that person should acknowledge it by affixing their signature, as the official receiver. Then, in return, the postman , upon going back to the post office from his route, will make a written report that all of the registered mails for that day have been properly and duly delivered, as shown in the signed records.

     On the other hand, ordinary mails are the unhurried ones. In time, it earned the monicker "snail mail." It does not carry with it any guarantee. It is not recorded. Nothing is given to the sender, as proof. So, there is no way by which it can be tracked down, in case of loss or theft. The post man can just deposit it on the addressee's mailbox, if there is one, or leave it anywhere in the house like under the doorway or inserted in windows. No reporting is ever made of it.

     I believe that the postal service does it's job well. But, on many occurrences, I and my family has a number of sad cases about this matter. In the past years, we experienced undelivered but much expected important mails from somewhere.

     Just as the feeling of receiving something from the mail from someone somewhere is so unexplainable, and so, the life of a Christian is so exciting. Everyday, before we even get out of bed, bagfuls and bagfuls of graces from God are already in line waiting at our footsteps for every aspect of our lives.

     In our lives, there are countless volumes of expressly delivered but unopen graces. For, we simply do not know how to acknowledge and accept it. It is specifically addressed to us. "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..." Isaiah 49: 16 Our life is in a hurry running after the clock. How many of us still have the morning prayer habit? From bed, we might immediately go straight forward to the bathroom to relieve and wash ourselves. Eat a quick breakfast and off we go to our daily routine to seek something we thought are the higher things like money and possessions. In public, do we acknowledge and accept our faith? We feel awkward doing it in public. How many of us still remember to make the sign of the cross or even pray the "Prayers Before and After Meals" inside a cafeteria amidst a people not of our faith? Reaching back home or our dormitories, how many of us thank God that our whole day had been all safe and fruitful? Going to sleep, how many of us pray as what the Nunc Dimittis said;   "Lord, now you let your servant go in peace; Your word has been fulfilled. My eyes has seen the salvation you have prepared in the sight of every people. A light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of your people, Israel..". ( Liturgy of the Hours, 1975 )

     " I'm busy." I always hear this short and simple sentence from people who sometimes abuse it as an excuse or as a "cordon sanitaire" between them and the people or situation that they do not want to face or be confronted with .

     To acknowledge and accept is the first step to a fruitful faith and life. We must never forget it. We have to do something about it. Because God never forgets. He has always something good for each of us. Because, in case, we don't do anything about it. "... every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire." (Matthew 3:10)

Drop Out

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     In the seminary before, weekly, we have a freetime. For a certain length of time, during the day, we are allowed to go out to do our things like buying things we need, eat, see a movie, friends...

     For us, seminarians, we often look forward to it. At that time, it is an opportunity to see the outside world once again. However, sometimes, due to some situations and circumstances, it is curtailed.

     In time, we came to get used to it. We felt bad. There are some who would just go out without permission. Ran away and never came back. They dropped out. On the other hand, our formators would often remind us that freetime is merely a privilege that is freely given and, at the same time, can be taken away. It is not fixed in the seminary schedule.

     We came to the faith at different stages of our lives. To many, very early, as an infant. Some, as an adult. For a number, later in life, even at the point of death...

     Faith is a gift given only to a few. It is a great privilege. It is freely given but with a caveat. At no time, it can also be lost and taken back by the giver. Faith is not a symbolic awards like trophies, medals, certificates... which we can just left hanging around our walls to be admired at a distance.

     Just as in life, there is nothing permanent. Day by day, we have to work on it. Maintain and sustain it. Otherwise, it gets diminishing returns. We forget about it. It vanishes from our view. Eventually, we find ourselves as one of the so-called faith drop outs. They willingly chose to drop out from the race. What they merely did is to keep the faith locked out inside their hearts. They said; "I have the faith and thats all. No big deal about having it." There are just some people who, due to some trivial circumstances, simply forget to give back for their faith.

     Taking and giving back is a natural law. However, some corrupt it altogether. Just paying attention to the former and forgetting about the latter part. Just look at what is happening to our economic life. We have mounting debts. We are in a great deficit. Overdrafts... We have taken more than we have given back. It is a tailspin to nowhere.

     Technological faith? With the rapid technological development happening all around us, some would rather chose to stake it out and invest their faith in it. It is faster. More convenient. Gives off the quickest answer. Whereas, prayer is too tedious. Needs long hours of waiting. Slow... However, technology has no soul. It has nothing beyond it. It is a bottomless pit. Once you get weak and sick it will slowly gnaw and eat you all up.

     We are running wild with technology to an eventual neverending addiction. No one will be waiting for us at the end of the tunnel. Just a simple observation. In just a span of a few months, we are bombarded with newer models upon newer models of advanced technologies promising us speed. Things go from being old to obsolete. What was just new today will be immediately old tomorrow. We are left with a lot of waste. This also goes the same way with our markets, as I've earlier stated. We cannot fully rely on it. It tanks, at anytime. It can only progress to a point. With it, we are always teetering on our toes. There is not surety in all of it.

     Where do we go next? Back to our faith. Back to where we came from. During the daytime, we might have gone so far out there. However, at the end of the day, it is to our faith where we go back home to. Together with our family, with our God, we celebrate our faith.

     Hang on your faith. Keep it enrolled and make the grade. Past the series of test with flying colors. Please don't be a faith drop out!

One, Two, Three ...

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

     "If two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (Matthew 18: 19-20)

     For parents, whom among you will permit a dearly beloved teenage son of yours to live, away from home, in a community? From then on, he will no longer be yours. You will just see him once in a while. Sometimes, to the extent of, becoming a stranger to you.

     I remember a movie script I saw several years ago which said; "I think I am in the wrong army. This is not what my recruiter told me..."

     Our family house is just located very proximately from the minor seminary wherein I first entered as a hig school student. At that time and age, it was an early venture out for me totally away from my own family.

     There were a lot of uncertainties. For an idealistic teenager, wanting to change a sinful and disordered world. I was full of surprise to find a community very different from what I read in the books or saw in the movies. A classic example of always not believing anything you saw and heard.

     I found myself in a community full of persons with their own human failings. There were good ones and there were bullies too. There were a lot of discouraging situations. However, this experience brought me down to the reality that I am also a sinner. I have difficulty adjusting with all the different personality clashes. The church though it is really divine being founded by our Lord, Jesus Christ himself. In the same vein, it is also all too human. In humility, one has to go all through it and survive. Or else, you are out.

     In my youthfulness, I decided to stay and endure all the sacrifices being offered in the community I found myself in. I knew early on that this kind of human enterprise will be all similar to the future communities that I will be encountering in the years to come. I told myself that if I want to change errors in the things that I live with, I have to stay and be an agent of change from the inside and not from the outside.

     While away, in the formation, it is also very important to have a stable family behind you. My resolve to pursue the vocation to the priesthood gathered more muscles when I came to know that my own family were rallying behind me by praying the rosary altogether in front of the Sacred Heart of Jesus every Friday after school and just before their television viewing time. My vocation became not only my own cause but a family one. On Sundays, they all go together for the mass and I also saw them for a moment.

     Thank God for my family. Thank God for the gift of the vocation to the priesthood. Thank God for the community really struggling to become one. It is my vision that if we all pursue the good long enough, we will all be there in no time. A sentence I found in the Legion of Mary handbook said it all; "Real achievement is dependent upon sustained effort, which in turn is the outcome of an unconquerable will to win."

Back Tote

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

    "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life, will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

     Remember our elementary years? Good for those students whose families can provide for them school bags with wheels, a pull cart or pay a person, the whole day, to carry it for them. However, for me, at that time, I have to pick it up and carry, on my own, at my back, to and from school, all the textbooks... the workbooks... the notebooks... the project materials... In addition to these, since I attended a Chinese school, are the Chinese books, notebooks... It was really an early backbreaking experience for me.

     Remember our high school and early college years? Good for those students, real or just feigning, who can just invoke illness, knew a person who can get them a medical certificate and, thus, academically exempt them from the obligatory military training implemented at that time. However, for me and many others, every weekend, I have to run out to the field, perspiringly marched the whole morning under the heat of the sun carrying a three-kilogram wooden rifle. It was a teenage backbreaking experience for me.

     All throughout my younger years, I keep on asking myself ; "Why must a person go back and forth to school when every school year all that was being taught were just a repetition of the last?" It was all too tedious for me. However, slowly, I noticed that our textbooks were getting thinner and fewer, texts were smaller and lessons were getting deeper. As we advanced in years, I learned that coming from home to school, we were being prepared to enter the bigger society where everything is unpredictably happening. Home might be secure and comfortable. But, school, the community, the society... is getting more and more challenging to me by the day. My question to myself now is; "Is there anything that I can contribute to it for the better?"

     Thank God that I went to a Catholic school. In this way, our religion classes, the monthly confessions, the first Friday masses... had been a big help in strengthening my faith to face a world full of temptations and sins. In this way also, it helped me discern what kind of vocation I would like to pursue in my lifetime.

     With my Catholic education, it opened up my mind to the fact that my family are not the only ones I have left back home; my parents, siblings, grandparents... On the other hand, as a great extension, my family also includes the Church, the society, the country I found myself in. Just as I have a filial obligation to my own family, I also have a religious one to my Church, a patriotic one to my country, a green one to my environment... This is a general patronage experience. A very wholesome and spirit-uplifting experience to speak of. As the motto of the Boys Town said; " He is not heavy. He is my brother. "

Near and Close

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

In recent times, my attention having been much rivetted to how rapid modern digital technology was unravelling and evolving, by the day; how, in just a few months time to a year, a so-called latest model with its equally multifarious features are being put up in the market to overshadow the immediate has-been latest models, it led me to question; "Where is technology taking us? " To which I received a straight answer; " It won't take us that far before we tell ourselves to turn and go back to what we were already familiar with - the basics: calling, texting, emailing.

Nowadays, going organic or locavore, eating locally produced foods, is so much in vogue. It is the "in" thing to do. To be one is to be politically correct. Be on the right side of history. In a word, what all this means is that humanity has already went too far. It has already reached the space age and beyond. It is slowly losing touch from where it started. It is overstretching as to spread itself too thinly. It is now even trying to destroy itself. People killing one another. Destroying the environment. And so, it would want to go back to its original existence- living simply and naturally.

I love to be home. When I was still a seminarian, I longed for the home visits that come monthly and long vacations like semester breaks, Christmas and summer vacations. Those were the golden years. During those times, I often excitedly look forward to flying back to the old nest and reconnect with the first persons whom I got to know in my life like my parents, siblings, grandparents...

I held on to the memories of being together with them. I know in my heart and mind that these people are the ones who will never change whatsoever. They are as when I first found them. At the same time, at the back of my head, I am already foreseeing that not long and far the opportunities to see and be with them, the short breaks and long vacations, will, one day, go from being sporadic, to drying up and completely just stop. We have left and gone away from home. We each have our own life to live and dreams to pursue. Who knows where it will take us and end up?

In our lives, in the course of going about our careers and vocations, we met a lot of people. We don't know them that much. Our relationship with them varies. Some became great friends, spouses, business clients and partners, acquaintances. In the daytime, we worked with them to reach our intended goals and destinations. However, at the end of the day, at the top or down, successful or broken, quite far and wide...we would like to go back to what is familiar and domestic - the basics- our own family whom we know and love to the end. We would like them to be just within reach. For one, how did you feel when once you try to contact them and they were outside the coverage area or out of reach?

Just the sight of them, the smell of them, their warmth... it will make us whole once again. We will be enriched. In the language of the Voltes V generation; " Lets volt in !!! " In the spiritual aspect, no longer will we be spread too thinly, too far and open to an attack by the devil. We can resist its temptation. Because, by then, we will be firmly solid. Backing us is our faith, our family, our home. The basics- things that are near and close to our hearts that will make us one and strong.

Switch On and Off

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

       In our parish church, since it can afford to provide, we have a number of electrical appliances available hanging around that our parishioners can use specially during our worship services like the electric fans installed in each corner, the stand by airconditioning, in case the climate gets unbearable during the summer seasons, the overhead projectors, the lights, the sound system...

      They are all very mechanical. Each of them have their own specific functions that we expect them to deliver when we turn its switch ON or OFF.   It is very fragile and limited. The accompanying manual says it all. It cannot be expected to perform more than anything it was not preprogrammed to operate during its manufacturing process. With use, there will come a time when it will reach it allowable mileage. Either it goes out of order, gets repaired and returned in service or just discarded and replaced.

      As in all others, here in our parish church lives the living God, priceless and irreplaceable, who can do for us, literally everything that we would want him to do, only if we have the right faith and the necessary virtues like humility, patience, persistence and the like... He is an automatic God operating 24/7 . He doesn't take off for vacation or sick leave. He is always present that the "... Father knows what you need before you ask him. " (Matthew 6:8)

    If that is the case, what do we do, then? Don't just sit there. Do something. God helps those who help themselves. Do your part. When we come to church, adore him. We only have one God to worship and there is no other. Surrender to him everything that we are carrying around and let him takeover our lives. The Blessed Virgin Mary, the saints... are merely means to get us to him.

    Do an act of contrition. Have a sincere and complete remorse for the sins committed. If there is a sufficient time and a priest is available, make it superlatively with a good confession.

      Thank God for everything, big and small, we received yesterday, today and will receive tomorrow. There are just a lot of things to be thankful for in our lives.

       Finally, do a supplication by reiterating to God all that we really need for our family, relationships, health, work vocation.... Often times, this is the our most favorite part that we sacrifice the three others; the adoration, contrition and thanksgiving. These three are forgotten because we found ourselves stuck in supplication. It took most of our time. We got tired and just stopped there.

       God's operation is like our modern convenience stores nowadays. He doesn't know a "SORRY, WE ARE CLOSED" sign. All he knows is a "WELCOME, I'M OPEN" sign. Whatever happen, he is there. Don't just walk nor run but sprint towards him.

Float

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

         In my life, I have seen various objects floating on water. Garbage of all sorts... bloated bodies of animals... and, one time, after a flood, a body of a drowned person. From time to time, I also hear in the news about floating bodies found of murdered victims.

Overheard or actually experienced, this particular scene is somewhat already familiar to some of us. Someone going missing for sometime and for unusual reasons. People usually await their corpses ending up in a grassy vacant lot somewhere or floating on the river in the early morning. Curious passersby and onlookers... kibitzers... gathered on the sides while the authorities conduct their investigation.

    During special civic occasions, there is usually a parade of floats on the streets whereby people standing by, up on trees, buildings and rooftops can watch and cheer on featured personalities. This also goes in the same vein with our religious celebrations. In places where there is a body of water nearby, aside from the usual street processions, there is the fluvial procession. Venerated patron saints are place on floating pagodas. For some people who can, follow by boats while many of the devotees just wait and pray on the banks and shores as it passes by and arrives.

      There are some unavoidable accidents. There is the belief among many devotees that being on the pagoda of the venerated saint will bring a lot of graces and indulgences. Some politicians even used this occasion to be seen- "free mileage". So, with the sheer number, the limited space, the mismanagement... all of these add to a tragedy on the water. Things and lives are wasted. The pagoda tilts, slides and belly up. As a consequence, many lives are lost and limbs permanently broken. These incidents happen when people start thinking only of themselves irrespective of others.

      To want something for our own selves is good. We love ourselves. We want to be good. And, we want to be recognized for that matter. It is all legimate. I its human nature to desire the limelight. To be seen. To be admired. To be praised. However, as in anything, it entails purity of intention.

    That's why, notable persons who have achieved something for the country and community are put on a pedestal, on floats, to be paraded and seen by the society. They are model figures worthy to be admired and imitated. In the same way, saints, who have been exemplary with their faith, are put on floats to be venerated by the faithfuls and devotees. It is an age old tradition of our church.

      The floating bodies of salvage victims... The people on floats being paraded... The venerated saints in their golden pagodas being processed... The difference is on the intentions.

   You, what do you intend to do? Purify your intentions first and do it. If it is good and pure, it will certainly float. People will support and propagate it. However, if otherwise, it will sink and float stinking, dead and decomposing. A thing worth nothing but garbage.

Heaven Haven

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

         In recent years, aside from the numerous natural calamities that engulfed us like the earthquakes, floods..., there was also the very unprecedented global recession that the world, in all if its history, have never been through.Directly or indirectly, everyone were affected. For the former, it was sure hell. Businesses were closing. Unemployment abounds everywhere. Or, if not, the next available job is several thousand miles away.

      What is hell? Hell is a state or place of great suffering. It is a very unpleasant experience.

      Though there are now these modern technologies that can unwittingly bridge the distance, however, it is still hell for family persons to be away, for a long extended time, from their own family and loved ones. It is human nature not to be satisfied. We want more. To see is to believe. Humans need the real hard presence of someone they love.

    People from both sides are tight lipped. They just keep silent about many things in their lives. Anyway, this type of living arrangement, momentarily and temporarily, answer a very utilitarian purpose. It is good for the economy. Monthly remittances and the occasional goodies sent home are fine, for the moment, to pay the bills, tuition, loans... However, I repeat, physical persons need another physical person. It is a "quid pro quo" in any relationships - equal exchange or substitutions of goods or services. As of now, what is happening is virtual divorce. In fact, the legal definition of separation is living apart. And, a separation for two years is already one of the grounds for divorce.

       I, for one, am not only focusing on the negative aspects of this matter. For awhile, it is not bad to be away from one's own family. From time to time, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." However, for not too long. For those concerned, ask yourself this hard question; "Am I sure that my relationship with my family back home is stable?" What stories people express on the air or online are only the icings, the good ones. They don't tell the true sad picture for fear of any distant disappointment.

    If hell is that way, what, then, is heaven? Heaven is a place or state of very great happiness. It is a point whereby loved ones decide that they have had enough and go home for good to be with their families. This is not a fairy tale-type of story. Irrespective of any considerations, heaven is the real presence .

      In the morning, children will go and, in the afternoon, come home from school seeing their parents. Husband and wife helping each other resolve problems. A whole family gathering in prayer and going to Mass on Sundays. A family doing things together. This is heaven. If there is love, everything will else just come second and handy. There will be no problem difficult enough.

This is in the same way what Jesus Christ did for us thousand years ago. Humans sinned. We were painfully separated from God. He came, to live with us except sin, to save and bring us back to our original state as children of God. After awhile, he left us to ascend to heaven but gave us his real presence through the sacraments, particularly the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. He is always with us in the church, in the tabernacle and most specially during the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. We have to come near and receive him to complete his real presence inside us. "In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." (John 14:2-3)

      Home is heaven, if there is love... if there is the needed support... if there is the care... And, most of all, home is heaven if God is its center.

    Heaven is not a structure nor an address located somewhere out there. Home is where there is the real presence between one another. By then, home is heaven.

Weed Seed

Fr. Allan S. Fenix

        Everyday, in our life, we have heard of so many of these similar cases. I knew a strong and healthy person who went through a sudden death. Everything was a big surprise. He was found dead cold a few hours after entering his room to take a rest. The cause of death, after an autopsy was conducted, was determined to be a case of aneurysm, a condition whereby a brain artery ruptured causing massive internal hemorrhage. There were no earlier symptoms. Everything just occured quick and fast.

      I'm not a medical specialist. I don't want to talk about these medical stuffs. Its not my field. Anyone interested on these can just go and read about it in the internet or in any available physiology books. However, who among us exactly knows the inner workings of our internal organs? I, for one, dread going for my regular physical check up. I don't want to exactly know whats wrong with my heart, brain, kidney, liver... We often overhear many say; " Before I went to the doctor, I was not sick. But, I was after seeing one. Because the doctor kept on telling what was wrong with me. "

   I, like so many others, am in the middle of my life. It had been awhile since I passed through the so-called growth period. My external and internal organs have already reached its full maturity. Genetics might have a very strong influence. If we are sick at this age, be scared and catch up in healing ourselves. A long way is still up waiting for us. If we are healthy and strong, fruitful years are still up ahead of us.

   If we are running sound, we need not overdo things. Cool it down. We are no longer as dexterous as we were in our 20s and 30s. Those were the days. Regulate everything. Think only of positive thoughts. Remember to always read something connected to ones field of work, vocation, status in life in order to feed something helpful into ones brain.

      Remember to always get a few minutes of exercise to maintain our muscle mass. Work on something you like and find worthwhile. So that you can afford to buy whatever you need like the food to keep body and soul intact. Have a life beyond one's day job. Cultivate a hobby. Make friends. But, most of all, go to Mass, pray and be always prepared for any eventualities by being in the state of grace. The confessional is just around the corner.

      Our external and internal circuitry is divine. " So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. " (Genesis 1:27) We are the best. Top of the line. With our reason and freedom, we are the highest form of creature that our Lord God, the creator, created.

      A sound mind in a sound body. Our well-honed intellect and divine soul should lead our physical body to its fullness.

     We do not know what is in store for us in our tomorrows. We might get terribly sick. We might meet with a fatal accident. We might succeed unimaginably. However, what is very essential is that we are physically and spiritually well-disposed to whatever life might throw our way. With God in our lives, we can approximately see what will it be in the end. And, for sure, it won't hurt that much. As children of God; we " ... will shine like the sun in the Father's kingdom.... " (Matthew 13:43)

Light and Easy

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In our parish, there are a number of lapsed Catholics. They are people who, after receiving the Sacrament of Baptism, have either never actually gone back or just occasionally have been to church to sacramentally renew their faith. Because of this, in the spirit of the third commandment, "To make holy the Lord's day" many members of our parish religious organizations and movements assiduously campaign for them to, at least, attend our Sunday masses.

I often thank God for these fervent full-time parishioners. They are of great help to us. They are, literally, in church the whole day. In no time, things get done. Activities are carefully prepared. Seats are arranged. Vessels are cleaned. Linens are washed. Garbage is thrown out. Plants are watered. However, in one of our regular recollections, I asked them a straight question, " How are your families?" Therein I discovered that we have extremist parishioners. Persons who have to be in church praying and just going about, no matter what.<>

In a word, they are neglecting the needs of their own families for the sake of the church. God must be very unhappy for this. Their spouses and their children also crave much for their precious attention. Hot meals for the family. Fresh clothes. Things to be fixed and repaired. A clean living environment. As family persons, there are just certainly neverending things that cry out to be done around the house. As a priest, I felt pity that there were some persons who spent so much of their time in church that they did so at the very expense of spending quality time with their own family. One was even on the verge of a separation. So, I strongly told them that religion, the church, is not an escape. They have to go back and attend to their family affairs. The church can always take good care of itself. God is eternal. Things can always wait. Patience.

We need dedicated parishioners. However, it must not be to the detriment of their own family. As family persons, it is your mission field. In there, evangelization should start. There are the family prayers. Meal times. Sharing of lives. Just go to church to celebrate. Everybody will be happy. In turn, the Lord God will be very happy for all of us.

We cannot say that we love God but not our family. The love of God is just a natural consequence of feeling love in our family. We love God because we love our family. And, in turn, we love our family because we love God.

Bite and Swallow

By Father Allan S. Fenix

We spend too much time eating and talking about food. One day, while I was channel surfing, I passed by a cooking show. It was beautiful and entertaining. All day long, the channel did not broadcast anything but about the joy of preparing, cooking and eating food. On the side, I also saw an eating contest. The one who eats the most in the quickest possible time wins. The technique that I saw them employ is bite and swallow. There was no substantial chewing. Just bite and swallow until they consumed everything. Right there, I concluded to myself that these shows are teaching me to be a glutton -- to be greedy for food. Food for the sake of food.

Everywhere one goes, aside from the people, food is the first thing that one will readily encounter. It is an introduction to a greater thing called culture. A way of knowing people and their innermost thoughts and feelings. However, oftentimes, as in many other things, we spend too much time dwelling on it. It is as if there is nothing of greater import in the world to think about. We end up being a gourmet. A gourmet is one who knows a lot about good food, wines and enjoys choosing and eating them.

Ask yourself this question: Whenever you get together with your family and friends, what are you usually concerned about first? Surely, it would be about around the kinds of food to be prepared, brought and partaken, eaten and enjoyed the whole day long. Maybe we have made a quick prayer before meals. However, is God, the provider of all these things, ever given credit or mentioned again in the course of our succeeding conversations? Most usually, our later exchanges in front of our food will be about our family, work, health, latest acquisitions or future plans.

Recently, in the news, there was a food and drink scare in a place which quickly spread out to all the places where they export their food products. Apparently, a certain form of chemical additive, poisonous on a certain level, was added in order to increase the amount of food and bring in more profits. There were recalls. Store shelves were emptied. The persons responsible were punished.

In no time, people went back to the basics. They learned again how to appreciate eating simple and naturally home-cooked foods. People turned to gastronomy, which is the art and science of choosing, cooking and eating good food, eating only what is nutritious and healthy.

As Catholics, we have to be divine gastronomists. To be one is to be holy. Seven days a week, we buy and consume commercial foods which are sometimes very oily and unhealthy. We have to go back to the original provider of all these food stuffs we have around -- the Holy Eucharist. It might not be an answer to our physical hunger after working a backbreaking eight hours. However, with the proper preparations, it is a sure-fire answer to our spiritual famine. We fall in line. Receive it. Masticate on it. And, it becomes a part and parcel of our lives.

Healthwise, it is not good to be a glutton. We will be overweight, in no time or obese in the near future. It is socially acceptable to be a gourmet. People will see us as a person of culture. However, in all these things, it is much blessed to be a divine gastronomist. Because we partake of the genuine food of all foods -- Jesus Christ, the living bread.

"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them." (John 6: 54-56).

Breaking the Ice

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The other day, I passed by and read the following screaming statement in a computer store window, "You are out of style. It's now three dimensional!" Actually, it was a commercial for a very expensive newly-introduced video camera with a three dimensional feature.

I was taken in by that statement: Got curious and entered the store to see for myself what it was all about. Inside, watching those scenes shown on a vast array of screens, I felt as though I was transported and was made into one of the characters in the film itself.

Three dimensional technology, which enhances the illusion of depth perception, is nothing new. It is old. It has existed, in some form, since the 1950s. However, due to the cost of producing it, it became unpopular. It later experienced a worldwide resurgence in the 1980s and '90s.

How does one literally break a block of hard ice? By using an ice pick, an ice shaver or a saw, perhaps.

The Holy Trinity, "the trio," is , once again, inside the room and just bouncing around. How can we catch, get hold and possess a piece of it, in our hands, and proudly say, "I have it. This is mine. It's part of me!"

In the long past, it being a mystery, we are always told that there is no way by which we can fully grasp the Holy Trinity. However, we now have technology that can allow us the technique to dive deep into that mystery and, at least in the process, get a bit of an approximation of just about what it is.

Once again, we open wide our wild imagination and we need a three dimensional technology to fully understand the Holy Trinity.

The Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, has just won the grand lotto jackpot price and he is giving away money and stuffs to just about anyone he knows or doesn't. He is beaming with bright lights attracting everything to him. He is the godfather to whom we can go to. The superman who will protect and defend us. The Robinhood who will provide for us.

Go back. Go back to the screen protagonists and superheroes of our times. Though, they may be all science fictions, the Holy Trinity is a bit the sum total of them.

The comparison is much wanting. It is crude and inadequate. However, at least we see a spark of light of who is the Holy Trinity out of this simple exercise. In a word, the Holy Trinity is always there with us.

Coming down to reality, the Holy Trinity is in each of us. It is in the person beside you. Your neighbors. The persons in the corner you passed by on your way to work or school. He is in the person whom you encountered at the bus and train stations selling you tickets, food, and carrying your luggage. Most of all, the Holy Trinity is in the Blessed Sacrament. We have to share it to know and understand it.

This is breaking the ice between human and the infinite divine intelligence. Though a mere peep, this is the reality show for us. This is the real version of the three dimensional technology. Ever new and ever fresh. For the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, is real for us and we are together, one with them.

Sputtering On

By Father Allan S. Fenix

For those of us who grew up in the 1980s, perhaps you are familiar with the new wave band Tears for Fears' song "Mother's Talk" which said; "My features form with a change in the weather... We can work it out..." During those younger and more carefree days, oblivious to what was up ahead of us, we used to play it repeatedly until the tape casette player ate those casette rolls.

Its midyear and we are about to enter the third quarter of the year. Whereas a new Philippine schoolyear has just started, in some other countries it has just ended and summer time is just beckoning to the beaches, vacations, trips... For some workers, its time to receive their midyear bonuses. Businesses are doing their midyear inventories -- stock more on these, buy less of those -- in preparation for the biggest sales event of the fourth and last quarter, Christmas.

For many of us, birthdays and Christmas are the two happiest days in our lives. It is, at these times, when the best foods are prepared and served, and we also get to receive some gifts.

It is also the same way with our Church. Its time again to rejoice! Today is Pentecost Sunday, when the Holy Spirit came to be with the disciples on their mission, and it is the birthday of our Church. And we, with our engines still sputtering on, have just reached the mountain top.

Have those machines tuned up, oil changed and give them a check up: We are on our way.

We have not yet reached our destinations. But, it is at this time, having already gathered a sufficient amount of data under our belts, when we can have something to rightly look back on and look forward to.

Maybe, for some, they can, by now, glimpse the glimmer of light at the end of their tunnels. This will be it for them up to the end of this year. There are also many who are still in the grips of darkness. Don't lose hope. I assure you that in a matter of two or more Sundays, a few more hills up ahead, for sure, something good up there awaits us.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, in The Terminator, said; "I'll be back!" For the past few Sundays, in our lives, it has been one uphill battle after another until we reached this point. Now, from this point on, a few more pushes uphill, and we will already reach the Christmas season, which is also the time when our Lord, Jesus Christ, came to be with us. To be like us except sin. To accompany us in our journey until we reach our true final destination, heaven. I, for one, will also be there with you. So, don't be far out unreachable. Don't be absent. "Be back!!!" I expect to see more of you in the coming Sundays. Together we will journey on. Together we can work it out. Be there!

Gigabyte Heaven

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The rooftop of our house is my favorite hang out spot and it is where I found my vocation to the priesthood.

Since the place where we live is always flooded whenever it rains hard, the foundation of the house was elevated and truckload upon truckload of soil was dumped when it was reconstructed after a severe flood caused much damage. An additional story was also added.

Now the house not only stands a few feet higher than the road level, but high atop it. On a clear day, free from any visual obstructions, one can stare blankly at the blue, open sky and, similarly, at the twinkling starry sky come night-time. Using a telescope, one can even see higher and farther away.

The rooftop of the house serves multipurpose functions. With its free flow of air and sunlight, wet laundries immediately dry out. Back when there was only analog television, it was a good antennae spot. For good radio signals, I also strung a horizontal long wire antennae.

The streets are busy. So, we go up there to play house, ball, or fly a kite sometimes. When it rains, we just lie there and let the rain fall on our faces. On lazy weekends, with nothing to do, I would just go there and stare up at the various cloud formations, the passing far out airplane, the birds, or down at the rooftops of neighbors. I would form characters and stories out of all them. Every time I did this, a strong sense of curiosity continually grew inside me.

The pull of that curiosity even got stronger when, in school, in our natural science class, we started to study about the atmosphere, outer space, the planets, the universe and the milky way. Of course, there was also our religion classes, wherein we were taught that the souls of the dead either go to purgatory, to heaven, or, crashing down pitifully enough, to a fiery hell.

With all of this information in my head, my trips to our rooftop got even more frequent. Staring up, I asked the question, "Where could the souls of those billions of people who died ahead of us be in that vast area? Are they housed somewhere out there?"

I want to be atop the world serving the one and only number One. He is God and no other. He is indeed truly omniscient. In our family, we have the impression that seminarians and priests are intelligent. And so, then and there, I resolved to myself to serve God as one of his priests someday.

Heaven is the perfect marriage between science and religion. Long before this modern computer technology age that we live in, with its fiber optic speed, wherein a whole library of books, music, documents, can be safely stored in gigabyte capable microchips, God, the Almighty Father, had already foreseen all of it. It is all too old school for him.

Whereas the human body, made of matter, is bounded by time and space, on the other hand, the soul, a spirit, is free of all these. It cannot be confined in a specific space and place. Therefore, in his infinite intelligence, the Heavenly God, a long time ago, came up with this gigabyte heaven wherein he can receive and store billions upon billions of souls. Like our modern microchips, we don't know exactly the how, the what and the where. But, it is just there working.

Scientific technologists, contrary to what many say about them, have faith in God. They even admire him. Their basic idea of a gigabyte microchip was lifted and copied from God's blueprint of a gigabyte heaven. Before we all came to it, God had everything already in his mind.

Up to this day, whenever I have the time, I still go upstairs to the rooftop where I discovered my calling, my vocation, and continually stare up to the skies, the heavens. And the gigabyte heaven.

Spiritual Commando

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Before, at home, our family had the habit of buying these superhero type of comic books and binding them so that we could always go through them whenever we wanted.

As children, being exposed to stories of super heroes, either in print or on film, how many of us once dreamed of becoming one of them like Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Wonderwoman or Batgirl?

In light of the recent killing of the world's foremost terrorist by a team of Navy SEALs commandoes, I was able to watch a video of their training which left a deep impression and admiration in me as to how only a very few, out of the hundreds, really make it through a very arduous and complicated psychological and physical training. It is not for the weak and faint-hearted. It is exclusively for the strong, in all senses. Seated, in front of the television, how I wish that I could also be as agile and forceful as they.

SEALs, which stands for Sea, Air and Land, are the US Navy's special operation force that has the capacity to operate at sea, in the air and on land. They are carefully trained in all these aspects of combat. They leave no room for error. Rigid attention is given to details. Since they are often involved in tightly critical situations, a slight miscue can mean the life of a colleague, the group, or their very own self.

In our seminary formation, it was repeatedly impressed upon us seminarians that our primary business is the salvation of souls. The motive of all our pastoral activities must be with an eye on this matter. We have to gather the scattered and bring them all back to heaven, our true home. And only then our mission is accomplish.

Our spiritual enemy, the devil, be it at sea, air or land, is everywhere. He appears in many various deceiving forms. It is important 24/7 to be astute and watchful. He is also in the details. We cannot just relax and leave ourselves unguarded. He knows our weaknesses and loopholes. In his armory are an array of temptations that are seemingly harmless but can stop us in on our steps. We must not take the devil lightly. We have to be prepared to defend and, if necessary, make a devastating counter-attack against him. But, how?

We have to pray fervently. Come to church at least a little early, if we can. Plan it out well. Please don't come in late. We have to observe silence and dispose ourselves well before the Blessed Sacrament. Before the mass, while the rosary or novena is being prayed, I, your priest, is in the confessional waiting for the remittance of your sins. You just don't remit money to your families back home. You also have to remit your sins to God in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. God loves to receive our sins, because then he has something to work on and can help better us.

During the celebration of the mass, focus yourself. There will be a hundred and one distractions around. The heat. The smell. The overall surroundings. Participate fully, actively and consciously. Listen to God's Word. Don't resist but just accept it. Suspend first any biases and prejudices that you might have.

Offer yourself. Offer all of your sins, sufferings, failures, joys, triumphs, and successes to God.

Comes communion time, celebrate it with the worthy reception of the Holy Eucharist. Bask in the glory that we are saved. Continually thank him, even if the mass has already ended and everyone has already gone.

With these sacred habits, for sure, the rest of the day and the week will be full of grace and spiritual victories.

The devil must be brought to his knees and flat out defeated. However, only for the meantime. We must ever be vigilant that he is just around the corner, lurking and ready to attack at a moment's notice.

In life, as in any other challenge, things are not done only in one sitting. We need the enduring patience to sustain us. If we have it, and with the presence of God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in our lives, in time, we will all be able spiritual commandoes, ready to defend and strike a paralyzing blow to the enemy.

We cannot be super heroes. They are mere science fiction. We cannot be Navy SEALs. It is an opportunity only offered to some and a selected few. But, we are all children of God. We can be his spiritual commandos if we follow the simple holy prescriptions that I had just given above. As the official SEALs motto says, "Ready to lead. Ready to follow. Never quit."

Home Run

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In the parish where I am, there is a preschool. During the weekdays, from morning until the afternoon, the place is so noisy and occupied. There are the teachers and their pupils, the cleaners, the cook, the parents and guardians coming and going... These people are not home. They come here to work, to learn and leave from home for the night. The next day, they are back at it again, to work, to learn and leave from home... But, I live in here together with the Way, the Truth and the Life; the Blessed Sacrament. In the silence of the night, before the tabernacle with its lamp flickering on, while having my meditation, I tell myself; "I am home!"

"... No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, then you will also know my Father..." (John 14:6-7).

Since becoming a priest, sleeping with a lamp lighted by my bedside has become a habit. From time to time, in the silence of the night, while having my deepest sleep, I usually experience waking up, looking around and asking myself; "Where am I?" I am in bed. In my own room, inside a parish church where the Blessed Sacrament lives alive. I am his priest. Where could I or should I be? "I am home!"

Its nice to be home. How many of us have long dreamed of living, together with our own family, in a place where we work? In the morning, we leave home with hot home-cooked food in our lunch boxes. Then, in the afternoon, we go back home to the warm embrace of our family.

"Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me..." (John 14:11).

On Sundays, since the parish church where I am is strategically located near an industrial park, the place is always full of Catholic migrant workers. They are not home. They are bounded by their contracts. After working a full week, where will they go? Separated by sea, a thousand kilometers away from home, it is, sometimes, a pity that in years to come, only their emails, uploaded pictures, expensive calls and, occasionally, the stuff they bought around here, really reach their family back home. They are not around. They are absent. They are not home.

After the mass in the evening, when everybody has left and the parish church is empty and covered in darkness, I am not left all alone by myself. God is in front of me in the Blessed Sacrament. I am fully covered. I have a companion. I am his priest. I work for him. Where could I or should I be? "I am home !"

Our true home is in heaven. On earth, we just live temporarily, under a contract. When the right time comes, we will make an exit and go to our Father's house where there are many dwelling places that Jesus Christ, himself, assuredly told us are prepared for us. So that, where he is we also may be (see John 14: 2-3).

Let us go to Church and attend mass. God lives there in the Blessed Sacrament and we are his children. Though, we might not know the persons around us, God personally knows us. We are the apple of his eye. Listen to him. Talk to him in prayer. Receive him wholeheartedly in the Eucharist.

With him in our lives, we are in our home court. And so we will be able to accomplish greater things than are expected of us.

Stay with Us

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The biggest prize in any kind of relationship is when the other party tells you, "Stay with us "

There is an integral relationship between the seminary and every seminarian's family. Once a year, there is an open house in the seminary wherein, for a day, during the family day of celebration, the family of each seminarian can come to visit and stay for a night inside his rooms and experience how their son, brother, or relative lives his life inside as he forms himself to be a priest someday. Furthermore, this is also a sort of a vocation campaign, whereby the gift of vocation which a seminarian receives, may continually thrive in his family. The family is the extension of a seminarian's vocation.

The seminary recognizes the reality that, by itself, it is insufficient to form a seminarian. So, through this weekend activity, a strong partnership is formed between the seminary formation and the family. We believe that a good priest does not only have a good seminary formation but, also, a supportive family. "Stay with us."

Whereas he is called to be a priest, the family is also called to spiritually and materially support him from his seminary formation and up to the time when he goes for his public life, the pastoral ministry. A seminarian does not only need prayers so that he preserves his vocation, he needs to stay in the formation and be ordained a priest. Prayers are all the more needed when the seminarian is already an ordained priest. There are more challenges and trials ahead of him. "Stay with us."

It takes a village to raise a child. We have to partner with others to make many things work in our lives. A family, on its own, is insufficient to raise a child. A child needs to earn an education, work, have friends, get into various relationships and, if they decide so, to make things permanent and lasting between them through the Sacrament of Matrimony.

The family must not be so selfish. There are the countless risks. T he child can be hurt... However, the family has to allow the child to go out there and form their own relationships. Be it in school, with their teachers and classmates, at work, with their employers and colleagues, with friends, when they grow fond of each other due to similarity of likes and dislikes in life; they start to bond more. Getting together on weekends, company outings, taking pictures of each other and, whenever there are opportunities, bringing them home and introducitng them to their own individual family and, if they click with them, makeing them a part of the family. "Stay with us."

Our original home, where, for the moment, we are all temporarily away, is heaven. It is our home. However, left to our own devices, as very limited creatures, we cannot go back there successfully. We can think and speculate for the right ways and means. But, how far can we go? For sure, it won't be that far and long.

We need our creator, God, from the very beginning. He is already within us. He does not need any invitation from us to come into our lives. All we just need to do is to acknowledge and accept that we are one in him.

Everyday, God is waiting for us to receive him in many forms; through his words, in the Eucharist, or in the persons of our brothers and sisters. One who cannot accept this very truth is in a state of great denial such that the person could not even accept his own self. Accept yourself. Accept God. Accept others. In this way, we are truly winners. "Stay with us."

Life in His Name

By Father Allan S. Fenix

As there are many faithful who are possessed of a soft heart for God, so are there many who are out to take advantage and abuse him. They illegally exploit God's name to make a living for themselves.

From time to time, we encounter news items about persons passing themselves off as either a priest, a member of a religious community, or as someone representing charitable causes in charge of soliciting funds.

They have all the necessary stuff -- the works -- from the right clerical garb, the habit, the big crucifixes, and the ID's, right down to the prepared scripts and physical movements to make everything look so convincingly true.

"Because many will come in my name and say, 'I am the Messiah,' and they will deceive many people" (Matthew 24:5). The ultimate end is to use the name of God, in order, to make a fast buck -- to fleece people out of their hard earned money. Through the years, many have fallen into this evil scheme, and it won't stop anytime soon as long as there are still vulnerable people who believe in God. Their deep love of God easily makes them acquiesce to any semblance of a financial request in his name.

Thats why there are those baptized Catholics who have not, that often, darkened the doors of the church. They seldomly go to church except on very special and unique occasions, like baptisms, weddings, or funerals, wherein they are really obliged to be present. For them, to be inside the church worshipping God is for weaklings -- sissies. As they say it, "We have to be man enough. We have to be found in watering holes downing gallons of liquor, packs of cigarettes, and enjoying ourselves to our hearts' content..."

"... Don't be unbelieving but believe" (John 20:27). How can we protect ourselves? We have to believe and let God come tower over our lives. Just remember the First of God's commandments. He must be the only one we see and no others. He must be the source of our joy. We have to rejoice in him through the regular reception of the Holy Eucharist. Together with the Holy Spirit in our lives, we will have the experience of an unexplanable inner peace.

The one reason that makes Catholics weak is that we make gods out of many things. We incorporate many of them into our lives. As a consequence, we fail to distinguish properly things that are totally unrelated to God. We get confused. We easily fall prey to those spiritual hackers who are out to maliciously take advantage of us. We become an easy target: A victim.

We have to be alert Catholics. "See, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as cunning as snakes but as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16).

Do away with your various gods and goddesses. Only look up to God. For sure, in time, our doubts, unbeliefs, and superstitions will all vanish into thin air. Because then it will be God -- and only him -- whom we will see.

If...

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In Logic, a sentence that begins with the word " If " is called a hypothetical sentence, which is an idea or suggestion that is based on known facts and is used as a basis for reasoning or further investigation. Assumptions contained in the sentences are not necessary true or real.

I would like to throw out a question. If, in case, God, only for today, granted us the privilege of bringing one dead person back to life, whom would it be for you? Would it be a grandparent who lavished and spoiled you? A parent who really suffered for you? A sibling who oftentimes quarelled with you but, anyway, supported you? A relative... A friend... A benefactor who stuck it out with you, until the very last? Just one.

According to a recent survey, " How to... " books are the best selling books nowadays. People want to have a positive turn around in their lives. We want to do something good. However, this was merely a revenue survey for the business involved. The survey did not mention the level of motivation that it has attributed to the buyer, the reader, to do something good for themselves and others.

Since it discusses something good, I, for one, am also fond of reading "How to... " books. What I have discovered is that good, kept in the mind, is somewhat hard to execute. One will be confronted with a lot of discouraging considerations. However, if it is gradually done, little by little, step by step, it becomes so easy and spontaneous. One good thing will lead to another good and another which can, also, be true, or the contrary.

Charity begins at home. Start in your own backyard. Don't jump the line. In homilies, talks, sharings, we are always reminded to do good. As I've found out, don't think big to start with. For sure, at no time, you will be discouraged and stop. Have a soft launching. Start small and you will get there.

If you are a family person, after loving yourself, love your spouse, your child or, for those blessed with many, children. If you are a child, after loving yourself, love your parents and, if you have any, siblings.

Love, since it is God, has no limit. It is expandable. So, by extension, if they are still around and near, love your grandparents, your relatives... your neighbors, friends, classmates, community, society, church...

Love, taken step by step, will grow. It will be our platform in the resurrection to new life. If we love, surely someone will remember, get back and pick us up. With love, we will no longer rely just on hypothesis. It will all be God who is real and true. He does not forget nor renege in his promise.

Jesus Christ died. However, on the third day, he resurrected. God knows humans have defective short term memory. We easily forget. He does not want us to immediately forget him. So, he was back to life to be with us in no time. He came back to life not only for himself, but for me, for you, for us all. In turn, since we know that we are loved by him, we want to do good. We want to do good because we want to live and, also, we want the people whom we most loved to live also. We want to continuously share with them our love. The dead are already unresponsive. They won't anymore appreciate our love for them. It's too late. We want to do it now while they are still around, alive.

With love, we will not die, rather live forever.

Believe and Worship

By Father Allan S. Fenix

There was a person, who, for lack of sufficient opportunity and support from his family to finish his studies, was pushed to stop going to school and took up comic vending for a living. Everyday, all throughout his life, rain or shine, he go around the city where he lived, selling comic books. He was a comic vendor when he got married and started a family. He was that when he got old, retired, and until he died. On the day he died, someone took over his regular route.

There was a person born into abject poverty in a faraway countryside. Due to distance, education in their place was only up to the primary grades. Upon finishing it, many people in this place, of her age, had nothing more to do but either go to the farm and do back-breaking work, or go to the city and work as housemaids. For her, her parents brought her to the city and put her to work as one. Her parents took out a huge loan from her employer. So, she worked as a housemaid until she got married and started her own family. She that until she got old and, one day, so terribly sick that she could no longer work. The very next day, after she left, another country lass came over to continue where she left off.

There was a person born into a small fishing community. Eversince he learned how to walk on his own, the lure of the sea did never leave him. All of his life, he was always at sea with his fishing net, hooks and lines, fishing. He never stepped inside a classroom or learned of any other alternative trade that he could do aside from fishing. After years of dwindling catch, one day he decided to catch more. So, he did what other fisher folks in their place did - dynamite fishing. From that day on, he became an illegal fisherman and was that until he got married and had a family of his own. One day, an accident happened. The lighted dynamite on his hand blew off even before he threw it on the water. When the fire on his boat got into contact with the other unlighted dynamites, it created more explosions. He survived the tragedy at sea but did so limbless.

For most of us, our background might be totally different from the true-to-life cases that I cited. Financially, we might be well-off. Education-wise, we might even have attended a good school, graduated with flying colors and are now professionally doing a profitable white collar job in some multinational company out there. But, in terms of attitudes in life, we still might be able to fully identify with them.

All of us were born into sin but cleansed in the Sacrament of Baptism and became children of God. However, long after that, when temptations and sins started descending on us, what have we done to correct and better our moral and spiritual lives? Have we ever lifted a finger to pull open the door to the confessional box and make our once-in a-lifetime confession? Some of us just stayed put, stopped going to church, and got contentedly numb. We never made any positive steps to move forward on.

Know well where you stand before making a leap. I know of some baptized persons, who, not knowing well yet our own doctrine and tradition, would suddenly want out of our church. Because, according to them, the way of life in that other sect or religion was more exciting. It made them happier and at peace. And I always advised them that unless they make a positive move for the better, what they are in our mother church, will be similar when they are in their new church, after settling down for sometime.

"' ... Lord, I do believe' and worshiped him." ( John 9:38). All of us have sinned. Unless we mourn, and sacramentally do something about it, and really resolve to be contrite enough to do our penance, nothing will happen. We will be caught up in a very vicious cycle always winding back to the square one of our lives - sinful. But we can do something about it.

As a starter, acknowledge Jesus Christ in our lives. Go to the sacraments, particularly the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and forever remain in the state of grace, all throughout our lives. And, only then, will life change and be really better for all of us.

Life Changing Mountains

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, said, "You cannot step twice into the same stream."

Every summer time, when I was a child, we children would always look forward to the arrival of the travelling carnival wherein, for a few pesos, we could gain entrance and watch their dazzling show of tricks and magic. As children, being so superstitious, then, we were made to believe that they got their magical skills by going up the mountains, specially during the Lenten season. Because it is at this time, according to them, that God becomes so generous and gives away this magic that in our local parlance we call "anting-anting."

Me and my playmates also did it. We really went to the mountains. However, our time under the searing heat of the sun did not gain for us any magic. But, for me, I got something that forever burned inside my heart. It was about the beauty and tranquility of being up on the mountain where I saw the beauty of God's creation. From the bug sounds of the tree crickets, as we passed by its thick set thickets, to the people living there, with whom we interacted; asking them for water or food whenever we felt thirsty or hungry; for a shade when the heat of the noon sun was just too much to bear or when we got caught up in the rain.... Listening to them, maybe due to the considerable time they spent living near nature, living off it, their outlook on life was very much simpler and different from us townspeople or city people. They just had to get hold of whatever they needed for that day. Tomorrow will be another day. Another miracle...

That was the big magic for me. Everyday, life is a miracle. It is different from yesterday and any other day. It changes. We cannot predict it. It will just come by, and all we need to do is to be thankful to God who gave it.

In school, my favorite subjects are the sciences like physiology and natural science. These subjects boosted life wonders in me and my surroundings. I learned how, through the confluence of even the minutest body parts, I move my eyes to open up upon waking from sleep; my muscles, voluntary or involuntary, to make me get up from bed and do my normal functions all throughout the day. I am a miracle wonder myself. Then, there is the rising and setting of the sun, the earth atmosphere which made the flora and fauna all possible, the food that I eat, the waste that I produce...

This is the so-called "fountain of youth." If we continually wonder at the miracles happening to us and all around us, we would forever be young and not grow gray and old. We would stay curious -- and stay young.

Everyday, I am always caught up with all these things. I want to hold on tight to them and never let them go. I am like St. Peter who, together with James and John his brother, were taken by Jesus and led up a high mountain, where he transfigured before them. Seeing all of this, "Peter said to Jesus in reply, 'Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.'" Matthew 17 :4

And, similarly, like the voice from the cloud that said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him" (Matthew 17:5). In faith, I have to listen to Jesus Christ. I cannot selfishly freeze time and keep it for my own self contentment. I really have to learn how to let go of things that I like to hold tightly in my hands. I have to continually change to make things better. I have to repent and believe in the gospel. I have to love and protect nature, so that it will give back something good to me. This is the wonderful miracle of my life. We all have to change for the better to be the best.

Ionosphere

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Long before this ultramodern, electronic, digital form of communication came wherein, in a split second, one can be able to send multiple messages anywhere around the world, there was the primitive method of long distance communication by harnessing nature -- the ionosphere -- which is a part of the earth's atmosphere that reflects radio waves around the earth. Morse Code, which is a character encoding format for transmitting telegraphic information, using standardized sequences of short and long elements to represent the letters, numerals, punctuations and special characters of a given message, is used.

It takes a lot of time and patience to teach oneself the skills on how to operate properly the intricacies of amateur radio. One has to take a number of tests to obtain a government-issued license. One has to study the location, positioning and measurements of putting up an antenna. One has to operate within a certain set of etiquette guidelines... One is not allowed to transmit any obscene or indecent messages. And, much more, messages disrespectful of religion and nationality... We can make friends. But always, at the back of our minds, in case of an emergency, where lives are in danger, we have to immediately put it into service by the transmittal of important information to help deliver the much-needed help and assistance.

Nowadays, it is already an exception not to have these digital gadgets from a multi-featured mobile phone, digital camera, personal computer, laptop... Anybody who has the right amount of money can just purchase this technology at the nearest electronics shop around the corner. However, what is happening to us?

We have abused it. We don't use it properly. We don't maximize its potential. We consume thousands and thousands of phone cards monthly, but what kind of messages are we composing and sending around? A widespread panic even broke out in one country as a result of a spreading text messages warning of an upcoming tidal wave and nuclear fall out! With the amount of money used in spreading these lies, how many sacks of rice and food could be bought to feed the hungry people in the world, or just even in our own neighborhood?

We upload and download trash on the internet. Just look at the kind of pictures and messages found in some social websites, chat rooms, and blogs around today! Some use it to post insulting and destructive messages, inviting not friends but enemies. There is cyberbullying. It might be something new to many of us. But, mind you, a number of young and innocent people have committed suicide as a result of these. There are even group suicide websites...

The number one rule in a gun club say, "Always consider a gun loaded." Words are potent. They are always loaded. Always rethink and reconsider any words that you might want to issue from your mouth. Words that you might want to send. To post. Because it might have immeasurable consequences to yourself and to others later on.

"Many more began to believe in him because of his word... We no longer believe because of your word, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the savior of the world" (John 4:42). These electronic gadgets that we have now are a gift of God. God has given us the wisdom and intellect to be able to come up with them. God wants families and loved ones, separated by distance due to work and for other reasons, to be always united. Use it well to communicate regularly with them to strengthen the family bond. God does not want us to be alone and lonely. He wants us to have friends, a community, a support group... Use it positively to encourage each other. God wants us to increase our knowledge and banish away ignorance. Use it to access educational websites. Most of all, we have to use it to evangelize. To bring the truth and the good news of God to the people, and thus bring people into the true worship of God.

"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshippers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth, and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him" (John 4:23) Be truthful and responsible. We can always bring a lot of graces from God to others and, in the same way, we can bring others to God.

Take Responsdibility

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At home, pasted besides our telephone is a paper wherein it is written, in big bold letters, the numbers to call in any case of emergency like the fire department, the police, the hospital. In life, if we know that we cannot do something well by ourselves, alone, we call on the properly designated professionals that can offer us the best and most appropriate solutions. But, they can only do so much. More is expected from us. We have to do our utmost to look after ourselves and our possessions - lock our doors, maintain our health, avoid fire hazards...

There are some of us who maintain spiritual directors, life coaches, advisers, mentors... with whom we trust well enough to go and ask for council. They can give us the best advice. But, it is we who have to learn how to handle our life and bring it to fruition. Even with our parents, they also have their own lives to live.

Have you been to a "Do-It-Yourself " shop? In there, store attendants can offer one just all the needed materials required to complete any home project that we might want to accomplish. Similarly, with life, one has to know what we want to do, the goal to reach and the needed implements to accomplish it. One must know what to choose, pick up and bring home. Otherwise, we will be going back and forth, exchanging and buying, or piling up unnecessary stuff and wasting so much our own time (and that of others).

Life is the best school teacher. It might hurt once, twice, thrice... or even more. But, it readily offers a lot of very valuable lessons to those who are prepared to learn and won't just give up.

No one wants a clingy person. They don't know what they want, what goal to reach, what to do... To live with one, if one already has had the experience, is just terrible and unbearable. As much as possible, we would like to distance ourselves away from them. Because, like leeches, they siphon off and drain us of our remaining energy and emotional resources.

"... 'Yes' when you mean 'Yes' and 'No' when you mean 'No.' Anything beyond that is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37). We make our own reality. In life, we have to be very creative. We have to learn how live with ourselves and, later on, with others. We cannot forever be dependent children holding to the pants of our fathers or the skirts of our mothers and caregivers. At one time, we have to learn how to let go and face life squarely by taking full responsibility for ourselves and for the consequences of our actions.

Each day is unique with it has equally unique lessons to offer. Face it bravely. Don't run. You can't hide from it. We might miss it today and never return again. But, there is another new one coming tomorrow. It will continually and repeatedly approach us until we learn what to choose rightly and correctly. And, still, even then, another one is coming by in a very shortwhile to test and help us learn our lessons well.

Energy Providers

By Father Allan S. Fenix

"... It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled on by people." (Matthew 5:13). One day, as part of our apostolate, we visited a home for the aged nearby our parish. Personally, occasions such as this, always open my eyes to the hard and concrete reality of life. Going around to each person in each bed in that institution, giving the eucharist, if they are Catholics, or just plainly interacting, exchanging pleasantries with them if they are not, I somewhat felt down rather than relieved to be doing something nice and good for them. Because, in the process of seeing them, in that situation, I also saw myself, one day, one time, in one of those sick beds receiving food, medicines and all the care necessary to still go on with the last remaining moments of my life. In my thoughts, I told myself, "I am just an irrelevant, useless piece of block. What can I still do?"

When I was a child, I overheard someone say that communism is not a good form of government. The old and the sick are summarily executed. For to them, they no longer contribute anything to society. A trash and a big drain to their very limited resources.

" Innovate or die." Living in a fast becoming, very pragmatic and utilitarian-minded world, whereby something is only considered good as long as it is momentarily useful and beneficial, we cannot afford to always quickly give in to the pressures of thinking fast and coming up with ways to respond to many of life's issues confronting us that need immediate solutions. For the sake of these, we sometimes reach the point wherein we compromise our faith, principles and morality altogether. It is because we would like to be accepted as someone relevant. A dependable sidekick who is with the times.

"... Lord, it's good that we're here. If you want, I'll put up three tents here-one for you, one for Moses, one for Elijah." (Matthew 17:4). We cannot just stop and stay put in a life situation we might, one day, good or bad, find ourselves in. We have to go and keep moving on, adapting to the ever changing daily realities around us. We cannot just give up on each other. Along the way, we have to pick and bear each other up until we reach our one common destination - the Heavenly Kingdom of God.

On one of these days, we might already be lying helplessly paralyzed and immobile on our sick beds. Instead of cursing our frustrations on ourselves and others, brewing up in our self pity, if we still have our faith, a clear mind and a rosary and novena devotion in our hands, we can still pray for world peace, for the souls in purgatory, for our family and the commnunity, that they continue doing our unfinished mission... We can still be energy providers, then. And, most of all, we have to pray, when the right moment comes, that God send his choirs of angels to surround, and escort us out, in a peaceful death.

The Leak

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Be careful of the information you keep around in your inboxes, mobile phones, hard drives... somebody might be keeping an eye on it.

In this age of leaks, where confidentiality is fast becoming a misnomer, any data out put, regardless of even how secure it might seem, can be hacked, stolen and put to other uses by people who have nothing good to do with the time they have in their hands. They are appropriately called "hackers." For one, where do those hundreds of spam messages coming in directly to our computers originate from? Yes, for sure, it was through our modern technology. But, still, technology is driven by intelligent humans.

At one time, a national professional board exam in our country was about to be declared null and void due to allegations of widespread leakages. The modus operandi involved a substantial amount of payment from an examinee to a person ready to provide the content of a particular exam much earlier than the test date. In this way, the interested party could go over, sufficiently prepare and pass it with flying colors. There are even those students who have really studied and reviewed hard, but are tempted and pressured to just give in and do away with all the agony connected with the upcoming exam.

Now, lend me your ears. Because I have something here to disclose which I know you will be very interested in. I hope that this is just betweeen the two of us. I don't want this matter to reach anyone's ears.

One day, I had some time in my hands and I was able to access a data of this certain person. It was his baptismal record. The parish priest and the secretary, persons who are solely allowed to view these things were, then, looking the other way. So, I quickly made a peek and got lots of shots of his baptismal data with a digital camera.

And, here is what I got:

Name: Jesus Christ

Legitimacy: Legitimate

Parents: Joseph of the Davidic family and the Blessed Virgin Mary

Date of Birth: Days of King Herod

Place of Birth: Bethlehem of Judea

Home Address: Nazareth of Galilee

Place of Baptism: Jordan River

Date of Baptism: 30 A.D.

Minister: John the Baptist

Stole Fee: Gratis

Godparents: Gaspar, Melchior, Balthasar

Signature: Holy Spirit . " ... This is my Son, whom I love; with whom I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17)

Commentum: A. Baptized for public life

B. Died on the cross. 33 A.D.

For now, this is the only a few tidbits of information that I am able to extract for you about this person. I have gambled my way into it. If you are still willing to pursue this person, please just go and read more about him in the Holy Bible. Just be sure to read only a copy with an IMPRIMATUR in it.

See you !!!

Soft Power

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The other day, I heard in the news that a female suicide bomber caused the death of many. Conventionally, as far as I know, only male persons do this. When did we start hearing that even females are, also, already into doing this?

In school, we were taught that there are two kinds of comfort rooms; one for the boys and the other for the girls. While the door of the former is always open and, sometimes, dirty, the door of the latter is closed, which created a lot of curiosity in us boys, as to just how different was it to ours.

We grew up with a lot of stereotypes in our minds. In books, we learned that men of earlier times were raised to be hardened warriors, ready to take risks for the family and country. He is a good material provider. He is often out there hunting for food; defending the family from danger; joining expeditions; dying for a cause. So, in society, we expect them to be the political and business leaders, law enforcers, judges, farmers, laborers, fisherfolks. On the other hand, females are raised to take good care of the domestic things. To bring forth and raise up children for the family. To clean, to cook and to wait on for their husbands. In society, they are expected to take on professions such as teaching, nursing, caregiving, cleaning. They are oftentimes exploited by big businesses as merely the source of aesthetics to promote profits. They are found on magazine covers in all sorts of dress and undress. They are a sought-after pawn in the global beauty pageants and in the entertainment business. And a mainstay in the oldest profession.

But, borders have now been crossed. It has all come down and vanished. In recent times, there have been a lot of rapid changes going on around us, and I just found myself often checking out the word "USED" to get my thoughts in order. We have to alter our frame of mind.

Bikini brief. People have fought for equality and slowly won. Education is more diffused for both sides. Both already have gained similar competitive edges. Everyone is now on an equal footing and wearing long pants. Everything is becoming unisex. Just as a man can now be a flight steward, a beautician, an entertainer, a woman can now also be a doctor, an engineer, a construction worker, or a bus driver. In fact, we now have the so-called "houseband" - a husband who has to stay at home and take good care of the children while his wife works outside to earn for the family.

The Blessed Virgin Mary should be the model of the modern woman. Well accomplished yet humble. From a teacher, I learned that in the success or failure of every man is a woman. Sometimes, I have this weird thought wherein all women make a concerted protest effort by refusing to give birth. What would be the future of the entire human race?

We Catholics are truly very fortunate to have the Blessed Virgin Mary who, "...continued to treasure all these things in her heart and to ponder them." (Luke 2: 19). May every man and woman be like the Blessed Virgin Mary. Like her, may we all only bring forth life that will lasts and not death. Death can be a triumph to a life well lived. But, it is losers who deliberately will it upon themselves and others.

Next Available Flight

By Father Allan S. Fenix

"There is an appointed time for everything. And, there is a time for every event under heaven-- a time to give birth and a time to die..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2).

We only live for awhile. Children live for their next birthday... or next Christmas so as to receive gifts from their parents, godparents, family, lovedones. Parents live for next year when, one by one, their children either start or graduate from school. So that they, in turn, can soon retire and enjoy the remaining time they still have in their lives. Newly wedded couples live for their next anniversary to renew their lifetime commitment to each other. Students and workers live for the coming weekend, coming payday, coming long vacation so as to rest, catch up on badly needed sleep, or relax and simply do nothing for awhile. Prisoners, doing time, live for next Christmas when the parole board usually grants pardon. This goes the same for our overseas migrant workers, who have to wait for their contracts to finish. Once done, at least for awhile, they can be home with their families. Then, again, plan for their next move. Patients, especially those confined in the hospital intensive care unit, live for the next second, next minute, next hour, day, week, month or even year to have back their health and life.

We only live for awhile. There are many things that we want to do and achieve in our lives, which, considering our very limited time and resources, can't be successfully accomplished in just one sitting or overnight. But, by just staying focused and doing each thing, one at at time, will bring us far and takes us wide.

Wile away your time by beginning everything under the inspiration of God. Soon, you will gladly see that all of your dreams and plans will reach their rightful and happy conclusions.

We still have the next several seconds, minutes, hours all available and waiting for us. Lets use this time as our take off point to reach out to our neighbors and to God. "Now Mary arose in those days and went into the hill country with haste, to a city of Judah, and entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth." (Luke 1:39-40).

24/7 Power Service

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In our place, the local electric cooperative is always under fire. As a result of their poor service delivery to the community, and because of the bonuses that its executives receive and the cars they drive, it is accused of many derogatory things.

For us, Filipinos, brownouts are normal. It is a daily part of our lives. Something regular and normal. We get so much used to it that we start pining for it whenever we are confronted by a number of days of uninterrupted electric supply. For us, it is something out of the ordinary. Unexpected. An abnormal situation. Even, a miracle.

After living in a certain place for quite sometime, with its streets and homes brightly lit during the night, I immediately told the people there how fortunate they are to be living in a society that is not suffering any brownouts. For them, this observation of mine might just be too inconsequential. In their lives, something disregarded. For to them, electricity is something basic and a de rigueur that should always be present.

All of us are rich. For each of us owns an electric company inside us. We Christians, like St. John the Baptist, are the light of the world. "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16).

Doing good should be something automatic to each Christian. An involuntary act. It's not something abnormal to be ashamed of: We keep our lamps well lighted whenever we do good deeds. We do these not to impress other people into thinking that, as compared to them, we are doing something exemplary. From the perspective of faith, we are well-off. We do it to give witness to our faith in Jesus Christ, who first and foremost showed us the example by his dying up on the cross for our salvation.

"... I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12). God is the true light. All of us, out here, are just partaking and sharing in that light when we do our part in raising the banner of our faith, so that others might be able to see it and so imitate us.

We all want to be flattered. As the saying goes, "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery." And so, for us Christians, we will sure be flattered when others start imitating not our bad works, but our good works. By then, we will all, indeed, be rich and fortunate. Because our electric companies have the power to give light 24/7.

Let your light shine!

Took Mary Home as His Wife

By Father Allan S. Fenix

For people, who plan to marry and start a family, having a house of their own is a big consideration. An ever-looming priority. Living in with one's own family is an option. But not a good one, in the long term. Everyone wants to be independent. To live in a house they can call their own.

Shelter is a basic need. Some pay the bank a monthly mortgage for it. Some, whenever there is an extra amount of money left, after having paid all the monthly dues, buy, here and there, a piece of steel bar, a sack of cement or whatever; that is necessary towards the completion of the project. And some, those who are just renting out, squatting on other's properties, or are living anywhere they find themselves and are incapacitated to do something different, just can't do anything but dream of one day owning their own house to live in.

Owning one's house; beautifying it; maintaining it - is a lifetime project. Being a broken home, having to divide and sell one's house, as a result of inability to pay a mountain of debts, or family separation due to irreconciliable differences among the spouses and other causes, is one such bitter tragedy that could befall a family. It is unimaginable for one to go through it.

We have a popular saying that the house of a carpenter is a wreck. But, it is not so in the case of St. Joseph, the husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is a hardworking carpenter. He used his mind and the body that God gave him to work hard not only for himself, but for his future family. Just as he helped build others their houses, he also did not neglect to build one for the future home of his family. He built a home to house the Emmanuel. So that God will always be with us.

As a person, he has a face to show to other people. "I own my house." As a carpenter, he has this kind of pride of owning the house he lives in from the sweat of his brow. Its not ill-gotten.

"... took Mary home as his wife." Matthew 1:24. The house that St. Joseph built for Jesus Christ was the platform by which he was able to step into his public life and, eventually, ending it bloodily on a wooden cross for our salvation. Without the house that St. Joseph built, where would Jesus Christ get all of his strength and energy to teach, to pardon, to console and to bless... to die on the cross.

Do you own the house where your family lives? Then, congratulations. Like Jesus Christ there are many good things that you can do... finish school, serve the Church and the community, or make oneself available as an offering.

If you don't yet own the house your family lives in, don't get discouraged. You are on your way. Like St. Joseph work hard. Save. Prioritize. Remember, God will always help those who first help themselves.

The One Thing in Mind

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Presently, on my left hand is a mobile phone and I am texting someone. My right hand is busy with the computer mouse as I play video games. Headphones are stuck into my ears as I listen to the latest downloaded tunes on my MP3. My eyes, once in a while, go over to the television set nearby to see what is now happening on my favorite program. I am also eating my meal, which I missed a few hours ago. Nearby is a radio dishing out the latest news from somewhere. My feet are itchy for want of movement to exercise...

Life then, during our grandparents' and parents' time, was so simple. It didin't take much to make them content. Because, back then, only a few stimuli vyed for their precious attention. People, then, only concerned themselves with getting enough education to be able to work and settle down with a family of their own. Unlike now, whereby a thousand and one distractions are available in every corner, ready to move us off track from what we are presently doing.

Progress is good. There are more options now than ever. Life is easier and convenient. However, it is overdone. The world of commerce does not have the word "let up" in its vocabulary. It has no end point, to speak of: It just keeps on increasing, uping its ante. It might close down today. But tomorrow, it will open up to a brand new name. It's running creed is, "Get there on top, or just get out of the way."

"... You cannot serve both God and money " (Matthew 6:24). We might receive lots of pressure from our family, friends, and the environment to go and get more. But no two-timer, please. Only God suffices. Just be humble. Because he, who is will, in the end, be the one to rejoice. The goal of our lives is to live in rejoicing over possessing the one thing that is most necessary: God, the Almighty Father.

Let us make a grand audit of our lives. Always say this to ourselves that, "I am a Christian and God is the only thing that I need to be happy." Because with him, "The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor" (Matthew 11:5).

Live to Tell the Tale

By Father Allan S. Fenix

" ... And they live happily ever after... " I used to think that kings and queens were only bedtime fairytale stuff for kids as found in the movies or story books.

I once had this rare opportunity to travel to a nearby country, which is just a carbon copy of our own. But, while in our country, people flock to churches and shrines to worship on Sundays. There, people go to temples and palaces to give respect to their king. There, they believe that their king is much different from them. They believe that their king is a direct descendant of a family whose lineage traces back its roots to a certain god who came down from heaven. From the airport to just about anywhere, framed pictures of their king are found conspicuously hanging.

Temples and palaces... Different from them...

Bloody and seemingly defeated, we believe in a God who rules from atop a wooden cross promising us paradise. "Jesus answered him, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.'" (Luke 23:43). Each one of us might have our his or her own idea of a paradise. For some, it might be living together with our family and with our friends in a very peaceful country, with a stable well paying job. For some, it might be the healing from a long chronic illness. Success in ones chosen career. Freedom from addiction, financial woes... However, the paradise that our God offers us is more than all these. It is bringing us back to the pure state as it was with our first parents, Adam and Eve. It is the freedom from any pain, hunger and death. An everlasting happiness of living with him in his heavenly kingdom.

God is different from us. He is the almightly creator, while we are his creatures. But, He is with us. He is not a God separated far away from us living somewhere in a gated community. He is the Emmanuel - "God is with us." He is with us through the Church and the Sacraments. He is in us through the Sacrament of Baptism when He made our body as His temple. He is with us, body and blood, everytime the Sacrament of the Eucharist is celebrated. His mercy is with us everytime we receive the forgiveness of our sins whenever we go for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. His saving grace is with us everytime we are healed of our spiritual sickness in the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and Dying.

Indeed, we, the people of the faith, will live to tell the tale and be happy about it. Because we have a God who is the King of the universe. The King of kings. The King who is to come in the final days.

Calendar

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I want to hold on to time tightly. I don't want to let it end.

There are some people who love to collect calendars. Usually, when the year is about to end, it becomes their habitual obsession to go around from store to store, establisment upon establishment, requesting them. With their colorful designs and displays, they plaster them around the walls and corners of their houses, not only to remind them of the year, the month, the week, and the day, but to decorate and beautify. Year upon year comes and goes, and they don't take them down. They justt remain there until the time a strong flood of water or a typhoon claims them all.

Before, at this point of the year, I felt so excited thinking of the upcoming events; the parties, the vacation, the reunions, the gifts... Everytime the year ends. But now, unless it is necessary, I , for one, don't like to be looking at calendars and calculating month by month, week by week, day by day, as it slides down to its end. For me, everytime a year, a month, or a day ends it is a date nearer to my mortality - my death.

I do my best to be strong. I want to live a long and meaningful life. I watch my diet and exercise. I pray and focus only on positive thoughts. I Try to do a good deed a day. I don't want to see the face of death. For, I fear its looming presence in my life. Confronted with death, I feel so uncomfortable.

Life, with all its trials and tribulations, remains very challenging for me. And, I want to go with it whereever it might take me. But, amidst all of these, there is no denying that I - that we - all have to die one day. We all have to face our own death bravely at some point in time.

Before, whenever there was an upcoming retreat or recollection, we would always remind retreatants to make immediate and mediate preparations prior to the activity. Mediate preparation is done several days ahead, long before the event, while immediate preparation is done on the day itself.

Today, at this time, is our time for mediate preparation. We still have a number of days to prepare ourselves. We must not procrastinate. Let us look at our relationship with our God and with our family and loved ones. How is it? It is said that the kind of relationship we have with them is also the kind of running relationship we have with our God. The way we treat them is the way we treat our God.

Nowadays, we are into a lot of modern communication technologies. More than ever, through text messages, videos, and pictures it is much easier than ever to communicate with everybody. Our human relationships must be on the high nines. But, on the other hand, prayer remains the same. It is not affected by any development in technology. It remains to be the old fashion of talking with God, as it has been in the past and will be so for the next thousand years. With our Bible, we put ourselves in silence and pray. We listen. Then, on a Sunday, we go out and gather, as a community, to celebrate the Eucharist.

If we have it easy with our mediate preparation, each day will be for us an immediate preparation. Together with our family, loved ones and friends, perhaps, if they have enough time to spend, and with our strong faith in God, we can wholeheartedly face the small deaths that daily comes our way. And one day, a definite time will come when we have to put down our calendar and surrender it back to God.

I want to hold on to time tightly. I don't want to let it end. But with God in me, it will not be painful. And so, I can easily let go.

More From God

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The refrain to the "Hosea" hymn says, "Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life."

We believe in the saying that " two heads are better than one." Except for some, nobody wants to feel left alone, in the dark, by themselves. We always want to feel secure. So, we make friends. We maximize the usefulness of the modern technologies in our lives. We network. We form communities and associations. People get married. Perpetuate the family line. But, inspite of all these well meaning efforts and initiatives, there is still the continual feeling of inadequacy gnawing deep within us. So, we seek and clamor for more. There must be more to all of this. What more is out there?

Maybe, if it were not for pressures coming from the family, friends or environment, no one would trouble him or her self in going back, Sunday after Sunday in our lives, if he or she didn't believe and were not convinced that God is truly with us in the Eucharist.

We have to pray more and do a lot of self-examination. Because many believers, after sometime along the way, cannot see any strong connection between their lives and the Eucharist and simply cease nurturing their faith. They cannot hold on to the faith for long. T hey cease going out on a Sunday just to go to church. They accept watered-down belief which will suit their lifestyles and whereby it will be something comfortable for them. But it does not promise any life hereafter. It merely promise a life herein.

Like the biblical Jonah, we try to run away from God. We change many things in our lives. We try on many innovative things. We change our belief, our careers, our lifestyles, our friends, our family. But, how long is it before we realize that these things are open-ended? These things with which we expect satisfaction are in themselves very inadequate. These things are very insufficient to fill us. It always leads to death: Death of relationships. Death of progress. Death of continuity. Where will we go next?

Only God can fill us. "... he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive." (Luke 20:38). People, who spend an hour or two just staring at the Eucharist in our Perpetual Adoration Chapels, or those who endure an hour-long Eucharistic celebrations or vigils and prayer meetings, are not lazy, nor have nothing much else important to do, nor have very limited choices. Be free to say anything more about them. Rather, they knew all of these things but chose the best of the lot - God, the one who will give them the life that will most satisfy them.

With God, no one is left alone in the dark. Because with him, "They can no longer die, for they are like angels; and they are the children of God because they are the ones who will rise." ( Luke 20:36).

Be the Judge

By Father Allan S. Fenix

There is a story about two believers. The first, since he came from a believing family, received the faith as a child. While the second, after going through all the ups and downs of life, found the right way, changed his life for the better and received the faith, very much later in life. The first believer, since it was a received faith for him, was very relaxed in living his faith. A happy-go-lucky type of believer. Carefree. He practices his faith the way he feels and likes it. In the end, someone was able to convince him to proselytize and he got baptized in another faith, very different from that of his family. While on the other hand, the second believer, knowing the difficulty in the way he got hold of his faith, tried to be conscious of, and live his faith, everday of his life. His faith had been a moving element in his life. He had paid a great price for it. And so, he prized it much. He served and shared his faith.

There is a story about two migrant workers. The first went to work abroad and exhausted the maximum number of years that he is allowed to work in that country. He has his plans for the future. But knowing that he is allowed to stay and work in that country for quite some time, he just took his time lightly. Once in a while, he felt lonely and wanted to make a lot of friends. So, he would spend a part of his hard earned money together with his buddies, drinking and having a good time. Giving in to the pleasures that life can offer them in that place. Experiencing what is it to be in another country, other than one's own. Of course, every payday, he sent in an amount that would enable his family to live decently back home. From time to time, he, also, sent a box full of goodies for them.

When he went home, his townmates and family were very much proud of him. He got a new two-storie concrete house filled up with the conveniences of modern life. But, on the other hand, he was a stranger to his own family. His children recognized him only as the monthly money sender. A spring of money from somewhere. His wife also told him that they were much better off when he is away working in order to pay the loans and mortgages that they have accumulated, brought about by the construction of their new hourse, the purchase of the new sala, dining, bedroom sets asnd so on. So, after just a few months of vacation, he was on his way again to another country, now much farther away from the first one he went to. He worked all throughout his life. Until, one day, he realized that he was able to establish another new family. Meanwhile, for his original family? No problem. He continued to send their monthly subsidy that enabled them to live a decent life and, from time to time, still sent a box full of goodies for them. They are happy without him and, likewise, he without them.

On the other hand, there was the second migrant worker. Not wanting to be absent for a long time from his family, before leaving them, he managed to strike up a plan with a tentative timeframe for them. He stayed and worked in the country for the least allowable number of years. Normally, he encountered what any migrants, like him, underwent, like loneliness, temptations, and depressions. But, everytime he experienced it, he always got back to his plans and goals that he had with his family back home. After his contract was up, he packed up his things and went home to the loving embrace of his family. Debt-free. Slowly, he implemented whatever plans they had made. Living simply, they were able to live a happy life together.

The believers... The migrant workers... There are many similar circumstances in life . Who is good or better? You be the judge.

Speedy Delivery

By Father Allan S. Fenix

"Nowadays, communication is a breeze. So easy and convenient. In the palm of one's hand, one can immediately compose a message and press send. And, in a very shortwhile, receive a quick response. Whereas compared to the past, it used to be that whenever one wanted to communicate using the phone to call long distance or overseas, one had to travel far to the next town or nearest city to do it. Almost a day or two is devoted just for it.

In the past, weekends are solely for entertainment - the movies. During those times, we had to bring our own snacks. There was quite a ceremony for this. In the morning, a part of it was spent preparing whatever we were going to bring to the movies - it might be a juice drink, a sandwich or crackers. It might rain, so, we had to bring an umbrella or raincoats with us. But, nowadays, there is home entertainment. What more need is there to go out? In metropolitan places, they have these self-contained places wherein people, inside that one venue safe from any pollutants, sun or rain, can entertain themselves, feed themselves, groom themselves, buy whatever they need or want and, waiting for them in line, have a ride back home.

However, inspite of all these conveniences that our modern lifestyle has afforded us, are we now praying more, lesser and lesser, or has nothing seemed to have change with us?

"Time moves fast and its getting faster." I often hear many people say it. Is time really changing? Is it different from yesterday to today? Actually, it is not changing. It is always the same. It seems to change because, in time, we have added more time-consuming objects into our lives. It used to be that the altar of the Sacred Heart of Jesus or of the Blessed Virgin Mary were the centerpiece in our homes. But now, vying for our precious attentions are the widescreen plasma television sets, a computer, a stereo... All of these are begging and inviting us to "COME, PLEASE USE ME." It used to be that our closets contained only the minimum - a copy of the Holy Bible, a novena or a chaplet, a rosary. But now, crowding it is our high-end mobile phones or a digital camera, invested with several thousand amounts of money, and which contain a hundred or thousand pictures taken from a weekend full of fun and happenings ready to be uploaded. Usually, we take out the Holy Bible, the novena, the chaplet, the rosary from the closet and put inside these expensive gadgets for fear of loss or pilferage.

In the seminary, we were taught that as long as we didn't get attached so that it reached a point whereby it was ruling us, it was not bad to own a lot of stuff. But we have to be detach. We have to use this stuff of ours to evangelize, to catechize, to win souls for heaven.

For many, possessing a number of things like those i just mentioned is a sign of progress - the fruits of our labors. Go on and have it. But, remember, these things must not rule over our lives. We must not be too attached but, rather, detached. It must not lessen our prayer time. But, rather, it must enhance it. Texts and pictures, depending on our own creativity and imagination, can be used to evangelize, catechize and win souls for heaven. As the scriptures say: "Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily" (Luke 18: 7).

Don't commit the mistake of making the wrong choice. Choose what is Bigger. Better. Permanent. Choose God.

Bigger. Better. Permanent.

By Father Allan S. Fenix

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26

For some, giving up one's personal freedom for someone or something is just unimaginable. When I decided to enter the seminary, I agreed to be limited. Limited in many ways, like going off of the premises only with the proper permission for a few hours or days. Limited use, then, of newspapers, radio, television and, of late, mobile phones. The seminary, practically, became our home - our family. We subjected ourselves to a rudimentary kind of lifestyle. There is a definite time to rise up from sleep. And for community activities like prayers, music practice, classes, cleaning and gardening, games, and study periods. Lights are put off at a certain time of the night, and everyone is expected to be in their individually assigned beds.

At first, this kind of routine was easy. But, in time, as we went on with the formation, it became increasingly difficult for many. For them, they later found out, this giving up of one's personal freedom for the sake of the community is something not that easy and simple. So, there were some violations. Some escaped or went out without proper permission. Some rebelled by smuggling in non permissible items like liquor and cigarettes. And some simply gave up on the formation. For to them, it was too much. "It is not for me," as I heard many of them say.

We have our own grandiose ambitions and plans in life. No one wants to be categorized as small time for the rest of one's life. Deep within us, all of us aim for what is bigger, better and permanent. We wont stop until we approach it and, if possible, possess it. If one is an ordinary rank and file employee, one would wants to be the business owner or office manager. A novice would someday like to be a professional. As much as possible, we want to be on the other side of the fence. To be different from what we are now or have found ourselves to be.

We are God's creatures. We are his disciples. By being one, at a glance, we might, as thought, have limited ourselves only for him. But, in truth and in fact, we have opened ourselves to something bigger, better and permanent. God is not subject to change. He is forever. He is good. All things come from him. He is just everywhere. For, he is omnipresent.

We cannot see God with our bare eyes. So, we have to pray as much. Participate in community activities. We have to be present and find him in our lives. Or else, we might try to find him in some other avenues which might not be very encouraging to our present situation.

Isolating oneself is of no use. It is a sin, for it is of the devil. The devil would like us to be in the dark. To be not in the know. He wants to increase hate in us, so that we would not know love. He wants us to be selfish so that we won't know service. The devil, himself , said, "NON SERVIAM!!" ( I will not serve ).

Don't commit the mistake of making the wrong choice. Choose what is Bigger. Better. Permanent. Choose God.

That Old Self

By Father Allan S. Fenix

While the new is attractive and fragrant, nothing can replace the old. For the old is classic. It is the original.

For my college graduation gift, my family gave me a diver's watch. It was the kind that was so in vogue then. In two years time, it got lost. I cannot forget it. For it was mine and given to me at a very momentous time in my life.

Many years have passed since I lost my watch. Nearby our parish church is a watch store. Everytime I pass through it, I make it a point to stop by and look at the various watches on display. I don't know, but everytime I do this, amidst those newer and modern models of watches, it is as if I still keep on looking for my old lost watch. For me, no amount of watches can replace it. For with it goes the happiness that I felt the day I graduated from college, with my whole family in attendance, and that watch on my left wrist.

From our town and playmates, classmates, teachers, colleagues... all of us know people in our lives. Everytime we meet them, during reunions and other special occasions, by now they might be dressed very differently from us, driving expensive cars, etc. We always look for the old person as we came to know them. If they come across as different, we will immediately say that they have changed. It is good if the change that happened is for the better. But, what if it is for the worse?

We have known good people in our lives, whom we have lost through vices like drug addiction, and other forms of addiction. We say that the person is not anymore the person who we knew back then. We wish that they would get well and we would get back their old usual self.

God loves the old. No matter what we do. No matter how far we flee from him. He will always and surely find us and bring us back. In death, he takes back the life he deposited in the human body. One by one, when the appropriate time comes, he will do this. So, in death, what is left of us is merely a corpse - the material component. In their wakes, in front of their coffins buried in flowers and accolades, we just sit by and talk about the old person who has gone before us. The person whom we lost through death and is now found at the bosom of our Heavenly Father.

I just recently met a person who upon knowing that I am a Catholic told me that I belong to the old church. We live in the modern age. New things come and confront us. We, then, take and exchange it for the old ones. For a time, we will put the old in the back draft of our lives. But, in time, it will come back to find and take possession of us. GOD is the GOD of the OLD, the NEW and the FUTURE.

Dog-Eared Bible

By Father Allan S. Fenix

When was the last time you read a good book?

Before, to passthe time, I used to borrow and read novels. It was a good way to develop one's english comprehension and grammar. But, in time, I came to a point where I outgrew it. I discovered that story lines contain almost the same run of events. Only the titles, authors and covers differ. Reading one or two will give one the idea of its entirety.

Next, I tried my hand at reading the world's best selling book of all time, the Sacred Scriptures, the Bible. During our seminary formation, we were encouraged to at least be able to read the entire volume of the Scriptures. But, during those times, another new thing always seemed to come along which absorbed much of my attention and interest. So the reading of the Sacred Scriptures is always put off for a MUCH MUCH later time. It was only while in the ministry now that I really got serious about reading it. I paid much attention to each word to help me pray and give me guidance that I needed in my day to day life.

If in the past, it was all about cursory readings and disposing of what I just read, now it was holding on tight to each word of the Scriptures. This is life for me. Reading the Scripture brings me to a much deeper reality within myself and, at the same time, brings me out on the surface to see my surroundings in a much clearer picture. Reading it seems to make me feel as though I cannot get enough: Unlike before when I was still reading novels where after going through it, it was just tossed aside, disposed of never to be seen again. Anyway, another new one will be coming by soon. But, the Sacred Scriptures stay. It lingers unflinchingly in my life. One cannot get enough of it. It is like the ever delicious ice cream or chocolate inside the fridge that one cannot resist going back and forth to all throughout the day.

The Bible predates all of our modern portable gizmos. Long before they came up with the idea of a portable radio, mobile phone, or laptop, the bible was already a vast library in itself that one could carry around. It is self contained. It offers the reader a variety of genres to choose from. I used to envy a person who had a library filled up with books. I tell myself that he must be a very intelligent guy. But all of my enviousness quickly dissipated when I discovered the wonder and mystery of reading the Bible. With its 73 books - 46 in the Old Testament and 27 in the New Testament - I have a tome with me. I have enough books to read to last me for a lifetime.

As Catholics, we grew up unfamiliar with the Bible. So, developing the habit takes awhile. But, once one gets the hang of it, it's a downhill slide from there. This goes the same way with the Sacred Scriptures. A chapter and a verse here and there for a day will be a good start. If one gets tired reading, stop and rest. Wait for another inspiring moment. Soon, I tell you, everything will be in a smooth flowing mode. Reading the bible will just come easy. We will put off everything just to read it. We will leave everything behind just to get hold of it.

Seats, Bleachers, Pews

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Economy class plane seats, which have less elbow and leg room, and where a majority of passengers prefer to travel, are much cheaper in price than the business class seats. Because of this the latter have more services than the former. This goes the same way in the ballgames and theaters where so-called "ringside" and front row seats are more expensive than the bleachers. The principle operative in this matter is that the farther the seat is from the field or stage, the cheaper it is.

In Church, where pew spaces have no price, seldom do I see parishioners taking advantage of the seats up in front near the altar. Usually, parishioners tend to leave the front row pews empty and just content themselves to converge at the back rows. Some even manage to punish their feet by just standing all throughout the celebration, though empty and spacious pews are available right in front.

One time, after the recessional procession, I stood by the back of the Church and talked with some parishioners about this. They told me that they feel so unworthy to stroll up in front of the Church, before everyone in the community, and be seated on those empty leftover pews. More so, by being seated there, it is as if they are at the center of everything. They feel as though they are being closely scrutinize in whatever they are doing, wearing, or with whom they are associated. So, they prefer to be unseen and anonymous, seated or just standing by at the back rows. And when the mass is over, they can easily slip out of the Church and go and do wherever and whatever they want to.

The mass is a once a week celebration. It is a great feast that we anticipate and prepare ourselves to be into. Yes, we might feel so conscious in the presence of so many parishioners. Some of whom we know and some who are unfamiliar. They have eyes, let them look. They have mouths, let them speak. Ears, let them listen. But, what is most important for you? We did not go to Church for them. We went to church to give praise and thanks to God.

We are the children of God. We are rich. We were saved for a great price. Let us not cheapen ourselves. Sin is the cheapening of ourselves, for we cut off and move far back in our relationship with our God.

On the Lord's day, when we are in Church, not only physically but, also, spiritually, let us be near Him, who is the One true God, by being always in the state of grace and by receiving him in Holy Communion.

Prepare for the Unexpected

By Father Allan S. Fenix

While in school, I still remember a subject teacher who, whenever we asked her, "What will be on our upcoming examination?" Always answered us to, "Prepare for the worst."

In any bar or board exam results that I have viewed, never have there been more passers than flunkers. It is almost and always the other way around. There are more than half flunkers.

The next discussion usually dwells on the factors as to why they passed or failed. There is the academic standard of the school and its facilities... The preparation time... The individual student...

All of us have once been students and we all know these matters. We have experienced that after studying so hard - burning the midnight oil - we have obtained a certain coverage of the subject. But when the examination time comes nothing or only a few question where taken from the material studied. Mostly, the items which appeared in the exams were the things we haven't prepared ourselves for well. We always say that we are caught unprepared and start looking for someone or something to direct our blame at.

If there is a demand, there will be a market. As there are many people who want to know what will it be for them in the coming days, so there are many psychics, fortunetellers, etc., who are doing good business.

Many of us believe in the importance of education in our lives. In school, we were encouraged to study for life and not for grades. Grades are really very important. But, more than that, we have to see beyond what is being implanted in us. We need to retain something that we can carry and apply for the rest of our lives.

Education, for me, taught me how to see things. Approach it. Deal with it properly and, in the process, bring it to its proper conclusion.

There is no short cut to education. Cheating is a grave offense punishable by the expulsion of a student. And so, likewise, with spirituality.

If one wants to, one can find a way. Be it in the morning, afternoon or evening. In spirituality, we really have to find the time to pray. We have to find the patience in doing it. It is while we are praying when a lot of distractions and temptations start coming. We feel tired, sleepy, pain and itchy somewhere, thirsty.... We have to overcome it all so as to continue focusing on our prayer.

We have to have the habit. Praying is not only for a semester or two. It is life, itself. If at the start, we don't have it and don't try at all to develop it, in the end, we will not really have anything. If we see a person praying, we might just pass by and ignore them or ask ourself, "What are they doing?"

Everyday, we try to be predictable with our lives. We try to put order in it by making schedules. But, inspite of all these, many unexpected things cross our paths. We have to pray to prepare ourselves. So that, when the time comes, we wont ask the question, "Lord, will only a few people be saved?" (Luke 13:23).

We invest a lot of time, money and strength in gaining a good education to prepare ourselves in society. And so, much more, we have to do the same thing with our spirituality to prepare ourselves for heaven. May we all belong with the saved because we have prayed well: We have prepared.

Lifetime Membership

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At the library, there is a reminder to all borrowers: "PLEASE RETURN ALL BORROWED BOOKS ON TIME."

There is a particular business strategy called Lifetime Membership, in which, for a certain amount of single payment a bit higher than the regular annual membership fee to a club or group, a member can enjoy all of the privileges it can offer, for as long as the person is alive. But, with the business climate constantly changing, some merging with other businesses, some being acquired, going bankrupt and just closing shop, the business strategy of having lifetime membership is fast becoming a misnomer.

In our society today, with the many distractions vying for our precious attention, families getting broken everywhere, people proselytizing from one faith to another... under all of these circumstances, it leads us to ask the question, "Is a lifetime commitment still possible nowadays?"

Many people shun the Church for, to them, is is too conservative. But, amidst all of these, the Church, having withstood the test of time, is the sole institution that still has something to offer society - stability.

Our God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, is eternal. Therefore, the Church, and the Sacraments that God established, are all forever. Baptism instills in us an indelible mark. A good confession erases all of our past sins. The Eucharist is the real presence of the body and blood of Jesus Christ. The priesthood is forever. "You are a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek" (Hebrew 7:17). Only death ends the matrimonial bond. "For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish, until death do us part..."

And so, with the Blessed Virgin Mary, a person like us except without sin, who was given the extraordinary privilege of being the mother of God and being assumed into heaven, body and soul. This is her lifetime privilege. God had paid for her dues.

We, the baptized, possess a lifetime membership in our Church. Jesus Christ, by his death on the cross, has already paid for all of us: before, now and after - a lifetime membership. This lifetime membership that he has earned for us is not subject to any dissolution, bankruptcy nor foreclosures and the like. We are already assured of our own place in heaven. "There is more than enough rooms in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?" (John 14:2).

The tie that binds us will only be severed and forfeited if we continually hold on to our unrepented sins. Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is sinless, let us also be spotless, and, in whatever way we can, be like her. For heaven awaits everyone who tries to be one such as this. And, hell to one who does not even try to be one such as this. We are all from heaven. We only live on borrowed time here on earth. It is but apt that we all turn back towards where we came from, and, just like what the library sign says, "RETURN ALL BORROWED MATERIALS ON TIME."

Neighbors

By Father Allan S. Fenix

If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed, but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?" (James 2:16).

In the rural town where we grew up, we almost and always knew who are neighbors were. Some parents were the godparents of one or two of my siblings, whose children are, in turn, either the baptismal or wedding godchildren of our parents. We were so happy. Irrespective of our ages, we consider each other as playmates. We got invited to each other's simple birthday parties. We would go on excursions together...

When some of my siblings started living in a metropolitan place for higher studies, we discovered that people don't know who their neighbors are. We were told to mind our own business and not to be a bother to any of them. For, we did not know where they came from and, good or bad, what they were doing. Thats how the neighborly system works in this place. PERIOD.

In this manner, life was peaceful. We pursued our own individual interests and concerns. But, sometimes, it became very boring. We always yearned for the old and familiar neighborly atmosphere we all grew up in.

This is one of the reasons why I decided to enter the seminary. I told myself that I want to live in a place where I practically knew everyone. We have a big open dormitory where beds are lined up in two flowing rows. We can see each other the whole day. For years, we live and grow up with the same bed neighbors. We became so close, as batchmates.

After sometime, I gave thanks for technology. It was a great help. Life, for us, became very convenient. It brought down all the walls separating all of us far from each other and, then, interconnected us. We all have become global neighbors. Now, only virtual lines and spaces separate peoples. With the right and correct use of it, technology offers us a way by which we can be friends with almost anyone. We can rediscover long lost friends, classmates, neighbors, colleagues... We can even support a cause that interests us. All we need to do is just to be patient and do it in the proper way.

Being very intrusive is, sometimes, one of the downsides of it. Everyone can monitor one's whereabouts, either in an online or roaming mode. Just see it positively. Life is so precious. People, who know us are just concerned. Every second counts. Every moment, an unexpected event transpires somewhere. People would just like to get involved and know that we are all well and all right. In this way, life, for all of us, will really be lived in happiness and peace.

Faith and Luggages

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I was recently at the airport to send off a visitor. While we were falling in line to check in our luggages, one migrant worker, ahead of us, was taking so much time checking her's, for it exceeded the weight limit per passenger allowed by the airline she was flying home with. According to her, maybe the airline's weighing scale and her's at home was different, as she repeatedly weighted all of her luggages before leaving for the airport.

Being near at hand, I offered to help her unload many things from her luggages until it reached the allowable weight limit. And, instead of throwing way the stuff, which she intends to give as a homecoming gifts to her family back home, she donated it all to me.

This is usually the case with many of our migrant workers. Coming over, luggage exceeding the weight limit is not an issue. But, it is when they go back, after working two to three years, and after sending home boxes upon boxes of goodies via private door to door courier services that the said issue crops up.

If our government looks at our migrant workers as the new heroes for keeping our economy afloat due to their remittances, the Church, in turn, looks at them as the new missionaries. Leaving home, they bring with them their faith to their workplaces, both in the homes and in the factories. During break times, on the factory floors, they get to share their faith with their coworkers and wards. Being very likable, many of the female migrants intermarry with the local people. They bring their husbands to church. With the whole family in attendance, they have their children baptized. And so, they came to raise a Catholic family amidst a pagan society.

Of course, if there are some success stories, there are also a number of sad stories among many of them which we have heard all too oftentimes. This just goes to show that though we possess a strong faith in God, our imperfections stay. They are not erased by our faith. They forever remain. In the language of many merchants, there is the so-called "breakages", in which not all delivered goods are expected to be a hundred percent safe and sound. In the course of the delivery process from one station to another, some goods get broken. So with our faith strongly intact, we have to continually struggle for the good, for God.

Many migrant workers, with only their faith in their hearts and so much financially indebted due to the high placement fees, come over here empty. But, if they work well, they eventually get blessed. With the money they earned working in the homes and in the factories, they get to buy many things that back at home they might not be able to afford. They are our new missionaries sharing their faith and they are much blessed supporting the economy back home in our country. After all; "...the laborer deserves his payment." (Luke 10:7).

One Size Fits All

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Before, in the seminary, as a sort of an excuse or a justification from seminarians who have already decided to go out of the seminary and no longer pursue the road to priesthood, I often heard from them the following statement: "We can serve God, not only as a priest..."

Having went through the minor seminary, I can say that I practically grew up inside its walls. I remember that it is all made up of moss-covered thick brick walls built by the Spanish missionaries who pioneered the Christianization of our country.

Although as future priests, we were encouraged to be all to our parishioners - a jack of all trades but a master of none - we were not really taught any sort of trade or a livelihood that can enable us to earn an income to support a family. For one, a seminary is not a trade nor a professional school where one goes, in order to open up a future business establishment. Honestly, I don't know of any other kind of life but only what I learned from our formation.

What I learned foremost is creativity. I have to learn how to recreate God's mutilated creation. To help bring it to life again. As a priest, acting in persona Christi - acting in the person of Christ - this is my utmost mission.

In the seminary, our basic idea of recreation is the vacant time we have just after our supper time and our study period. It is a time for us to digest, in our stomachs, what we have just eaten, which for some is done by socializing with fellow seminarians, playing indoor games like table tennis, boardgames, and for others by preparing the things that are to be needed before we embark on academically studying the Word of God. Then, praying over it all, and, eventually, retiring for the day with our minds and hearts full of it. With full anticipation, we await the beginning of another day in our lives with a morning prayer, followed by the offering of the Holy Eucharist.

Since newer and smaller parishes where being opened in our Archdiocese, as the phase of our formation veered towards ordination, there were a lot of talks that we have to learn a lot more. There was the pressure to know computers, which were already starting to emerge at that time, carpentry, basics on construction and electronics, and even cooking. But all of these things, I came to discover, just came by easily once our life is steeped with the Word of God. "But first be concerned about God's Kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be provided for you as well." (Matthew 6:33).

"... that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21). I believe that God suffices. He fits all. For everything is his creation. What we only need to do is to recreate it. Enriched with the Word of God, we can help bring back the elements which were damaged, destroyed or separated in creation. Don't say it is impossible. With the help of God, everything is possible.

A Breath of New Life

By Father Allan S. Fenix

   There are some people whose immigration status is legitimized through the so-called amnesty program. This goes the same way with many prisoners, either criminal or political, who are able to free themselves out of jail and are given a second chance in life through the parole or the presidential pardon systems. Rebels and tax evaders, in order for them to be returned to the fold of law and start a new and decent life in society, are offered amnesty and tax breaks, respectively. Even some individuals, who are overwhelmed by their own personal and family debts, and countries, devastated either by wars or natural calamities, are put on a loan condonation program. Not to free them from their financial obligations but, rather, they are helped to restructure their loans to make it, in such a way, that they can conveniently pay the amount they owe. However, all of these are law-related. Laws are not forever. Laws are proposed, promulgated and implemented by a governmental system which is composed of humans. And so, it can be arbitrarily subjected to an amendment, an abrogation, or an outright dissolution.

     A breath of fresh air is how we always describe our overall wellbeing whenever we have just gone to confession. It is because what was given by the confessor and, in turn, what was received by the penitent is love. In the sacrament, we hear it clearly by ourselves from the words coming out of the confessor's mouth. It feels so good to know that we are loved, doesn't it?

     Depending on how he might judge the gravity of the sins committed, the penance that the priest gives, like praying of the rosary regularly, going to mass daily, praying the Stations of the Cross, etc., might be from his own decision but the absolution is divine. It is God's. We priests are acting "in persona Christi"- in the person of Christ.

     Love understands. For as long as we maintain our being in the state of grace, the forgiveness of our sins, through the sacramental absolution, stays. It lingers. But God knows that humans are limited. Thats why we are always given many chances. As long as we are alive, the sacrament is valid. We can ask and receive the forgiveness of our sins. It is only by the hardness of our hearts whereby God's forgiveness is taken far away from us.

     "Soft persons have no place in this world." In the world, we were taught to be hard. However, faced with God's love we have to soften ourselves. Learn how to humbly kneel down inside the confessional. Accuse ourselves of the sins we have committed. And, in turn, receive the greatest of all loves, God. Going out of the confessional box, indeed, it will be a breath of fresh air, for we will be walking on the wings of the Holy Spirit.

Three for the Road

By Father Allan S. Fenix

    "In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

     During election times, winning is in the numbers. Candidates campaign for every vote. Each vote cast is very valuable. The more votes that they can muster in favor of a certain candidate, the better it is. Thats why, there are some who, knowing that they have a very slim chance of winning over a rival candidate, cheat. They employ just about any tactics to win, some of which are illegal like vote-buying, double registration of voters, etc.

     For many, the number Three is a very significant number. It might simply mean "I LOVE YOU." But for one to whom it is being address to, it is an all-moving life-changing three words. I know of some, who upon hearing those words, whether just in passing, in a whisper or murmur or a compliment, coming from others, be it a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend or a total stranger, simply decided to change their lives for the better. With these three simple words, they put themselves on a different road to a much better place than in the past. There are even some who bank on it. They have these selected favored numbers in which they constantly cast their lottery numbers, and the number Three is always one of them.

   Maybe heavily influenced by what we see on many cinematic films, we sometimes think too much about God to the point of over exaggeration, which up to a certain point might be right. But, whenever we reach a point wherein our limited reasoning cannot explain it anymore, we just then give up on it and lose faith.

   The Holy Trinity, the One God in Three Divine Persons, means "I LOVE YOU." "I," in grammar, is a first person pronoun. "... I am who I Am ..." (Exodus 3:14). There are times wherein I encounter people who are very critical of our Catholic faith. Swearing, they say that they will never be one since they cannot accept a religion advocating a love more than to one own's family. We cannot simply deny that there are some cultures which still have a strong practice of ancestor worship. The overarching motive is fear of misfortune. They cannot remove from their belief that their forefathers, who have already gone ahead of them, still hold power and influence over their lives and fortunes. If they displease them, something bad might happen to them. God must be the first and the only one in our lives and in everything. "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end." (Revelation 22: 13).

   "LOVE" is Jesus Christ. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3: 16). In the world, love is very much adulterated. Worldly love is overindulgence of the self, resulting in greed and selfishness. Thats why, we have this inequality in the distribution of wealth. We have people who are extremely rich and, there are, also, those people who are living in extreme poverty. There are four kinds of love: eros, filial, philia and agape. The fourth kind, agape, is the selfless love for others. This is the kind of love that Jesus had on the cross for our sins.

   The "YOU," who is the Holy Spirit, the sanctifier, completes the intimate relationship between God and Jesus Christ. With the Holy Spirit, there is a dialogue in the Holy Trinity. In the game of basketball, which many of us are familiar with, there is the so-called shooting the ball by the board, in which a player does not directly shoot the ball to the basket but does so by way of bouncing the ball through the ringboard to add more beauty and style to the action. This clearly pictures to us the Holy Trinity. The ringboard is the Holy Spirit and the ring and ball is God and Jesus Christ.

   The Holy Spirit is in each and everyone of us. By virtue of the Sacrament of Baptism, our bodies become living tabernacles, most especially when we receive Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. So, keep it clean. Keep it pure. Go to confession. So that we will always be in the state of grace. With the Holy Trinity in our lives, we need not cheat. We are, indeed, on the road to a holier life where we will all be winners.

   "In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. I love you!!!"

Meteor Showers

By Father Allan S. Fenix

    Have you ever witnessed a meteor shower before? I, for one, haven't yet. A meteor shower is defined as a celestial event in which a number of meteors are observed to be entering earth's atmosphere at extremely high speed and on a parallel trajectory.

     To feel refreshed, specially during the sometimes unbearably hot summer months, it is nice to take a cold shower to wash away sweat, body odors, and accumulated grime.

     Pentecost is the Church birthday. The Church, the Body of Christ, is made up of all the baptized. So today, inside the celebration of the mass, without ever noticing it, all of us having faith in him, are taking a spiritual shower. It is the shower of the Holy Spirit pouring down gifts upon gifts to us. As birthday celebrants it is, indeed, fitting for us to receive these gifts coming down from the Holy Spirit.

     For a few moments of silence, using our own individual imagination, lets picture, right in front of us, the kind of gifts that the Holy Spirit, as of now, is giving us that we particularly need to fulfill our mission towards our own family, work and apostolate.

    It is in our culture that, if possible, on our birthdays, we go and offer a thanksgiving mass. So, whatever it is, thank the Holy Spirit and receive the gifts wholeheartedly. Then, let us celebrate.

   The gifts of the Holy Spirit to us, actually, have no value if we don't know how to cherish them. Big or small it might be, learn to appreciate and keep on going back to it over and over again. Because "Whoever is faithful with very little is also faithful with a lot, and whoever is dishonest with very little is also dishonest with a lot." (Luke 16:10).

     Well, we just took a meteor shower of graces, compliments of the Holy Spirit. May we all feel fresh and good as we go back, once again, to our dormitories, work places, families and apostolates. Happy Birthday to all of us!!!

This Way to Heaven, Please

By Father Allan S. Fenix

    Before, I used to watch a lot of martial arts films, wherein the characters involved, with their feet not touching the ground for quite some time, make long, high jumps from one place to another. As a child, then, I nearly believed that, maybe, there is really such breed of persons, who can be able to do this. But I always have to pinch myself awake, reminding myself that these are just movies, with lots of camera tricks employed to impress the audience.

   Excluding the animated science fiction characters that we usually see on films and in comic books, the idea of a real human person flying up in the air on their own, without the aid of any flying implements, by merely defying the law of gravity is unbelievable beyond the imagination. The only word that I can come up to describe it is "supernatural."

   Being supernatural refers to no one else but God. For, he is everything that we are not. For one, he is the creator, who came from nothing but himself, alone, while we are his creatures, created out of something. He is infinite while we are finite.

   "With God, nothing is impossible." (Luke 1:37). Not jumping to a rushed conclusion, and to make a very long story short, Jesus Christ ascending to heaven is not unbelievable. It is possible under all of the circumstances by which we know God.

   In our faith, without the gift of the beatific vision, by which we are able to see God face to face as He is, there would be a lot more of things that we wouldn't know and understand than we are able to.

     The Ascencion of Jesus Christ to heaven, the second decade of the Glorious Mystery, is a victory for all of us harboring faith in him. For, it is our triumph over death together with him. So, as we pray the rosary every Thursday and Sunday, may we "Be holy, as the heavenly Father is holy." (Matthew 5:48). So that one day, welcomed by the choirs of angels, we can enter heaven to be together with God for a life everlasting and without end. Amen.

     By then, we will be able to say that there is really a certain breed of persons who can not only fly but, even go and enter heaven. They are those who have faith in God and did not gave up on it. These people just go on living and loving it.

Wordkeeper

By Father Allan S. Fenix

There are those who keep on counting the number of months and days until their birthdays. Because, for them, it means an exciting celebration together with their loved ones and friends, and, perhaps, they receive a longed for, promised gift, begin a new stage in life as a teenager, adult, senior citizen. There are, also, those who dread its impending arrival. For them, an added year to one's age is the start of losing their vigor and youthfulness, entrance to old age, sickness and, eventually, the ever looming death waiting at the door for each and everyone of us. There is really no other way but up. Because, from the day we were born, we start edging nearer to our own mortality.

For me, it has already been my own personal experience that I always break into cold sweats whenever the idea of death comes to mind. It always gives me goosebumps whenever I am called upon to go and give the Sacrament of the Anointing to the sick and dying to someone.

In life, I try my best to be a keeper of the Word of God. Someone who struggles on everyday to study and live it for the rest of my remaining life. But, although I really profess faith in God, the only giver of life, from time to time, I get to asking myself if, at my old and feeble age, when everything else in me has already failed and given up, does my faith really have what it takes so that I will still strongly cling to it to deliver me from all my difficulties and death?

God's word is not covered by any expiration. There is no hurry to use it all up at once. It wont go stale at any stage of our lives, for it is ever there fresh and new." Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him..." (John 14:23).

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." (John 14:27). Lets clear out our minds and hearts of that which gives us great trepidation and doubts, and allow the Word of God to resound all over.

Armed with our faith in the Word of God, lets face the reality of death in our lives bravely. Our age will just be a number telling us how long and far have we been walking together with God on the road to salvation. His Word will, indeed, be the ultimate coup de grace for our deliverance from death to a new life together with him in heaven. So, don't count your age but, rather, count on God's Word.

In God's Good Hands

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In our lives, whether through others or in ourselves, we impose and demand many external and internal expectations. We believe in the saying; "Actions speak louder than words."

There was a time when I began asking myself the question, "Is it at all possible for an individual Catholic faithful to gain a full understanding of the faith, the Church doctrine and its traditions and practices?" This was triggered when during our final exam in religion when we were about to graduate from the minor seminary, I felt so much shame that I was not even able to get the correct answer to a basic catechetical question, "What is the teaching authority of the Church?" To which the answer is "the Church Magisterium."

The Sacrament of Baptism, defined in Canon Law as the doorway to the other sacraments, is very important. But, in itself, it is not the only end of a Catholic. As a testament that a Catholic is continually growing in the faith. After baptism, there are other subsequent sacraments to be received such as Confirmation, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Matrimony, Holy Orders and the Anointing of the sick and dying.

Oftentimes, the importance of the Sacrament of Confirmation is just seen as a mere requirement towards the reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony. The attitude is that if there is no impending church marriage, this particular sacrament is nothing- "wala lang!!!" Usually in the parishes, the sacrament is celebrated whenever there is a big occasion like a parish feast or anniversary wherein the local ordinary, who is the official sacramental minister, is invited. There are times when the faculty to confirm is delegated to another official representative like a vicar forane.

First Holy Communion. Pre-graduation recollections and retreats. Sacrament of Matrimony. These are some of the special moments in every Catholic's life wherein going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation is required as it is, usually, followed with the celebration of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. Otherwise, it is just relegated to some other spiritually trying times, like the funeral mass of a family member, or grave illness, or as a prerequisite for the Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick and dying.

First things first. But, sometimes, first things are put last. The Sacrament of Matrimony is a complicated sacrament. Complicated, in the sense that it involves a lot of official documents such as baptismal and confirmation certificates, wedding license from the civil registrar, banns, seminars and interviews. For the underage, a letter of consent from the parents is required. For a foreigner, a freedom to marry certificate issued by their embassy is, also, a requirement. It is my common experience, as a priest, that in administering the Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick and dying, I also find, at the same time, that at in their old age they haven't yet embraced the Sacrament of Matrimony. As we were taught not to keep the food on the table waiting, so we must also not keep the grace of God hanging in a balance by living as husband and wife but without the benefit of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

".... Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5). The seedbed of vocation is the family. Every Catholic family is called upon to pray for vocations. The sacraments are made possible only by a priest. So without the Sacrament of the Holy Orders, there will be no sacraments. Nobody is worthy of the call. All of us are sinners. But, it is only by the grace of God that our vocation will operate.

The fourth commandment says, "You shall honor your father and mother." If we have to honor our parents, how much more must we who honor those who gave us that very commandment? The commandments are from God. He is our shepherd and we are his sheep. Jesus said: "My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me." (John 10:27). Therefore, as Catholics professing one faith in the Triune God, we have to follow him through the voice of the Church Magisterium through which He speaks. If we do this, it is only right that we will have a true understanding of our faith together with all its traditions and practices.

"I do not call you servants anymore... I've called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father." (John 15: 15). God is our teacher and we are his students. Lets learn from the Chinese Catholics, many of whom received the faith late in their lives. They call a faithful "教友 (jiao\you)." Literally translating the two characters, it means " A friend being taught. "

If we remain friends with him, we are in good hands. Lets take it from his own very words, " I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one can take them out of my Father's hand." (John 10:27).

Hands and Feet

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The hands and the feet are two of the work horses of the human body. But since it is the part of the body which has more direct contacts with external objects, whenever we eat, work and do recreation, nowadays, with all the various kinds of viruses spreading around, we constantly see pictures of a hand, and soap and water, whereby it reminds us to be always conscious of our hygiene by regularly washing our hands. How about the feet? Where do we fit those in?

In Romans 10: 15 we read, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." God is the Summum Bonum- All Good. Things can only be considered truly good if not tainted with sin. As people professing our faith and service to one God, this Holy Thursday in the mass of the washing of the Apostle's feet, we are being reminded to be always in the state of Grace by regularly confessing our sins. Otherwise, what will be the difference between those unchurched Catholics, who just go on oblivious with their lives, and us, who are always in Church but are not regular in the reception of the sacraments. If that is the case, we won't benefit from the bountiful grace that flows out from the Eucharistic sacrifice.

Communion time comes. Parishioners will, once again, fall in line. Be sure that those hands, to be used in receiving him in the Eucharist, and those feet, to be used in approaching him, are all clean. Newly washed. Because we have been to Confession.

Lord, Open My Lips

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At whatever time and age, there are just many things that we still don't know nor can we totally understand about our faith. Faith is a daily discovery. And, one should be awake to be able to see it.

I first learned of this concise prayer in the seminary; "PROTECT US, LORD, AS WE STAY AWAKE; WATCH OVER US AS WE SLEEP, THAT AWAKE WE MAY KEEP WATCH WITH CHRIST, AND ASLEEP, WE MAY REST IN HIS PEACE." And ever since, then, and up to these days, before retiring for the day, it has always been my habitual form of prayer. It is usually recited at the concluding part of our night prayer, which, is done after our study period. However, although it is my favorite night prayer, I must confess that I, myself, am afraid to die now or too soon, for that matter. I, together with many others, would still want to see the light of another day and witness a lot of exciting events coming into our lives.

For some, waking up early in the morning is a difficulty. However, not counting when the weather is bad, this is nothing as compared to many parishioners who still had to cross great distances with rivers and creeks, along the way, just to be able for them to attend the mass. So, be thankful if you just live near, or just a short ride away, from a church where a mass is celebrated daily. Be thankful for this convenience of being a primary witness to a great miracle.

We usually have our rise up at five thirty in the morning to prepare ourselves for the morning prayer and mass at six at the chapel located right next to our dormitory. What a wonderful thing, indeed, to start the day with a prayer and a mass. And, while the mass is winding down, we can now smell the fragrant aroma of our breakfast which consists of lots and lots of rice, dried fish and eggs to fuel our bodies all throughout the day. Meat is only on weekends.

We pray for all the engineers, the construction workers, and the government which gave the funds and all those who have been part of all of this infrastructures from roads to bridges, that it could be made possible to enable us to reach the church safely. I thank God, that as a priest, I just live a floor away from the parish church where I could always be close to the Blessed Sacrament at anytime during the day. Be always thankful that we live always under God's grace and protection.

"This is necessary because you know the times - its already time for you to wake up from sleep, because our salvation is nearer now than when we became believers." (Romans 13: 11). Bless each day as it comes. Always start it with a morning prayer and end it with a night prayer. Negative thoughts and situations will always be with us. It will be up to us how we will let it affect us.

Our nights are ended with coming of a bright new day. How fitting it would be to start it with, "LORD, OPEN MY LIPS AND MY MOUTH WILL DECLARE YOUR PRAISE."

Jesus, Our Insurance

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Recalling the years, as I made my way to the priesthood, I perenially heard the following statements, which I sometimes found convincing enough from others, who, I don't know, if they just wanted to test or dissuade me - "If you will not have a family of your own, what will happen to you when you get old?... Who will take good care of you?.... "

From time to time, I also always encounter this in the news: "A person, in great financial straits, kills a family member for the insurance money."

There are four major types of insurance - property, casualty, health and life. Each of them offers very attractive benefits which, for everyone of us, is basic in securing our own future and that of the family. No one wants to see their own lovedones in want - in poverty, in hunger, in difficulties... We would always like to see them rich, fullfilled and happy. So, for many, to add to their regular income, selling insurance as a part time job, helps a lot. If one is motivated enough in convincing others in buying these policies, one can earn a lot, in terms of high commissions. Unless and until, the policyholder starts to default on their annual premiums.

Insurance, as in many other institutions we all see around us, is a business. It is subject to market conditions. Nothing is really secure. As there are many which prosper, there are, also, many which close shop.

Only God lasts. I remember a priest who shared to me that during the time of his ordination, upon the imposition of our Archbishop's hands on his head, he whispered the following words; "Goodbye world." After long years of sacrifice and wait, priesthood is not an end in the life of a seminarian. But, rather, it is an invitation for one to cultivate more holiness in one's life. I do believe, that, as priests, we were freed from a lot of worldly concerns so that we could just focus on this one single business- holiness. So that, in the same way, others who hunger for God's love in words and deeds might see a bit of heaven in us. They have had enough of hate and insults from their work places, family, friends.... May we priests not be an added burden to them, but act as a sort of alleviation.

"..... Lord, to whom would we go? You have words of eternal life." John 6: 68. Our choice for God is already the greatest insurance that we have made in our lives. Be it for our property, casualty, health and life. It's the greatest thing that happened to all of us.

God does not change. He offers us everlasting insurance with him in heaven. May we never try to lose that privilege. May we never default due to sins. But, instead, sustain it through the sacraments, prayers and deeds.

A Day in Our Lives

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     After being too much preoccupied by all of the demands and pressures from our day and part-time jobs the whole week through, to unwind there are some who go to the park for some sun and exercise, or spend a day with a favorite pastime like kite flying, swimming, cooking, or do just about anything to distract themselves. But, for you, what do you usually do with your Sundays? Or other free days?

     Sundays, which the third of the Ten Commandments teaches to keep holy, must always be for Church and family. But, it could also be a time for a family community involvement together. Something to do outside of ourselves for others, in need more than we are. In the Church, we call it an apostolate or a ministry. It is usually centered on the seven corporal works of mercy, particularly, feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit those in prison and bury the dead.

     In the various stages of our lives, we oftentimes feel as though not contented. Nothing seems to be enough. We constantly find ourselves searching for depth and meaning in whatever we are doing.

   For Jesus Christ, his mission is about what Isaiah wrote, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (Luke 4:18). What could it mean for us personally?

   Sunday is a day to be free. To rest and to be with God, who gives us that freedom. It is a day to give: To be unpaid for it, but be rewarded a hundredfold in graces. It is a time to get out there and volunteer oneself to be available for others in whatever ways that are good and legal.

   Imperfect and wanting though we are, the Church continually urges us on to be bigger than ourselves. What better way to do this than to take Jesus Christ's mission into our lives. When we make our Sunday holy, we increase ourselves because we are connected to him, God , Our Father, who is the mightiest of all, through others in our ministries.

Waiting

By Father Allan S. Fenix

When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11

Childhood entails a lot of long waiting. I remember that back then, after a full week of days of school, we always looked forward to a weekend of movies. But whenever the cardboard sign "FOR ADULTS ONLY" was hung in front of the ticket counter window of our favorite movie theater, it meant that we would have to wait for another weekend for our turn to watch. Along the way from our home to school, there were a lot of inviting dining, commercial and entertainment establishments, with its cool habitues. Seeing them, I wished that I also could go in. I was just very curious of what was inside. But, I had to wait for the right time and purpose.

There are many things that we would want to possess. But we just have to wait and wait again up until the ripe right time has arrived. It is not that we are being intentionally deprived or prohibited from getting our hands on them: It is just how the world, with its limited resources, operates.

The world belongs to the one who waits and does something good about it. One day, with proper preparation, all of the things that a person once wished for will just fall into their rightful places. How can we get our dream job, house, vehicle, properties if we have not, early on, equipped ourselves with the necessary qualifications - like an enough level of education, training and character?

Let's tell our children to take their time. Don't get bored with the adequate time given to them to aspire to an education and training for a better tomorrow for themselves and their own family someday. In the coming days, no time is wasted when invested wisely in school. Every bit of what we have learned will be put to full use.

Parents, work hard for your family. You have had your time. Now is the time to prove yourselves. If, in case, our early preparation is found to be severely inadequate, there is always time to go back and repair it. No time is too late for anything and anyone. Anytime is the best time. A good deed done now will give birth to another good one tomorrow and the next.

Let death be our only stopover.

Wonderful Blessings

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Before every semester ends inside the seminary, each one of us seminarians receives our own individual evaluation, wherein we are told of the positive and negative goodness we have done, for a given period of time, based on the four aspects of formation which are; human, academics, pastoral and spirituality. According to a formator, positive goodness is when we have done some concrete or tangible contribution to the community like giving of our time, talent and treasures, whereas negative goodness is when we have done nothing at all, neither good nor bad.

From these evaluations, we will either be recommended with admonition, recommended or highly recommended to the next higher ecclesiastical study. It means to say that we can go on and continue with our formation towards the priesthood.

Don't bring yourself down. There are some people who fear receiving feedback. Since it tells a truth about ourselves, evaluations, sometimes, are very painful. However, to grow and improve, we need it. Because there are times when we do not appreciate well the beauty or the ugliness that is inside lurking and affecting others until someone points it out for us. There is a general tendency in us not to appreciate ourselves very well. We, instead, bring ourselves down.

A genuinely concerned person will not be so much bogged down by just the outer appearances only, but by the beauty and goodness that they can see inside a person. The feedbacks, favorable or unfavorable might those be, are wonderful gifts coming from others to help us.

The Church, for many, is an outlet. It is where, for a day or a few moments, they can express themselves either in prayers, adoration or in interaction with others. In our Church, everyone is doing their best to contribute and get involved. Some show up to spend their time cleaning the surroundings - the floors, the walls, the windows, the pews... Some bring and arrange flowers and plants on the altar. Some decorate. Some wash the linens and vestments. Some prepare the things to be used for mass. Some come to attend the Eucharistic celebration. Some come just to be with friends. Some come to join the different Church ministries and organizations being offered such as the choir, the Legion of Mary, Apostleship of Prayers, servers and acolytes, Eucharistic Lay Ministers, ushers and usherettes, lectors and commentators, or collectors and offerors. And there are also some who just really show up all for the sake of showing up and then, at the end of the day, go home to wait for another Sunday or season. We, also, have these so-called Christmas or Holy Week Catholics. These Catholics darken the doors of the Church only during these certain times and seasons.

The biggest room is the room for improvement. On the start of another year, let us ask ourselves, whom are we from those mentioned above? We would not want to do this simply to show that we are better than another. If we think that we are already good, go and carry on. But, if we think we find ourselves still wanting on many things in our life as a Catholic, go on also, but do something positive about it.

What are we still looking for in our lives? God is there waiting for all of us at the end of our lives. For many of us, knowingly and unknowingly, Jesus is already inside our hearts and lives. What we only need to do is to share him with others. In this way, we, ourselves, will indeed be such blessings to others and not be one of a curse.

The Tree of Our Faith

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In Genesis 2:9; "Out of the ground the Lord God caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil."

The tree, which is the primary source of wood, is life. Before metals and plastics, used as substitutes in manufacturing many of our daily goods and facilities like furnitures and infrastructures, there was wood first.

During our time, although it was just all done in paper, it was a Philippine law, then, which required every graduating student to plant a certain number of trees. I was so afraid that I might not graduate from elementary since I hadn't yet even planted a single tree. But, back then, everyone just seemed to turn a blind eye to it. The necessary forms were just filled out upon request from the proper municipal agricultural officer for submission to the school administration. So, on paper, perhaps millions of trees had been reportedly planted by the thousands of graduating classes from all over the country for a single school year. But, in truth and reality, there were none.

God made flesh, Jesus Christ, having St. Joseph as his foster father, who was a carpenter by trade, and was born into a carpenter family. In so being, wood has a great significance in their life as a family.

Aside from the swaddling clothes which weere used to wrap him, the manger , which is a long open box usually made of wood, from which horses or cattle can feed, was the first material object which made a direct contact with Jesus Christ. And, at the end of his life, the wood of the cross was also the last thing that Jesus Christ touched and died on. John 19: 18: "Here they crucified him, and with him two others - one on each side and Jesus in the middle."

The wood, in the same vein, has a great significance to us as a Catholic faith community. Before the advent of concrete, the confessional box, the pews we sit on during the Eucharistic celebration, the pulpit where the Word of God is proclaimed and preached, and the altar table where the bread and wine are turned into the very Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ, these were all, mostly, made of wood. Even the paper and ink, used in printing the words of the Sacred Scriptures, are all tree derivatives. Wood, then, is instrumental in transmitting the faith.

In school and at home, the seats, the desks, the bookshelves, the cabinets, and the beds where we sleep to the table and holy altar where the whole family eat meals and pray together; these are all made of wood. Before our modern gas stoves and other high-end cooking ranges, we either used firewood or coal to cook the food we eat. Wood is, indeed, life.

At the end of our lives, if we don't opt to be cremated, it is ordinarily in a coffin, made of wood of whatever type and quality, where we will forever repose.

Lets take good care of the little ones. Everyone of us should take heart and be concerned. The tree, like our faith, which holds everything that we live on, is very vital to our very existence as human beings and as a Church. Just as recent ecological issues from typhoons to floods had impacted everyone of us, it is also the same way with the many problems confronting our Church and society.

If we cannot add by actually planting a new tree, at least let us take good care and help protect the remaining few ones that we have. And on the other hand, if we don't have anything else beneficial to contribute, let us avoid leading others to sin. As in Matthew 18: 6: "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck."

Outriggers

By Father Allan S. Fenix

A congregation of alligators... A troop of apes... A herd of antelopes... A colony of ants... a drove of asses... A culture of bacteria... A battery of barracudas... A cloud of bats... A swarm of bees... A flock of birds... A train of camels... An army of caterpillars... A litter of kittens... A bed of clams... A school of fish... A family of persons...

Just as there are some kinds of animals like birds and fishes which migrate in groups from one end of the globe to another when the season is changing from warm to cold, it is also similarly in the same way with us, human beings. Whether it be in places where it can offer comfort us by way of food, entertainment, atmosphere -- or in the special embrace of someone in our lives -- we seek warm corners wherein we feel accepted as the very person who we really are.

We live through our relationships. History has already witnessed how tinkering with social engineering wherein, with human progress as the one and only thing in mind, the parent and child relationship is severed in order to teach the latter new and better things. This has devastatingly failed. Like water seeking its own level, we, humans thrive in our interconnectedness with each other. We ask the question, "Who am I without the other?" In Genesis 2:18, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.'"

We do not want to feel all alone and left out in the cold of our own making. Naturally, there is in each and everyone of us the strong yearning to be out there in the open together with each other having a great time in our lives. As humans, we seek each other. The "I" is completed by the "you."

But, a word of caution lest we overdose on it since time gets to be so fast and short whenever we are really enjoying ourselves; we always have to apply temperance -- "the breaks" in everything. Neither too much nor none at all, our relationships, like virtue, must always be in the middle.

Human relationships are not an academic course nor a scientific endeavor just to be objectively studied. They must rather be internalized to bear much fruit. As a priest or a religious... As a parent or a child in a family... As a citizen in a society... As a faithful in a Church... All of us must seek each other to find him who is the model of all relationships -- God, Our Father, who created all of us. Being One God in Three Divine Persons, each of them have their own full participation within each other as a Creator, as a Savior and as a Sanctifier to fulfill salvation in our history.

On our own, we feel alone, cold and hungry. Lets go out of our shells and reach out. Someone out there needs our warmth. Getting connected to others wont cost us too much. All it takes is the first step from us and others will take it there from us. Our relationships will just have a life of their own. And we will find that, indeed, life is so meaningful, joyful and wonderful to live out up to its last days.

The Confessional

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     A lyric in a once popular song says, "Get back! Get back to where you once belonged."

     Usually, after a week or so, borrowed books and magazines from the library have to be returned back before its allocated time frame expires. Delinquent borrowers, those who exceed their borrowing time privileges, are given a reminder, a penalty or a fine or, as the case may be, outright cancellation of their library cards.

     Sometimes, we just ignore it and let it pass us by thinking that, "Anyway, it is not such a big deal, after all!" How many times have we felt terribly betrayed when some people in our lives promised to return or pay something which they merely borrowed from us, be it in the form of an object or money, at whatever size and amount, but the promise did not materialize?

     Directly or indirectly, let's accept it that, at one time or another, we have all had this kind of unbecoming habit wherein we just take the properties, the feelings and, even, the lives of others for granted. Some of whom we know well and some we don't. Have you stolen anything from someone? Have you slept with someone other than your lawful partner? Have you killed someone? Have you aborted a baby?

     The Church middle aisle is usually filled up during communion times. The side altars, wherein are placed the icons of either the patron saint or that of the Blessed Virgin Mary, are usually full of devotees falling in lines as they pray devotedly for their own intentions. But the lone confessional box is the least visited place inside the church. It is always empty. An abandoned fixture by the far corner.

     There is a Canon Law provision, wherein it is stipulated that the least minimum frequency whereby every Catholic must approach this particular Sacrament is once a year, specifically during the Lenten season. But the act of confession can be, by itself, a devotion. Penitents should not be dependant on the law. The confessional box need not have long lines only during the Lenten season or on the evenings before the First Fridays of the month.

     I am always reminded of what our spiritual directors taught us: that confession can be availed upon even without the need to remit either a single venial or mortal sin. Confessing our own personal struggles against temptations is enough. The Sacrament is found to be an effective means of warding off temptations for those who are serious in their quest for holiness of life.

     Sin separates us from a life with God. It is only through the Sacrament of Reconciliation by which we are reunited back to him. As Catholics, it is to this particular sacrament, then, that belong all things which do not belong to nor suit us - sins. All of our sins should be remitted in the confessional. What a way, indeed, to decongest and simplify our lives.

     The Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist is the center of every Catholic life. But as sinners, we Catholics belong to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. For this sacrament is the only proper way of preparing ourselves for the worthy reception of the Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ, in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. If not, it is like gaining entrance in a house by way of the window which is done by none other than a thief with a malice towards the lives of its inhabitants and their possessions.

     Many Catholics find a very classical excuse not to avail themselves of the Sacrament of Reconciliation with the shallow reason that, "A priest is also a sinner" - the blind leading the blind. And who is not? In an incident in John 8:7, when the Pharisees persisted in questioning Jesus about what to do with a woman caught in the act of adultery, he straightened up and said, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

     Though the intensity varies, all of us are under the same temptations. All of us belong to each other. We call each other "Brother and Sister." We have to help each other rather than condemn each other. To condemn others is to condemn our very selves. Let us be true to ourselves. Let us not be selfish but learn how to return sins by way of confessing our sins in the confessional to a priest. Through the sacraments, we are tightly bound to each other.

     Actually, it is really very easy to go to confession only if we decide to do so. Peace, my dear brothers and sisters. Let us see each other in heaven someday.

God and Numbers

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In case you have one, do you know by memory your own mobile phone number? If one will make an international call, it will go to as many as twelve or more digits due to the added area and local number codes. I knew a person who know by heart several mobile phone numbers of close friends and loved ones.

All of our lives are already numbered. God, like numbers, is as omnipresent and infinite in our lives. God, like numbers, permeates our lives.

Whenever we meet someone, the first thing we ask from him (or her) are numbers- phone, home and street numbers, the convenient time to contact them.... Whenever we open an account, be it in a bank; for social security and health insurance; credit and library cards; online social networks, we will be issued a combination of letters and numbers to help facilitate in identifying us. We will also be asked to have our own password either in letters or in numbers.

Whenever we wish to travel, our passport, visa, tickets, flight schedules, itineraries, seats, rooms, luggages -- are all numbered. Whenever we try to compose a letter, we always begin it with a date -- the month, the day, the year. Whenever we want to watch or listen to a program on television or a radio broadcast, we have to know the time, the channel, the frequency, the duration, mode adjustment, volume intensity. Political terms, scientific studies, musical compositions and even licenses like business, driver's -- these are all numbered.

Numbers, from our waking to sleeping time, play very integral roles in our lives -- we are always counting. Let us, then, try to go back from the very beginning.

Toddlers, after the alphabets, are taught by parents or their caregivers how to count from numbers one to ten and beyond. From the definite date and time of birth to how much one progresses in weight, height and age. From how one fares academically, performs at work, or competitively at sports to one's personal and national economic development and progress. From how much one consumes utilities, goods, calories to how many we number as a people... From the lottery numbers to the number of votes a candidate has garnered in an election and up to the of casualties in a war, accidents or calamities. From all sorts of statistics, opinion poll surveys to birthdays, feasts and anniversary celebrations, reunions. Counting up or counting down, its all nothing but about numbers, numbers and numbers.

Most of all, even in our faith as a church community everything is also numbered -- the number of active, retired and dead clergy, religious, seminarians, parishes, seminaries, schools and institutions, programs, ministries, apostolates.

In our Doctrine and Liturgy -- the One God in Three Divine Persons in the Blessed Trinity. The 3 Liturgical years. The 3 Theological Virtues. The 3 Holy Days of Obligations. Triduum mass. The 4 Liturgical seasons. The Rosary's 4 sets of Mysteries. The 4 Cardinal Virtues. The 5 Precepts of the Church. The 7 Sacraments. The 7 Capital Sins. The 7 Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit. The 7 Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercies. The 8 Beatitudes. 9-day Novenario. The 10 Commandments...

Even in our Sacred Scriptures, it is, in the same way, replete with numbers -- The chapters. The verses. The pages. The 39 Old and 27 New Testament books. The 40 days and 40 nights of flood. The 12 Minor and 5 Major Prophets. The 7 Plagues. The 5 Judges. The 4 Evangelists. The 12 Tribes of Israel. The 72 Disciples. The 12 Apostles. The 7 Last Words. The Parables. The Genealogies of Christ.

When letters and words might seem to be too personal, sometimes to avoid being subjective and instead be objective about a certain matter, numbers are applied. Numbers are cold and unfeeling. Even prisoners are not usually referred to by their names but rather by numbers.

God is in the numbers. He is constant just like the numbers yesterday, today and tomorrow. God has filled up the numbers with the flavor of his love and mercy. If the dates -- the month, the day, the year-- in the calendar might seem to change day by day, it is but similar to God's ongoing revelations in our lives wherein we get to know how much he loves us and ready to forgive us of our sins through the events and happenings in our lives.

If we even know by heart our own and all of our intimate friends' and lovedones mobile phone numbers, how much more we have to know God's numbers wherein we can be able to call on him at anytime, at no cost? His is a toll-free one. No need for a SIM card, for an expensive load or a subscription. His number is free for all of us who want to connect with him.

Let's know and be diligent in our prayers. In this way, we will know God well and, also, know the true meaning of numbers within our individual lives.

Jesus

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Jesus Christ, the second person in the Most Blessed Trinity, is called by many titles. Some of which, within the local context of our own experiences, are somewhat familiar and some very unfamiliar like savior, wonder counsellor, miracle worker, the good shepherd, a prophet, a priest, a king..... A king? Whats in the name?

Kings can either be found in monarchical forms of government, in an indoor boardgame of chess, in a certain category of sizes, in the name of a person or establishments. But, these are all mere institutions, titles or names of persons, objects, classifications made up of limited mortals; fragile objects which eventually die, get wornout, discarded, or replaced with new and much better ones. Some are relegated to historical records, museums, historical sites to be studied, admired or appreciated as persons of great interest. However, deep within, we would much like to vouch for something and someone that is much different from all of them. Someone who could deliver and last for generations and generations to come, if not unendingly forever like time itself.

Durability verses mediocrity. Whenever we go to the market to purchase any thing, be it home appliances or personal effects, we always go for quality. Before, due to the strong influence of colonial mentality in our culture, anything imported coming from afar and unfamiliarly sounding specially stateside products "Made in the U.S.A." were in our minds, very durable. And anything coming from near and familiar marked either as "Made in China" or "Made in Taiwan," or locally from our very own Philippine Islands are, oppositely in our minds, very mediocre, haphazardly mass produced out of cheap low-grade materials and are, therefore, flimsy and non longlasting.

Human nature. God is not afar outside of us. He is the EMMANUELLE- "the God who is with us." He is within us. But with our fickle human nature, there are times when we just treat him ordinarily or take him for granted. Anyway, we always say to ourselves, he is always there available for us at anytime. We can just pick and use him whenever we wish to. God, for sure, won't abandon us. He will always be at our beck and call.

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created humans in his image. In the image of God, he created them. He created them male and female." God is within each of us through the Sacraments. He is indelibly marked in us through the Sacrament of Baptism. He is in our wisdom through the Sacrament of Confirmation. He is within, dwelling in us, if we are in the state of grace, through the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. He is in our vocations as married couples, through the Sacrament of Matrimony, and as priests, through the Sacrament of the Holy Orders. And, he is with us when we are sick and nearing death through the Sacrament of the Anointing.

Self-made victims. If God is already with us, what do we want more? Why do we look for more gods -- for more kings, from far and wide to rule in our lives? Whats with these extreme feelings of emptiness leading about to all kinds of excesses, addictions and, sometimes , even death?

Reason and instinct. In philosophy, I learned that while animals have their instinct, we, humans, aside from it have our reason by which through its power, we can be able to successfully win over instinct at our side. Reason is every human person's crowning glory . Without reason, a human person is reduced to ones own instincts, no better than a brute animal.

So, there is no reason with which any human person, be they literate or illiterate, will only be at the very mercy of their runaway instinct. A slave to it. A "Sorry, there's nothing I can do " sort of a person. For reason is stronger and can ably rule over us. We can certainly control our instincts, if we decide to choose to.

To love is a decision. While the entire flora and fauna kingdom cannot do it, we humans, through the gift of reason, are capable of loving. For, to love is a matter of decision which is one of the operations of the intellect.

We can be able to give love to others for God is in us. If we can love, therefore, we can serve the one who gave all of these things to us -- the King, Our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the God of our lives, of all the universe and of the world everlasting. Amen.

Holiness

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     In every society, law and order are very important factors for progress and development. Among the three branches of a good working government are the judicial system, which interprets and applies the laws contained in the Constitution. So, light or heavy, any infraction of the law from rape to homicide, from failure to pay taxes, to driving under the influence, carries with it corresponding penalties in the form of fines, imprisonment and, in some countries where it is imposed, death.

     All of us, whether saints or sinners, struggle daily. Tempted and weak, every now and then, we all fall into sin. In our Church, any transgressions of any one of the Ten Commandments (given to help us human beings achieve holiness) is a mortal sin; a grave one, which automatically renders one not in the state of grace. And so, therefore, one cannot worthily receive the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. The only authorized person who can absolve one from all these transgressions is a priest, who being configured to Jesus Christ through the Sacrament of the Holy Order, fulfills three offices in the Church as a King, a Prophet and a Martyr.

     This explains one of the reasons why the formation to the priesthood is arduous and long. Each priest has on his shoulders the responsibility of being an architect and an engineer towards the building up of the Kingdom of God in a heavily divided world in need of healing - a world in need of LOVE.

     The primary purpose of having a law is to regulate. In philosophy, I learned that a human person is non satis - no satisfaction. A person keeps on pining for one more and another though, in quantity, one has have enough already. No wonder, in the world, there are just various forms of addictions, conflicts and wars that we can name. But all of these do not suit a human person. Created by God, a human person, by nature and origin, is holy. Holiness is what every human person is made up of and meant for. It is the necessary building block towards the establishment of the Body of<> Christ - the Church - the Kingdom of God. Therefore, every human person's hunger and thirst should always be directed towards holiness alone. It is his spouse. Holiness is the law of every human being. It is the lifetime goal of every human person.

     A holy person is single-hearted; not confused. On our way to the priesthood, our formators kept on reminding us to purify our intentions. A philosophy professor told us that the most free is the one who has no more other choices. A person with a handful of choices, all precious and valuable to him, will take time to ruminate, go over it over and over again, and yet cannot arrive at a definite decision: Because letting go is just too difficult.

     God is the law. Being single-hearted, a holy person is totally free. For God alone, who is love and peace, is his possession. Though a holy person's rewards are not in this life but in the next, it is his priority to bring heaven down into the world. To make it into a reality, something which, for most of us, is something very far out there. To bring consolation where there is sorrow, mercy where there is none, f ullness where there is hunger and thirst, peace where there are conflicts and wars, holiness where there is darkness and sin, and love where there is hate.

     All is well that ends well. Though the dead are already holy since they cannot commit sin anymore nor violate any laws, we need not wait for that stage in our lives to really become a holy one. Holiness is something not to be afraid of: To be put on the shelf and forgotten. It is something all too-possible now, only if we choose to put God's law at work in our lives.

     Holiness is not old fashion, passe nor only for the few and chosen. It is for those who want to make a great difference in their and other people's lives, so that when they leave this mortal life, at least, the Church and society is a bit better than when they first encountered it.

Lock, Stock and Barrel

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     Growing up in the Philippine countryside in the early eighties, when the New People's Army rebels were at their strongest, I became familiar with the word "detachment." There were a lot of military detachments then, dotting the route from our hometown to the city with regular checkpoints. When I entered the seminary, through the efforts of our Spiritual Directors, the word took on a new perspective for me that objects of possession don't, in anyway, possess the owner. The owner, with a sense of detachment, is prepared to readily give up anything if it would be for his or other's physical and spiritual welfare.

     Although someone told me, upon knowing about my earlier background, that I grew up deprived, I am never ashamed to share that I came from a household where the only available home appliance was a battery-operated transistor radio. On many dark evenings we gathered near it to enjoy listening to the many popular soap operas of our time. The movie theater nearby only opened on weekends for its double-feature program screenings. In the evenings, when the full moon was out, the roads were full of children shouting, here and there, playing under the moonlight up until late into the night hours. Life, then, was very simple, slow and quiet. People stopped right on their steps whenever the six o'clock evening Angelus was rung from the parish church belfry. Multi-tasking, which is the rage now, is when a person does various tasks simultaneously, like reading while eating and, at the same time, listening to music or watching a program on the television. In earlier times, this wass never known. I remember that I was already in my intermediate grades when electric power first came to our hometown. At that time, we children kept the lights on in our home for a whole day. We liked to appreciate the novelty of light coming to our household and into our indivicual lives. Because of this, life in our once sleepy hometown was never the same again. Newer electrical appliances started to trickle in like black and white televisions, refrigerators, stereos, betamax video machines and anything then being offered in the city's electronic markets, which, due to the road conditions at that time, took us more than two hours to reach by public jeepney transports.

     In the eyes of many people who did not undergo a similar childhood experience like mine, they readily assessed me as growing up really deprived. But, as I have said, I am never ashamed to share all of these things with anyone. For these were the strands of fibers which made me stronger in my struggle against temptations and sins. My earlier experiences prepared me for more later on in life. It prepared me to appreciate the values like sacrifice and sufferings, which were familiar life features being taught to us inside the seminary.

     In the seminary that I attended, going out for a few hours on a weekend, or homevisits, were a privilege. Sometimes, we would go through weeks without the so-called free time. Newspapers, radios, and now it has come to my knowledge, mobile phones are a big no-no. We even have an Archdiocesan Decree banning seminarians from being publicly seen smoking, drinking and dancing. So, I know how disheartening it is for a growing up young teen ager of a seminarian missing a lot of movies, happenings, activities which a person that age is ordinarily enjoying. Since our food and accommodations then were not really that good, I witnessed several seminarians giving up in the formation and going out of the seminary for these reasons alone.

     Despite of all of these, know what? If there is a very popular, bestselling book titled, All I Really need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, I can also say that everything I learned inside the seminary I was able to apply in my priestly ministry, lock, stock and barrel.

Eyes, Ears, Mouths

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Every Monday afternoon, some parishioners and I would go around our parish's nearby vicinities to visit and bring holy communion to those who were not able to participate during the Sunday liturgy due to either age or infirmities. Usually, we would find them in their apartment houses, either just all alone by themselves, or with a caregiver as a full-time companion. With the economic situation gripping our country, a substantial number of our fellow countrypeople and some from our other neighboring Asian countries with similar Third World economic conditions like ours, find work outside of the country, away from their own lovedones, as family caregivers in either private or large privately-run homes.

     Caregivers here, under their signed contract, have no days-off. It is a reality to many of them that the only glimpse that they have had of the foreign country they have been in is the airport, the house of their employers or the park, if ever their wards love the outdoors. In short, if they are Catholic or profess any sort of religion, they do not have a chance to be in Church, even on a Sunday. But, if ever they are given a window of opportunity to go downtown either to send money back home or buy some personal necessities, the next place that they can be found is in Church, kneeling down in the pews praying. Some cry for the lovedones they have left and miss back home, most specially those who are too ill or sick. They also fervently pray for their employers to at least give them a few hours of free time by which they can be in Church on Sundays.

     "Father, may misa po ba?" (Father, is there a mass?) This is the sweetest question I hear from them. "Yes, there will be a mass," is always my reply. I would like to give God to them, for this is the only thing that I can give them. The Beauty, who is God, is the only essential thing that I can offer to them which they can happily bring back home to their wards and employers.

     "Their cheerfulness and happiness is just so contagious...." is some of the feedback that I get from some of their employers. No wonder their aging wards seldomly get sick or, if ever they do get ill, they immediately recover. It is not only because positive feelings make the immune system stronger against any possible infections and viruses. It is, also, because they possess the true Beauty and Love within their hearts springing from their ever resilient faith in God. <>

     For us too, being family-centered people, everyone is a family. Everyone is a "tatay. nanay. kuya. ate. bunso.... " (Father. Mother. Elder brother. Elder sister. Younger sibling) So, in time, a caregiver can smoothly assimilate and, eventually, become just like a member of the family. They then become the unofficial eyes, ears and mouths of their wards and employers. Though a lot of them just gained either a highschool or college level education, almost all of them have a certain proficiency in english. They are the ones who can read the instruction labels or nutritional contents on medicine bottles or food items being purchased in drugstores and convenience stores which are mostly written in english. They are the ones who receive instructions from either doctors or children when their wards are already too old or too poor to hear. And, if their wards feel reluctant to tell their children, who are already too preoccupied taking care of their own families and careers, and not wanting to be an added burden, regarding their health conditions, it is their caregivers who courageously speak up for them.

     God created all of us. He gave us all of our senses. We are, then, all his instruments. May we be open and available to be put it into his service. May we always be open to receive and communicate his grace and blessings to others, most specially, those who need it most, such as the senile population, the infirm and the dying. As in the Sacred Scriptures, Jesus Christ, confronted with a deaf man who had a speech impediment, put his finger into the man's ears and touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, "EPHPHATHA!"- that is- "Be Opened!"

Don't Throw in the Towel

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Several years ago, while attending mass at our parish church, I noticed that a lot of our older pahishioners were at a kneeling down position either praying the rosary or a novena while the mass was underway. Later on, I came to know that this kind of habit was a carry over from the time when the mass was celebrated in a language very foreign to them, which was Latin. In 1965, after the Second Vatican Council was promulgated, when the mass was now being allowed to be celebrated in the local vernacular, people gradually came to understand, through the belabored catechism of priests, nuns and catechists, the greater importance and value of the mass itself, rather than praying either the rosary or novenas; specially while the mass is celebrated. And so, that kind of practice among our older parishioners gradually dissipated. The faithful, since then, have started participating actively, fully and consciously in the liturgies.

Understanding comes with listening well. Listening is a basic human function. We were always reminded by our teachers that listening is more important than talking. There is more learning in listening than in talking. When I was in elementary, a classmate, whom I consulted for help in understanding our lessons, told me that the reason why I was encountering difficulties in grasping our lessons is due to the fact that I do not focus well on my listening ability. My precious attention is always roaming around the room and I am too talkative.

During our seminary days, our formators always encouraged us to exhibit a lot of spontaneous efforts and initiatives. According to them, we have to be responsible with regards to many things in our lives and that of others. We have to do a lot of activities without being told.

There were times, due to the insufficient copies of textbooks, when only the professor had a copy. We had to listen intently and, at the same time, take quick notes or else we would be left much behind in our lessons. The professor, usually didn't give us everything. We were left to our own devices to go and research for more additional sources regarding the topic at hand. This kind of enterprise endeared me to lot of virtues like painstaking patience and industry.

In life, not everything is given. I even read somewhere the question: "Who said that life is fair?" Even in the seminary, with its lengthy academic, pastoral, social and human aspects of formation, not everything is given to sufficiently prepare a seminarian for the priesthood. In the middle of my ministry as a priest, I have to discover and learned many things on my own devices. And, even with regards to our faith, not everything is automatically "hook, line and sinker" given after the mere reception of the sacraments. Together with our godparents, brothers and sisters in the community, it is a long process of listening, sharing and participating in each others' lives to attain a deeper and firmer comprehension of our faith.

How many times have we encountered the words: "HARD. DIFFICULT. IMPOSSIBLE." In our lifetime. For sure, it is numerous, perhaps even, uncountable. Just ignore it. These are just the unsolicited words coming from sideline critics for want of more words to say. Actually, they have nothing more to say. They have given up. They have already thrown in the towel. These negative words are their only last resort to dismiss altogether the issue with which they are now so discouraged or just wish to ignore, because it is already too much and an insurmountable challenge for them. These people are those whom the gospels refer to as those who, "...returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him." Because they have return to a life they are very well used to - that of sin and unconversion.

Take note that, people's thoughts and mouths are full of negative ideas and words. Put away these things in our life and, I tell you, that life will little by little improve. We will no longer be always in square one - a loser. At least, if these negative thoughts and words are away from us, we will always have something to build on, and more and more virtues and habits for a greater and happier progressive life with God, our Creator, Savior and Sanctifier who, first and foremost, did not gave up on us. Rather, He continues to love us even though we are very unloving.

Banns

By Father Allan S. Fenix

      There are two kinds of banns. The first is the all-too frequent one which is the wedding bann. Usually, pictures and personal data of couples intending to get married are posted on the parish bulletin boards and announced for three consecutive Sundays during the mass. The purpose of which is to determine whether an impediment exists which will render the candidate for marriage unfree to marry. The second one is the ordination bann which is, most of the time, very infrequent. Sometimes taking place only every few or several years.

     As a seminarian, I only thrice remember being presented at the altar by our parish priest before the gathered community in Church during the Misa de Pro Populo (Sunday High Mass). The first was after our solemn investiture of a cassock and surplice a month after our minor seminary graduation. The second was before our diaconal ordination. And, the third was before our sacerdotal ordination.

     During the presentation, standing in attention before the gathered community, our personal data was read. While our ordination bann was current during the three succeeding Sundays, with our mug shot-like photo at hand, parish catechists went the rounds of the different villages of the parish giving catechesis about the Sacrament of the Holy Orders. In this way, a significant part of the people in our parish got to know who we are and our family.

     As a diocesan clergy, I owe a major part of my priesthood to the faithful of our Archdiocese. With our Archdiocesan system of Misa de Pro Seminario, wherein all first and second Sunday mass alms of the month are remittable to the Curia Oeconomus in support of seminary formation, the faithful, indirectly, are my benefactors in the long years of my priestly formation.

     While we were still in the minor seminary, this is made very clear to all of us. We were always told by our formators that we only pay our monthly board and lodging plus a sack of rice per semester; the local church shoulders all the rest. Indeed, as a priest in our Archdiocese, we are at the receiving end of the generosity of our parishioners. I have been to parishes wherein we have to practically live by their material support.

     Sometimes we are, also, at the receiving end of their constructive and destructive criticisms. I constantly listen to them and there are more of the latter. Having been a priest for several years now, I always tell them to pray for us, as I was taught by my family eversince I was a child. Married persons have their spouses and children to turn and cling to. We, priests, on the other hand, have only ourselves to go to. Sometimes, we are too unsure of ourselves. As one of our seminary formators succinctly worded it in Spanish, we priests are very good at "CARCULO" (a crude more or less system of estimation). As a celibate, I feel very open and vulnerable to a lot of temptations.

     Enough of our uncharitable comments and criticisms. The Church, the clergy and the laity, have to help each other hand in hand. This is the only way in which we can achieve our mission towards establishing the Kingdom of God in this world.

Health Care 101

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Health care is always a prime issue everywhere for everyone. At whatever amount, everyone wants cure and healing of their own illnesses. No one wants to die. Everyone wants to prolong life and enjoy it as long as it lasts. Thats why there is a big business behind it. Long before nursing became a very much sought after college course in our country, and first world countries started admitting nurses and caregivers to look after their increasingly aging populations (with a promise of citizenship for them and their families), one who is interested in beimg admitted to the department of medicine has to donate a substantial amount of money. It was a common thinking, back then, that being a doctor of medicine was a sure path to riches. But now, with its demanding and lenghty training, specialization and high cost of financial investment, who still wants to be a doctor? There was a time when the "topnotcher" on the nursing board exam was a doctor. It was also no wonder that the regional hospital in our province had to import doctor-trainees from a similarly third world country like Nepal, just to help compensate for the lack of candidates. No one wants to get sick: We abhor it. But, suddenly, everyone wants to take good care of themselves from in a different situation and environment.

Who wants to be confined in a hospital or homes for the aged? We always pray for good health and fortune for ourselves, family and loved ones. According to an article in a magazine, a person with faith heals more quickly than someone who has none. The former is relieved to know that someone is praying for him. Health is the only thing that we have. It spells either wealth or bankruptcy for all of us. We know that if it goes, everything else in us will collapse. To whom else, then, shall we go but to God, our Lord, Jesus Christ, who holds everything at bay for us.

It is very clear in the Sacred Scriptures for the synagogue official named Jairus, who seeing Jesus fell at his feet and pleaded with him, saying, " My daughter is at the point of death. Please come lay your hands on her that she may get well and live." And, the woman afflicted with hemorhhages for twelve years. She said, " If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. What a great savings, isn't it?

Lets all go to Jesus Christ for our health concerns. But, then, don't forget to also get your regular physical check up. And, always take good care of yourself. God always helps those who first help themselves.

A Table Rememberance

By Father Allan S. Fenix

It used to be the devotion of many of our aging and widowed members in the community who wake up very early in the morning, sometimes coming to the parish church even before the sacristan is up and the puerta major is opened.

It is almost always the first item on the program at any public gathering, either on graduation from all levels of schooling from nursery to college. And at family reunions, class reunions, anniversaries or other activities it is there or else, it seems, the activity is incomplete. Among the seven sacraments, it is the most celebrated daily either as a votive or at wedding or funeral masses.

It used to be that, for many male members of the congregation, the homily part is like a pitstop to go outside to the patio and to chat and smoke with friends while the celebrant dronee on for about half an hour, going back inside the church only when the congregation would stand up to pray the creed.

It is very colorful. In the spirit of the Second Vatican Council, everybody is encouraged to get involved. There is a uniform to help distinguish every available ministry either as Eucharistic lay minister, lector, acolyte, choir, usherette, collector...

For some, it is a devotion. For many, a habit and, even, a therapy. It is the Eucharistic Sacrifice or the mass, that many of us are familiar with. It is the highest form of prayer. It is the center of every Catholic person's life. In the fourth commandment, every Catholic is obliged to keep holy the Lord's day by being at mass. In some Catholic schools, an attendance roll call is even made for those who are present or not on a Sunday mass. Some even go so far as to ask the signature of the celebrant to attest that the particular student had been to mass that day. In the seminary, absenting oneself from mass, for any reason other than illness, is a grave infraction.

For us mere mortals, understanding the mystery of ordinary bread and wine turned into the very body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ, is quiet impossible. But, as with life, there are, also, just too many incomprehensible things in the world that we daily encounter with which we cannot immediately give a definitive answer to. We just say, "Amen. So be it."

As a child, having a lot of questions myself, my parents told me to just continue reading my books, receive an education and nurture good relationships with others. And for sure, according to them, I will find the answers to many of my questions.

The mass is a table remembrance. A gathering of a community around an altar table recalling the words of our Lord, Jesus Christ, to his apostles at the last supper, "Do this in memory of me."

In the mass, we are called on to renew our relationship with our Lord and our fellow brothers and sisters by receiving his body and blood during communion. This is the bond of our unity as a eucharistic loving family. For how can we say that we love God, whom we cannot see, if we cannot even love our own brothers and sisters whom we can see and who are right beside us.

The Spanish Connection

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     My father, a nonschooled farmer from the Chinese Fujian province, knows a lot of Spanish words, although in a wrong way. In 1947, thinking that his future was in the Philippines, he decided to immigrate. Arriving in our hometown, he was astounded to find it so lonely and full of apes and monkeys. He opened a small store, bought himself a hunting rifle, and, on his free time, had the luxury of shooting a lot of them.

     Call it the Spanish connection. My father knows only a few words of the dialect, and half of them are Spanish foul language. One or two of them are always included whenever he speaks. It is because he got his initiation on the streets. Back then, there were no language schools for the new immigrants to help them assimilate well with society. Whatever the people he encountered taught him, he aped it too well, thinking that it would greatly help him learn the dialect. I am just thankful that none among us siblings inherited that kind of habit.

     Call it the Spanish connection. Listening to reports made by our Chinese parishioners during the recent pastoral visit, I was heartened to hear a lot of entries wherein they acknowledged the impact that many of our Filipino migrants working in factories and homes around here are having on their Catholic religiosity. They admire and wish to imitate how they do their liturgies, singing, prayers and devotions, most specially to the Most Blessed Virgin Mary. Not to mention the number of Sunday massgoers among them. In our history, it was the Spanish Catholic missionaries who brought to our land this brand of religion and culture. I remember reading in one article that every Catholic Filipino is a missionary. With the phenomenon of migrancy happening worldwide, every Catholic migrant is transplanting that faith in another land and making an impression on the lives of others.

     Call it the Spanish connection. I grew up in a Filipino Catholic family. We prayed together the rosary before the altar of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus every Friday. Went to mass on Sundays and received the Eucharist. Followed what the Church teaches us to do. I am, also, very grateful that one of us, in the family, was gifted with the vocation to the priesthood. One time, I found myself and one of my siblings having a discussion on the topic of Catholic countries all over the world which have a similar third world situation like our country, the Philippines. We pondered on the question, "Does it have anything to do with being Catholics?" We anchored our conclusion on the introduced juego culture from the Spaniards: gambling and all the corruptions that it ensue are wreaking a lot havoc in our Philippine society. These things have kept us poor. We have the "Llamado Dejado" ( cock fighting ), Pusoy Dos, Entre Cuatro, Jueteng... Amidst all of these, one thing that we we are just glad of is that we have  the Catholic faith.

     Call it the Spanish connection. Just like our father earlier on, a number of my siblings, seeing that they cannot grow in this kind of environment that they found themselves in, decided to immigrate and to live and work in another land, bringing with them our mother. In their luggage, they brough along with them the icons of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and enthroned it in their new homes. In our communication with each other, it is almost always about a reminder and sharing of our family devotion of praying the rosary before the altar of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Going to mass on Sunday and receiving the Eucharist...

     The Church is both human and divine. Divine, it is perfect since it is of God. Human, it is all too imperfect. The love of God is perfect. It was God who first loved us. The human expression of that love from God is imperfect. Because we all knew too well that humans are imperfect. God's love for us is perfect. But, our parents', siblings', spouses'. fiances' and fiancees', colleagues', friends'... All of these are imperfect. We cannot impute all of the blame on history. The Spaniards came to our land bringing along with them the Catholic faith. We are so grateful. But, we cannot deny that along with that came the not so-good stuff that we have imbedded in our culture. The Church is composed of saints and sinners and we just have to live with that. We have to struggle along with our given culture to be saints. As at the concluding portion of the mass, we always hear the presiding priest say, "...go and proclaim the gospel to the whole world."

Trip to Heaven

By Father Allan S. Fenix

It was still very early that one evening, after my mass at a sisters' convent. While I was leaving the compound on a scooter, I saw, by the curbside, a woman who seemed to be waving her hand at me. I thought she was someone whom I knew, or she knew me. So, I went by and stopped. It turned out that a number of nondescript brothels operate in this area and this lady, for a few hundred, was offering a different kind of trip to heaven- pleasure without the responsibility.

I might make you very uncomfortable. May I ask you some questions? Are you using some form of artificial contraceptive? A condom? Birth control pills? Have you had a vasectomy? A ligation? Or, worst of all, an abortion?

     The primary purpose of marriage is not recreation but procreation. The propagation of the human species. Every person who decides to take the road of marriage should have this in mind. I overheard one of our former seminary formators say that God is really so wise: He made sexual activity so pleasurable so as to act as a consolation between the couples for the excruxiating pain that the mother will undergo during the course of childbirth. And, after that, in raising the children. I met some young generation couples, who, according to them, due to economic reasons, decided to forgo having children but, instead, just have either a pet dog or a pet cat. And so, the use of artificial contraceptives severe the line of connection to life. And so, therefore, we cut our relationship with Jesus Christ who is the life. Just think about it:    If every parent of ours had thought that selfish way in the past, would many of us be here in the present?. It  is the teaching of the Church that every sexual activity between married couples should potentially result in the bearing of a child.

     The second purpose of marriage is communication. People want to communicate. Because we want to have good relationships among each other. The phenomenon of migrancy gripping the world over is indeed a modern tragedy of utmost magnitude to the family, since it puts great physical distance and barriers between spouses. Modern technology might be of great help, but it is not enough to fill the physical longings of each spouse for the other. In marriage, two persons become one. And so, married couples should live as one to fill each other physically and emotionally. <>

      Each of us wants to go to heaven, eventually. And, we all can do it through the states of life we are in which, in my case, is the priesthood. I do encourage every parent to find your way to heaven through your family - be it in your own spouses, children, or relatives. Using other artificial means prohibited by our Church will derail our lifelong quest for heaven.

Witnesses

By Father Allan S. Fenix

   In a gathering of diplomats, one diplomat of a certain country was requested, impromptu, to lead in the singing of his own national anthem. He was embarassed before the whole group because, on his own, he forgot a lot of the words in the lyrics of the national anthem. This particular experience is, sometimes, true to many of us. In a community or group, we can spontaneously and easily pray the rosary, the angelus and other formulaic prayers: But on our own we can, sometimes, hardly remember a lot of the words to complete the prayers.

     In the parish where I am assigned, I once attended a civic meeting. One member, upon knowing that I am a Filipino, invited me to view a video that he had uploaded about a year before on his blog. One afternoon, according to him, as he was passing by the train station, he happened to chance upon a large group of very happy people processing along the street. He got so taken by his curiosity with what was transpiring before him that he considred himself fortunate that he had his video-capable moble phone with him. He immediately pulled it out and recorded it all.

   The members of the group we were composed of were cultural-curious individuals. The focus of the meeting was diverted by what twe were seeing in the video, and they decided to do away with the agenda for the day and, instead, let me explain to them what it was it all about. It turned out that the video we were viewing was about the culminating activity of our Philippine May Flower Festival, wherein a procession is held along the major streets of the place.

   I told the group that the reason why we are a happy people is because we are the people of the resurrection. We have nothing to fear because our God is alive. He has resurrected from the dead. So everyday this is reason enough to always celebrate and be happy.

   In the culture of the place where I am, they believe in ghosts. In every aspect of their lives, they believe that a certain ghost is in-charge of it. For us Catholics, we have our patron saints. In fact, they also have their own annual ghost festival. They do a lot of rituals. They offer a lot of fruits, incense and other foodstuffs to appease the ghosts around them. They have this belief that if they earn their wrath, grave misfortunes will come to them and their families.

   We ended the afternoon meeting with a catechesis that in their belief there is no reason for them to fear, but, instead, be happy. Fear is something one feels if one is unsure of a certain matter or it is unknown. Something very unfamiliar. If one really understand well one's faith, one is comfortable and happy with it. We separated ways with a plan of action. The group decided to, in a formal way, video tape that particular religious activity of our Church when the time comes for it. This will be a good means of introducing it to their families and acquiantances. This is also one simple way by which modern technology was used in the service of evangelization.

   On my part, I realized that, once in a while, we will be called upon to witness to our faith before others who do not understand it, and we must be prepared to deliver. We have to constantly challenge ourselves not to be too comfortable with our faith, but to time and time again deepen and strengthen it.

Happy Death Day

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I asked this question; when I once gave a reflection to a group of graduating elementary school students: "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I requested them to write their answer on a piece of paper. I presumed that they did not copy from each other. But, while going through the pieces of paper one by one, I was touched by a number of similar responses which stated that they planed on putting up a foundation to help poor but deserving persons.

"My God !!! My God !!! Why have you forsaken me? !!!" All of us pray for a peaceful happy death. Reflecting on what our Lord, Jesus Christ underwent during his passion, no one in his right mind would wish for that kind of expiration -- tragically sad and bloody with all of the verbal and physical abuses on the sides.

In our earlier years, our elders used to tell us that our possibilities in life were just endless. There is a wide open world awaiting us. And so, we went on to dream big and lots of it. We have to find our own passion. What do we really want to do with our life? What do we really want to do with ourselves?

Years passed us by so fast, and we found ourselves all grown up. We might have already fulfilled one or two of our plans. But, there are still a lot of unfulfilled ones. We also realize that our time and energy is not that boundless. We come to the point where life is very limited.

Jesus Christ, as God, infinite and all-powerful as he is, could have done many things all simultaneously. But being also human, he recognized his mortality. By becoming human, Jesus Christ accepted the limitation that time imposes on each earthly mortals. What he did is to zero in on our salvation. Our redemption from sin was his passion. On the night at the Garden of Gethsemane, he was so human as to express his initial unwillingness to accept the kind of death that he would undergo. But he did not lose track of his passion. Jesus Christ, through and through, kept his eye on the ball.

Up on the cross, Jesus Christ might seem a big loser. But, the cross was his death bed where he had a happy, peaceful death. It is because he was able to fulfill his life's passion -- the salvation of our souls.

It is not wrong to dream a lot and big. We always hear that times are getting very, very difficult by the day. But, if we know our passions in life and if we just zero in a few of them, we will realize that which is realizable in accordance with our state in life. In the end, like Jesus Christ, we will all surely have a happy and peaceful death and the world will be better off because of us.

Substantial Works

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The is a story of a nurse who once, in the middle of the night, was called upon by an in need patient to whom the nurse curtly responded; "I'm sorry. I cannot help you. I am now off duty!"

My understanding of the Legion of Mary got deeper only when I was already in the seminary. In our town parish, it is mostly attended by an aging number of our parishioners. They hold their meetings by the cornerside of the church. During parish celebrations and activities, we children were always up close to them, for they are usually the ones in charge of the snacks and refreshments.

Substantial works, which is an essential part of the Legion of Mary, affected me a lot later in life, most specifically, as a priest. Since our movement of space is very limited inside the seminary, our weekly assigned substantial works are usually the ordinary things found in our schedules like cleaning the toilets, gardening, washing the dishes, visiting the sick in the infirmary, praying the rosary, reception of the eucharist. These activities might be things that we ordinarily do inside. But, we were advised to do it extraordinarily by giving more of our time and efforts. The regular execution of our assigned substantial works spurred in me the habit of doing something beyong the call of duty.

I was already in my theology years when I had a classmate who helped me appreciate more the doing of substantial works. One day, he invited me to come and go with him to a part of a big subdivision located just beside our major seminary. In that part of the subdivision are some squatters living on their cardboards and lean tos. I saw how this Legionary classmate of mine used his own resources to provide them with mats, blankets and other basic stuffs they needed. After our lunch inside our refectory, we usually go around tables picking up and putting clean leftovers in plastic bags which we bring to the squatters. At a distance, as we approach them, I cannot erase in my mind the smiles and glee I saw on their faces as they eat their meal for the day.

My life, as a priest, could be very light and easy if I only focus on my sacramental duties as found in our Canon Law Book provisions. But, I believe that, as a Legionary, I am called more than to be a sacramental minister.

One day, I noticed a parishioner of ours whose baby child's hands were undeveloped. There were only a few visible finger digits. But, they were all caked in flesh. He needs an operation to separate it well one after the other. And the proper time is during the child's infancy period when nerves and bones haven't yet fully come to term.

Upon agreeing and with the consent of the family concerning my offer of help, and knowing that money is a big issue in an operation, I immediately networked by talking with a good hearted surgeon who, in turn, agreed to do it gratis et amore. Since our place was distant from the city where the operation was to be done, I was able to arrange for the use of an ambulance to take them there.

We, Catholics who are in love with Mary, are all Legionaries. Whatever states we have in life, we are her foot soldiers to do battle against the atrocities of the world. We have to respond beyond the call of our duties just like what Jesus Christ did for us upon the cross that dark but blissful and glorious Friday. As God, he could have had it very easy. But because of his love for all of us, he took up his cross and died for us. Jesus Christ, indeed, is the primary example in doing substantial works in our lives.

Homecoming

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I learned much the importance of constantly sharing of oneself when one day two parishioners from our parish came over to invite me to come and go with them and give communion to a sick person. They are members of the Legion of Mary, and they wanted to fulfill their assigned substantial work for the week.

We drove far and long on the highway. As we were going, I noticed that both of them were confused and unfamiliar with the way. At traffic stops and intersections, they kept on asking people by the roadsides for direction. I liken it to the Three Kings looking for the infant Jesus: They don't know the proper direction, but they kept on asking around and following the star.

We arrived at an institutional home for the sick where we looked for the lone Catholic among about a hundred residents in that complex. He was lame and wheel-chair bound. I did the ritual for giving communion to the sick while the two legionaries where aside praying with me. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a nurse approached us and said that she remembered that her grandmother used to tell her that she was baptized Catholic when she was still an infant. Living in a society where Catholics are a minority, she did not give a serious thought to her being a baptized Catholic until that one particular time in the afternoon when she happened to pass by the ward where we were. According to her, the family and relatives of the persons we were seeing at that time don't even come for a regular visit. Maybe they have forgotten him already inside that institution. She was so touched and moved seeing us there giving communion, praying and just staying there with that person for a time. She excitedly said that on the coming holiday season she would go back to her hometown and ask her family about the details of her Catholic baptism. We also welcomed her to come and attend our parish sunday masses.

On our way back, I came to know that both the two Legionaries who were with me were baptized as adults. One decided to pursue the road to baptism when one day she overheard a talk given which said that every person is unique in the eyes of God. God loves us and gave each one of us gifts. The second one was baptized years after her marriage. According to her she went through a lot of difficulties but she remembered that when she was in elementary she used to attend a Catholic school. At that time in her life, she felt so happy. So, she told herself that maybe if she got baptized things would go well with her. And, true enough, she is one of our dedicated parishioners. Feverish Catholics, as I call them.

Living in a place where Sunday masses are always filled up to the brim, it was at first unacceptable to me to be in a place where Sunday masses had only a handful of attendees. I noticed that I kept on counting Sunday mass churchgoers and asking for those who were not around . But I repaired myself to the Scriptural passage which says that where two or three are gathered in his name, God is there in our midst. Slowly, I changed my attitude and reaction. I used to think that Sunday masses should always be a full house. But, now, two or three massgoers is more than enough to celebrate the mass and share our faith. I always think that people are passing by around and if they noticed and are convinced by what they are witnessing, they will come home to the faith and begin sharing of themselves.

Come One, Come All

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In many parts of the world, Christmas trees are only visible during the Christmas season. But, in the Philippine countrysides, where public forms of transportation used to be so inadequate, vehicles, whether it be jeeps, buses or, even, pump boats are daily transformed into virtual human Christmas trees.

Technically, the vehicle is already too much overloaded. But no willing passengers, on the roadsides along the way, are ever refused. There is always a spot, a seat for just one more and another.

In bus terminals and port areas, specially during big holidays such as All Souls' Day, Christmas, Holy Week, etc., when people from urban areas go back to visit their families in the provinces, passengers fight for a space. On the road, one can see vehicles, with only its wheels visible, transformed into a Christmas tree made of up people bearing their precious luggage back home. The bad side of it all is that, sometimes, accidents and, eventually, deaths do occur with many of the casualties unaccounted for since their names do not appear in the official manifest.

     Baptism for a Catholic is very important. It is, for us, an initiation. It is the doorway to all the other sacraments. Many talented individuals go through a lot of rigid auditions just to land a coveted spot in a prestigious competition. But, with a legitimate birth certificate and a small amount of fee, an infant can be baptized. In many cases in our Archdiocese, since the priest can go to far flung and remote areas during their annual village feasts and celebrations, where a big number of baptisms occur, baptismal records are used as a point of reference to register still unregistered children at the Municipal Civil Registrar when parents seldom have the opportunity to go to town.

      In our catechetical instruction, we were taught that the Church is modeled after a mother with its arms outstretched open, willing to accept all of her children into her bosom. Our Church is a Christmas tree made up of all kinds of people; rich and poor alike: The saints and the still aspiring ones. Our Books of Baptism are never really filled up. But the sad thing is that, as I observed in my several years as a priest, many of the infants being brought for baptism have unmarried parents. It is so easy to know, as they are asked about their marital status during their registration at the Parish Office. On many occasions, they are just civilly married, living in or single parents.

     In baptism, our names are written in the manifest of heaven. From that point on , we are now meant for heaven. It is the teaching of the Church that infants baptized in the Church should also be married in the Church. But, for many of our Catholic parents, there seems to be a stop gap. They are so happy and willing to bring their children along with beaming godparents to Church for baptism. But, they themselves, have forgotten to consider their own marital status.

Our salvation does not only happen when we receive our baptism. It is an ongoing process done through the help of the other succeeding sacraments. There is no stop gap. Our names are already included in the official manifest of heaven. We are not stoways. Or last minute passengers with no ticket on hand. Or else, if something happens and death is an unevitable consequence, it is a big disaster that heaven might be refused to us later on.

Chasing the Dragon

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Currency markets crash. Machines overheat and bog down. People overeat, overdose and, eventually, die.

Have you ever been a drug-user or dependent? Or, have nearly become one? Or, have, at least, tried to? They always say that the most unforgetable one is the first high. It is the best experience for a drug-enthusiast. After that, if one does not inhibit oneself, it is a road downhill to self-destruction: Because one keeps on increasing the ante of drug use and dosage to keep up with that first high. Until one realizes when it is already too late to extricate oneself from the mire. The first high is simply unrepeatable. One is hooked to the substance. It cannot give back anymore than it gave the first time around. As a song says; "The first cut is the deepest." Thats why, they call subsequent drug "chasing the dragon." One is running after at something that is uncatchable.

Why do we have an economic problem? (Where does all the money goes to?) Even a garbage problem? (Where do we put all this stuff?) Business and financial speculators say that their first million is simply the best. No other subsequent millions can repeat the emotional high they have obtaining it. Simply nothing compares with the feeling. So, they want to keep on repeating the experience. Until they realize that it is a quicksand venture. No amount of more millions will satisfy one's greed anymore until one drowns in it. We've heard of many who have embezzled some other person's hard-earned wealth for their own selfish satisfaction.

Sometimes we tease them. But, have you seen someone pray for hours on end? Why do they do that? I have heard a parishioner say, " Father, God talked to me!" And I responded, "Really??!!" It is simply because they found the true treasure. It is simply because only God can fill us to the brim of satisfaction. We came from him and it is but natural that he alone can complete us. Earthly satisfaction, since it is imperfect, can only go so far. It is only good up to a certain extent. No matter what we do, we will be confronted with frustration. For earthly pleasure, once is enough. But for a God-experience, once is merely the beginning to a full experience of being together with him in heaven. The experience of bliss is simply indescribably endless. No amount of time can equate the God experience.

Altar Voice

By Father Allan S. Fenix

We used to play, running out around all through house and, if there was one, into the garden. We did not worry about any utilities, rents or even the monthly mortgage payments.

Flipping through the pages of our history books, I learned that deep in the jungles, our primitive ancestors used to make their homes in caves and up in trees to stay away from the bite of the roaming, hungry and foraging beasts of their time. Comparing that data to the present time, I can say that nothing seems to have change. The accidents might be totally different but the substance remains the same. Nowadays, especially in urban areas, people have to live in very limited floor spaces in high rise buildings. People of our time now have to live up high to stay away from the astronomically unaffordable property prices. Floor prices are inversely proportionate to where the apartment units are located. The higher it is located, the lower the price is. And the lower it goes and so the price soars up. Sometimes I compare it to cans and cans of sardines stocked one after the other in our kitchen pantries.

Christmas upon Christmas, we always find the Holy Family - Joseph, Mary and the Infant Jesus- in the manger reminding us of the time when people could not afford to accommodate them in their homes. They were sent away. They were put away to pasture. There's just no space available for them in their hearts or homes.

Sometimes it is at the center of their receiving rooms fully lighted the whole day. Along the aisles leading to their bedrooms. Or, sometimes buried deep amongst a cacophony of our modern digital appurtenances. In coming to every house, the first thing that I always look for is where the family has enthroned the Holy Altar. There are sadly some, who due to proselytization, have completely removed their Holy Altars from their homes. It has no more place in their hearts and in their faith. And so, in their homes. It might be relegated to the stock room. Or worse, broken up to pieces and thrown like a piece of thrash. Their attitude also changes. I, as a priest and friend, feel as though I am no longer welcomed in their homes. There's no more place for me in their friendship. I, as a priest, suffer the remorse of conscience that perhaps I have been negligent with my priestly duties and obligations.

I cherished the time growing up in a house, wherein the living room, aside from a lone battery-operated transistor radio, it is merely graced by a very simple Sacred Heart of Jesus altar. Going in and out of the house, it is the first thing that will greet us. When the 10-watt bulb is put on by our grandmother we all know that it is Friday and in the afternoon after arriving from our classes, whether we like it or not, we will all kneel down to recite the rosary altogether as a family.

Many years have since passed by, we have all grown up, gone away to our own vocations. But, the one thing that I always observe everytime I go to visit them in their houses is a simple altar conspicuously placed in the middle of their homes. God has a place in their homes. God has a place in our hearts. What is a house without an altar? What is an altar without a house?

Tempus Fugit

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Eversince I came to know how to tell the time of the day by looking at the clock, I have been curious to know who exactly invented time. When my mother bought me my first wristwatch, I kept on looking at it and counting time. Because I know time is so precious and limited for me, I know there are just so many things that need to be done and accomplished. And so, everyday, I seem to be always running after time. But the time I have as always seems to be just not enough.

I noticed that we always talk about future things. In the same way that we fear the future, we are also obsessed about it. Because what we know about the future is not enough. There are times when we keep on thinking about the future but forget the present. The present is important. Because without it the future could not be possible. Every person's present achievements are due to the diligence invested with time in the past. Today's diligence is the seed for a successful future results.

God gave me time. I have to use it well. Time and God are similar. They are both infinite. They both harbor no end. When our death arrives our time on earth is also, automatically, finished. It is for this reason that we should not waste our God-given time. Time is always ever-new every moment. It is unrepeatable. It cannot , in anyway, be turned back.

Hebrew 13:8 says, "Christ Jesus is the same today as yesterday and forever." God is the beginning and the end point. He is always with us. Time, in the same way, is at our side. We should thank God that he gave us a past, a present and a future. Let us live well our life by going back to the Sacraments. Ask God to forgive of our sins. Receive him in the Holy Eucharist, and strenghten our resolve to be always in the state of Grace. Let him dwell and work in our life.

A Bag of Cement and a Piece of Steel Bar

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At a time when the thrust of our Archdiocese was towards creating more and more smaller parishes in order to bring the sacraments to more and more people, constructions, and the accompanying arrays of fundraising activities connected with them were just one of the daunting tasks facing newly-appointed parish priests. I even saw how some got easily burned out and gave up.

In my years as a priest, raising funds for either our parish constructions, catechetical funds or transportation needs, was never that hard. It was also enjoyable.

Priests are not trained to be salespeople. But, placed in a particular situation with that kind of particular need, I gathered all of my remaining guts and approached our parishioners one by one; not only in their houses but even in the streets or store corners, pedicab lines and terminals, and even in some makeshift gambling dens. And, in a very simple way, sold to them the plan for their parish church. After a time, designated pastoral council members in each village expressed their willingness to go with me on my rounds. In this way, also, people came to realize how long they have been away from the Sacraments. Some of them asked to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And some, who are either civilly-married or just living in, inquired about the possibility of receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony in the coming days.

Why do people join organizations, fraternities, groups, communities or take up some issues and causes? I believe that everyone of us wants to become a part of something good and big. So, it is not really hard and difficult for them to chip in with the little that they do have. I started with the suggestion of donating a single sack of cement or a piece of steel bar per family. However, that one bag of cement or piece of steel bar is just the minimum. They can increase it to two, three or more. The amount and quantity donated, usually, depends on how convinced they are of the plan. There are those who have nothing to give materially but pledge their human energy for a day or two of free labor at the construction site. I have also talked with a local construction material dealer, who was willing to give us a special price for those construction materials if we promised to purchase it all from his business.

With some stationey, a typewriter, an address and a stamp, we were able to source out funds abroad. It is the same process. I just sell to them the idea. I convinced them that there is a particular community out here doing something for the Body of Christ. This project will help unite and bring about improvement in the faith-life of the community. We sent out a number of them. It is fascinating to know that even our local postman is so excited whenever mail arrives from abroad addressed to our parish church.

There are, of course, a lot of rejection letters expressing their support and encouragement for the plan but that they don't have the appropriate resources needed. We compiled them all. It is also a small achievement to receive some encouragement. Out of these rejection letters are some trickle of support. I don't know anymore how much we have gathered. As far as I know, our Archbishop knows all about these as all money from funding institutions are transferred through his dollar account.

It is really not that hard. What is difficult is if your priest-companion has a different mind set. We cannot deny the fact that, though for years and years now, the Universal Church has been calling for us to go out into the whole world and make disciples of all nations, there are still a lot of us who are too ashamed to go out there and "beg" for the Church. There are some who are in their rooms tinkering on something, counting the number of requiem masses they have for the month, calculating the percentage due to be remitted to the Curia Oeconomus...

Work is never really completely done in the parish. There are just a lot of things to do. There is no end to it. Sometimes, parish priorities and projects change as pastors also change. This is to show that life has no end. We are continually serving and forming the Body of Jesus Christ. We are the Church. We are the Body of Christ. Any work is not only to be done by one or two but by the whole community. If people see something good being done, for sure, they will follow and support it. Let us all work together to form the Body of Christ: both materially and spiritually.

Human and Divine

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The Catholic Church is both human and divine. Human, because it is composed of all the baptized. Divine, because it is founded by God, Our Lord, Jesus Christ. That is why the Sacred Scriptures, which is the Word of God, and its offshoot, the Sacred Tradition, are the two pillars of our Church. Our Church is a good combination between the Sacred Scriptures and Sacred Tradition. Because, while the Sacred Scriptures is of the divine, the Sacred Tradition is of the human. Humans, in time, inspired by their love for the Sacred Scriptures, expressed it by ways of traditions and practices. These practices, where, in time, adapted and institutionalized in our Church.

The Veneration of the Saints is one of our Church's traditions. Nowhere in other major and organized religions will one find as numerous a saint and martyrology as we have. This matter is one of the greatest contentions between our Church and other fundamentalist believers. According to them, nowhere is it found in the Sacred Scriptures. During the times when visuals and print were hard to come by, the veneration of saints, by the use of icons and statues, is a catechetical method used by the Church. Up until the present, it is a practice which has grown and become part of the Sacred Tradition by the Church. The methods haven't changed. It is our great Catholic heritage and we take pride in it.

We are all familiar with saints. Perhaps the streets, towns and cities we live in, or the school we once attended, were named after them. And this is not counting the parish church where we used to attend a weekend or summer catechetical program. Abroad, in one of the American states, a majority of our compatriots live under the patronage of Catholic saints. Be it in San Francisco, San Bernardino, San Jose, San Diego..... The saints will never leave us. They are always there.

When we were in elementary, our religion teacher told us that there are two kinds of saints. One with the big letter "S" because they were recognized and canonized by the Church. Their names are officially written in the Book of Saints. And, the other ones are with the small letter "s". They are those millions of unrecognized and unknown saints, who have lived and died for the faith and are now in heaven with God.

Further on, I learned that if we are in the state of Grace which happens after we confess of our sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, are also saints with the small letter "s" in our own right. Because after we confess of our sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we are as clean as when we received the Sacrament of Baptism. We are holy as the saints meant for heaven. We try hard to maintain and sustain that state of Grace until we go back again to the Sacrament to seek forgiveness for our subsequent failings.

Our beloved departed are holy for they do not sin anymore. They are saints. They might be in purgatory but, eventually, just like the Saints, will be in heaven with God.

In the last months of our Church calendar, October and November, our Church has come around and complete. The celebration of All Saints' Day and The All Souls' Day on November 1 and 2, respectively, just after the month of our Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary. And, in a few days of repose, we have the celebration of Christ the King. These are meant to show us that our Church is made of these: Jesus Christ, Our Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother, the Saints, the faithful departed and we, still fighting for our state of Grace and holiness in this life. May we all ask their help and intercessions to eventually bring us back home to the Father whole and unscathed.

A Good Act a Day

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I was reading the papers one day. I read a news segment from a First World country about a suspected arsonist, who caused the death of a numbr of casualties, when he set on fire an entertainment establishment. When he was interviewed he gave a statement saying that; "I am tired of living.... "

Youngsters and even adults, when work and classes are cancelled due to a typhoon signal, cannot be contained. They cannot be kept indoors at home. They are on the prowl. They are either in the movies, shopping arcades or amusement parks. They are just everywhere.

One time, during a very strong typhoon in our place, when it was really difficult to go outdoors, I was kept indoors the whole day. Not wanting to waste any moment, I decided to to listen to my shortwave radio and made a detailed reception report of two international english programs, one in the morning and another in the afternoon. In the evening, I continually scanned the frequencies hoping to find more international english programs over the airwaves. It was also an opportunity to rearrange many stuffs aroud the room, which had been for a long time awaiting my time and attention.

Life is our one common project. One day, I decided to do, at least, a good deed each day for myself and others. I know, we cannot all be on the front-page cover of a sports or fashion magazine but, everyday, I always lift myself out of bed to have being the best as my goal. I am afraid of blood, but one day I decided to go and donate 250 cc of blood to save a life somewhere. One day, I went to the dentist to have some cleaning and invest some of my saved allowance for a dental treatment.. One night, desiring to be holy, I went to our parish church and joined a Charismatic Prayer meeting. From time to time I go, inquiring here and there for any gatherings that I can join. There are just many things to do to fill our lives and make it meaningful for the rest of our lives. There is no reason for us to get tired. Procrastination is a mortal sin in this project. If we stop doing good, we start to deteriorate and, eventually, die. All we need to do is to go and sign in for life. Check in for God.

Our Church, Our Family

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I come from a very big family, the biggest all over the world. Along with my own carnal siblings whom I call "brothers" and "sisters," I have more than a billion of others, who I barely know, They are of different races, coming from all over the globe. Aside from our own fathers, who work hard for our keep and give us our weekly allowances, we still have others whom we call "Reverend Fathers." They celebrate the sacraments in Churches on weekdays and on Sundays. We usually fall in line to ask blessings from their hands. In their homilies, they always exhort us that all of us are called to be holy. But, only one of them comes to be called the "Holy Father." He lives very far away from us and heads the smallest state, with its equally fewest in population, the Vatican. As a Father, he is gentle and loving as our Heavenly Father is. He is our shepherd and we are his flock. But, sometimes if the occasion requires it, upon the recommendations of relevant local Church authorities, who after many reminders and warnings, continue to be disobedient to the official Church Magisterium, he issues some admonitions, suspensions or total excommunications among his wayward flock.

Aside from our own mothers, who do lots of chores at home, in our family, we have who we call "Mother Superiors" and, also, "Mother Generals." They are the ones who decide for the good of the Church.

Our family is thousands of years old. It traces its origin all the way to its Divine founder, Jesus Christ, who prayed that all may be one. Our family believes in One God in three Divine Persons - Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Our family's sacraments and traditions are uniform. Thats why, we are called the Universal Church. Most of all, it is a Mother. It is our Holy Mother, the Church. I belong to the Holy, Roman, Catholic, Apostolic Church. Thats my family.

What's In a Name

By Father Allan S. Fenix

It is so important to all of us. From the very moment we were born, its the one thing which concerns most our parents. They consult calendars, magazines, ask around among their relatives and friends, or just rely on their own creativity. May be by merging the first letters of both of the parent's names. At home or in school, it is the first thing that is taught to us. It is the first entry at the civil registrar, baptismal book, transcript of records and other valuable official documents. It is the one thing that will go down with us until our death. In death, it will be the only thing that will appear above the ground we will be laid in, written on a gravestone. It is no other than our own name.

We are taught to take good care of our own name. Because there are some who do many things to of it. Some steal it. Some change it. Some sell it. And, some just plainly destroy it behind our back.

The Second Commandment states: "You shall not use the name of the Lord in vain." Simon Peter, an apostle, recognized the highness of their master as the Christ, the Son of the living God. But, it was another apostle, Judas Iscariot, who "went off to discuss with the chief priests and the officers of the guard how to deliver Jesus to them." Luke 22: 4.

There are a lot of instances, in the past and in the present, wherein we use the name of God to praise and thank him for the blessings we have received and, at the same time, use that same name to blame him for all the unfortunate goings on in our lives that we are encountering.

In our elementary catechism, we were taught that the fifth commandment: "You shall not kill." does not only entail the physical violence and destruction of another. But, also the disrespect of our neighbor's name.

All of us have sinned. We are overwhelmed by our own weaknesses. Let's accept it. This realization should reduce us in all humility to show charity to our neighbors who are encountering the same challenges as ours. Jesus said: "As often as you did it to one of this least brethren, you did it to me." All of us, certainly, feel insecure on what others are saying about us. Our name is our only true treasure. Let us be charitable and respect it. In this way, we are certainly following God's commandments.

Faith Incorporated

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I went to live in a certain place to study a language. After a year and a half of intensive study, I felt that nothing was happening with me. I feel that I am still struggling too much. My progress and improvement in the language is so poor and slow. Attending big gatherings of people, I can barely grasp the meaning of what they are talking about. I just tell myself that as an outsider there's no way by which I can really learn the language. I was beginning to surrender to this belief.

I met persons who have been living in the place for the past twenty, ten, seven years..... who were also in the same situation as mine. This gave me a boost to go on and continue whatever it takes. Everyday, I am learning something. I am looking forward to the day when my struggle with the language will end. A day wherein I will get comfortable with the language. A day when I can carry the language with me wherever I go.

Nobody can claim that one's faith in God is already firm and strong. Even the apostles, who inspite of living closely in the company of Jesus Christ, still experienced a lot of doubts, envys, betrayals, greed..... How about us, present generation, who are thousands of years separated and removed away from what really happened to our Lord, Jesus Christ? Why do we still believe?

We've known many cases wherein married persons, once separated away from their own families due to work and other extraordinary situations, easily forget their own families back home. They easily get bored of their situation and so give up on their commitments. What they do is to found another family wherever they are. We've also known many cases of Catholics who easily change religion whenever they find it inconvenient. Catholics who haven't yet done something with their faith but decided to join another church just to find themselves disappointed again. And so, on to another religion.

Don't just sit there. Do something. We have to do something to make our lives work. Make good relationships work. Make marriages and family lives work. Make our faith work. Make God work on our lives. Just like Peter, who finding himself sinking on the water when he felt the strong winds, we have to cry out, " LORD, SAVE ME! "

Broken and Given

By Father Allan S. Fenix

     We are, by nature, givers. Notice that when unforeseen events occur like disasters and accidents, people present around, most of the time, will automatically render their help. In times of need, a voluntary compassionate nerve is activated in the hearts of people to give whatever they can.

     If there are givers, there are also takers. Takers, eventually, go bankrupt. Because of sin a taker merely takes advantage. And so, the cycle of giving stops. During calamities of any kind, takers, instead of rendering assistance, have only one thing in minda: to loot and rob others of what they have. A taker does not contribute anything towards the building up of the Body of Christ -- the Kingdom of God. For he brings nothing but death. Death to good relationships. Death to progress. Takers are the so-called merchants of death.

     Givers spread themselves out so thinly but bloom and grow because they keep on multiplying themselves by their constant reaching out to others. They are remembered by being imprinted in the remembrance of people whom they have impacted. They are very creative ones who see value in ordinary, simple things around them. And eco-friendly: Recycles, if necessary and called-for. Nothing is wasted. They don't run out of any ideas on how to give more. Because the cycle of giving just keeps on turning and moving.

     Jesus Christ, contained himself in a small host. He broke himself to very small pieces. He used his body to give life to many who, in turn, unselfishly give of themselves to him through the sacraments. Giving of ourselves to the sacraments, we will, for sure, bear the brunt of pain. For we will be broken. We will see how unworthy we are due to our sins. But, we will, in the end, receive life through Jesus Christ. With him in our hearts, we will go on and lead lives as givers of life to others. Givers are the merchants of life.

The Interview

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Since interviews are some of the things prospective job applicants dread, I've read that one should come for the interview prepared and feeling confident by knowing what kind of job one is particularly applying for. And, also, one has to know the background and history of the business. In the interview, the applicant should convince the employer that he has something good to contribute towards the progress of the business and so, eventually, employ him.

On one of these days, all of us will have our own interview with God. He has only one question; " Who do you say that I am? " What could be our response? The answer is not found in books. The answer will be found in the context of our faith in God.

We've all heard the old adage that " there is no bad student only if one gives time for ones studies. " We , who are God-enthusiastic. We, who are too interested in everything that is God. Our daily prayers, celebration of the Eucharist, rosary devotions, meditations, spiritual readings.... are only some of the ways by which we can come to know more about God. These are some of the ways by which one practices ones faith.

These activities are our study periods by which, day by day, we form our relationships with God. And thus, a firm bond is establish between us, his creatures, and God, our creator. If one even skips meals and feels famished. And so, with prayers. If one skips it, one will feel the instant sense of separation and isolation. So, see to it that we do not neglect to be faithful to our daily study periods with the Lord. Because when the time comes for the interveiw, what will be our response to his question? How will we convince our employer to hire us?

De Fide

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In the name of efficiency, newer technologies tend to consolidate everything into smaller and smaller-size gadgets. A mobile phone, nowadays, has a built-in flashlight, video camera, voice recorder, radio, GPS system, internet connection and what have you.

Movies are nothing but make-believe. In factual reality, there is no such thing as a one-man army subduing everything in its path. Remember Rambo? Every war or just about any activity or endeavor was made possible by the concerted efforts from the lowest element in the rank and file workers to the top-most decision-making executives. Although, in the end, it is always the head which earns the juicy accolades.

We have been much criticized by other faiths in this. In the church, we have the tradition of the veneration of the saints. We, also, believe in the great role that our Most Blessed Virgin Mary has played in our salvation history. This is to help us - that all of us need their help. The Church believes in the human limitation. We cannot do it all alone. We cannot gain salvation through our own devices. At a certain point in time, we will feel totally exhausted and collapse along the way. The saints, our choirs of guardian angels, the Blessed Virgin Mary were given to us by the Church, not for anything else but as an example, a life pattern, for all of us. Although, sometimes, we must accept that we are overdoing our veneration and respect for them.

Against the trend that had been going on in our culture, that of naming children after famous Hollywood movie stars, the Church encourages parents to name their children after saints, guardian angels, the Blessed Virgin Mary so as to help us to be reminded of that particular person. It is a form of Catechetical method being used by the Church.

The Holy Trinity; the three persons in one Divine God; the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit; is the Head of our Church. The Church was made possible through them and in us. Without the Holy Trinity, we are nothing. But without us, they still can be. The Doctrine of the Most Holy Trinity is a mystery. Period. Sometimes, in any discussion such as this, to avoid being caught up with a lot of confusing discussion it would seem convenient to just say that it is something covered with a thick shroud of MYSTERY. As the Dogma of the Catholic Church says; DE FIDE- believe or be excommunicated. Very harsh, isn't it?

There is much more than that we don't know that we, actually, do. Thats why a true educated person is one who knows that he doesn't know. This fact moves one to be nothing but humble. Accept, that, as humans, we need lots of help. The Holy Trinity is with us for this very purpose alone. May we always ask for their intercession. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

HEAVEN, Anyone?

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The only world we've known to live on since birth is getting less and less affordable and livable by the day. Nowadays, they are coming up with ever taller and taller buildings. Skyscrapers, as they called them. They do it not for any architectural innovations, to escape the pull of gravity, nor wanting to clinch the coveted title for the highest building in the world. They do it to gradually escape the ever-climbing steep land prices. If one wants to buy a unit, the higher one goes, the more negotiable the price is. Who wants to live up there? Not many years back, they even started reclaiming land from the seas and came up with chic human-made islands and airports. How about space tourism and, eventually, space habitation? It might sound very science fiction, but who knows?

LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION. The success of any business endeavor always depends on it. If one wants to sell a piece of real estate, be prepared to answer the following: Titled? Land tax moribund ? Proximity to the business center, schools, churches? Accessibility to public transportation and utilities?

Forced eviction, demolition, bank-owned due to foreclosure, broken home... These are some of the things we wish to avoid being mentioning for they only spell problems. These are some of the painful ways to lose the roof over one's head.

What have we done to the world that God created for us? We have divided, parceled it out and put a price on it. Alienating and forcing many out in the streets, those who are unable to come up with and pay the amount. Down through history, how many of the so-called self-proclaimed Messiahs put forth their own utopian world experiments hoping to solve the problem? But, it all went to naught. All because they all lacked one very important factor- a faith in God who created it all.

Everyday, we all know how it is to work hard to maintain the space we live in. But God is not being escapist in putting up a for-wanted sign. He is looking for an occupant with an offer of an installment, mortgage, deposit, advance, and, of course, rent-free existence with him in heaven. Not to worry. All he wants is faith in him. Its not hard, just believe. Give your yes and amen and he will take care of the rest. Can we scrape and come up with enough faith for him?

Jesus and Water

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At three o'clock in the morning, I am sure most of us, if not all, are still in our deep sleep dreaming. One day, I watched a T.V. program about a place located just along a bustling metropolis where residents, if they wanted to secure water for their drink, bath and other daily necessities, had to wake up that early and, with their pails and other forms of containers in different sizes, queue up in front of a single trickling faucet in the town center. Some are even very enterprising, so as to sell the water by the gallons to people who cannot get up that early before they themselves go off to school. If a regular clean supply of water is not an issue for some, for millions of people all over the world and, even for some just living nearby our place, it is a daily struggle. Some even have to walk for miles on end under the heat of the sun just to fetch potable water for their own families. In the marketplace, some even bottle and sell it. With a brand name, a flavor, a promise of some nutrients on the side and an exotic-sounding place where it had been sourced out, the bottled water is made more expensive.

Personally, I have to drink lots amount of water daily just to maintain a good and sound health. I am banking on the belief that with enough rest, balance diet, a healthy lifestyle and lots of this mineral, I can live a very productive and meaningful life up to the end of the days that God wants for me.

Jesus Christ, like water for some, might not be a big issue in their daily survival. He is just someone very accessible for them. But, sometimes, the irony is, he is also taken for granted. Like water, if there is sufficient supply, it is thrown out and wasted. There are those who have to take all the pains and some even go as far as to put their own lives at risk just to reach out to Jesus Christ. We know, for a fact, that we have brothers and sisters who, up until now, in this modern age, are still persecuted due to their belief in Jesus Christ.

Just as there are a lot of very enterprising people out there in the marketplace, so are there people who financially exploit people's belief in God. They deliberately water him down. They package and present him according to their own convenience. In the United States, to start a religion, a sect or a church, all one needs to have is four members. It is tax-free and can, then, legitmately source out funds from willing and convinced benefactors.

<> For me, all I fully believe is this: with a worthy daily dose of Jesus Christ in my life through the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, I am sure to live out, in holiness, the rest of my days in the service of God and neighbor. For sure, there would be a lot of temptations, weaknesses and falls along the way. But, with the all mercy of God in the sacrament of Reconciliation, in the absolution of the priest, I am sure to push through until I am reunited with him in his heavenly kingdom. Jesus Christ and water, both of them are LIFE.

Sacerdos

By Father Allan S. Fenix

They are usually in the headlines news only when they are killed or have made very foolish moves. Sometimes, their lives are the subject of rumors and intrigues. They wake up very early in the morning to do the obligatory Divine Office of the Day (a four-volume breviary which is the official prayer of the Church) and celebrate the morning masses for people who wake up as early as they do. They work midnoons, when workers are having their breaks, or early in the evening when people are about to call it a day. They are occupied on weekends when people are relaxing together with their families and are in a waiting mode during weekdays when people are busy with their day jobs and shifts.

Nobody is worthy of it; for, we are all sinners. We always ask them if they are happy with their choice of life. We even wonder why they become one instead of, according to our own opinion, other worthier occupations. Who wants to remain a bachelor for life? But, someone must make the sacrifice. Someone must be there to take the bullet. Someone must go up in front to celebrate the sacraments for us -- to baptize the children presented to the church, to absolve us of our sins, to consecrate the eucharist, solemnize marriages, anoint the sick and the dying. They are our priests.

During the ordination rites, the Bishop loudly proclaim before the ordinandi; "Received the herald for which you are now. Believe in the Gospel. Preach what you believe. Practice what you preach." While secular jobs, with their various demands and pressures, take one always away from home, family and oneself, the priesthood is a journey of discovery back to oneself. It is a lifestyle of daily confronting and conquering oneself in order to model ourselves after our founder, Jesus Christ. I, a priest myself, have discovered that the primary foe is the self; the self who is so sinful. It is the sin of omission for the many things that we should have done to the people. The holiness of a priest consists in being there with the people, who were entrusted to them, in all the various aspects of their lives. What is a priest alienated from his own community? What is a shepherd far away from his sheep?

The priesthood is a lifestyle that demands constant prayer, listening, waiting and study as to what God wants to convey to his people. A priest, in praying daily his Divine Office, prays for the whole Church -- for all of us. He is our daily hero out there. Must we not also pray for them?

Baptismorum

By Father Allan S. Fenix

The parish church is the central part of every community. For us, it is sacred. For it is our second home. Parish churches everywhere are rich repositories of history special to the local communities where they are situated.

At the parish office, the Canonical Books like Baptism, Confirmation, Matrimony, Defunctorum ( dead ) contain records of individuals who have received particular sacraments. It is strictly confidential. It is ordinarily strategically located where only duly designated persons, most usually the parish secretary or the parish priest himself are authorized to access it. There are many cases wherein different embassies, most specifically in the United States of America, verify the authenticity of a person's identity applying for permanent residency in their country by demanding that a photo be taken of the page itself where the data is placed. Special permission from the Office of the Ordinary is sought. These books are held to be so important that they are the ones regularly inspected during pastoral visits: To see that it is all in order. After some time, these books are brought to the Chancery where they are stored in a dehumidifier-equipped room to preserve the fragility of its pages due to human contact and time.

Among these books, the Book of Baptism is the most interesting, for it tells a lot of stories. It is the policy of most, if not every, diocese that only the parents or the persons, themselves, can request a copy of their own baptismal certificate. Siblings, relatives and others are strictly required to have a handwritten authorization letter signed by the person concerned who cannot be available physically to get a copy of it. There were occasions in the past wherein loose baptismal certificates became a subject of fraud and forgeries, either to acquire a certain document, a passport or apply for a loan. These were some of the early cases of identity theft. This book is also used as a basis for late registration of children at the Office of the Civil Registrar. In our country, until now, there are still a lot of people who were baptized but not yet registered either due to forgetfulness, negligence or plain laziness.

The Book of Baptism tells a story, in a way, in that the marriage status of the parents are revealed. It used to be that three symbols were used: civ.- civilly-married, natural- no existing marriage and leg.- sacramentally-married. Lately, it is just reduced into two; leg.- legitimate or ill.- illegitimate.

In the column for the parents' name, there are cases wherein it is left blank. Sometimes, a three capital-letter is printed: NCP- Pariente Noce Conocido- Parent Unknown. It could be that the child is not recognized by the parent concerned or a party involved does not want to accept who the real parent is. It could be that the child was born out of wedlock. If the child is a first born child, in the date of the birth, upon comparison with the parents' date of marriage, one can determine if the mother was already pregnant during the time of marriage or not.

It is a great honor to be the minister written on the column for the minister. One will be the John the Baptist to the children whom no one knows what history will make out of them. There was a priest who was appointed a parish priest in the same parish where he was baptized. The first thing he did is to get a copy of his own baptismal record, signed by himself as the parish priest. This sor of thing seldomly happens. I also experienced being called upon by a parent of a child whom I baptized several months after. At first, I felt scared, because I might have committed a fault during the rite. But, it turned out that the parent was an overseas worker. She was absent during the baptism of her child and wanted to reenact it, for the sake of the happiness of her child who will grow up knowing that her parents were present during her baptism, by taking a picture with the minister of baptism. She was able to trace me from the data found on the baptismal certificate given to them.

In the last column of the two-page spread sheet of the Book of Baptism, is the Observanda wherein it is recorded what eventually happened to the child. If the child was sacramentally married, the place and date of the matrimony is noted. Or, if, the person has incurred any excommunication or censure.

It is good to be a baptized Catholic. To be a member of this universal church possessing a very rich tradition and sacred history. Be happy, if you are one now.

Emmanuel

By Father Allan S. Fenix

I was, once, looking and admiring a very colorful picture of underwater scenery, with its variety of marine life like the exotic fishes going about and coral reefs, and I was wondering where it could be located in the wide world. I wildly guessed that it might be somewhere in a first world country where they have preserved these things for tourism purposes. But, to my surprise, when I read the caption below the picture, it was taken in one of the far out places in our country seldomly reached by the local residents due to its depth and distance. All along, I never knew that our country possessed one of the richest and most beautiful aquatic resources in the world. People from all over the world know it and are telling us about it. They come in hordes, spending their hard-earned money just to appreciate the last of it before it gets totally destroyed by the different environmental issues occurring all around us.

Sometimes, we are all so taken up by our own personal issues that we fail to see the riches within and those right in front of us. Let us love and change ourselves first before attempting to do so to others. Discover the true riches within you and in your own family and community. Our parents used to remind us, their children, that we cannot befriend others well when we cannot even befriend and help our own siblings. How can we form and have our own families when we haven't related well to our own family? These statements from our parents somehow strengthened the bond between us. We learned to call on and ask for help from each other. We learned to resolve unbecoming issues among ourselves rather than just neglecting them and hoping that they would just go away. By and by, we learned to appreciate the beauty within each of us. It has become our strength now that each of us have our own vocations in life.

God is in us. He is often reborn within us every time we see his workings in our lives amidst the hard and difficult issues confronting us. Sometimes, I don't want to be going through the news. I just want to read the pleasant stories. Because the news is sometimes a chronicle of the people who failed to see the love of God in their lives and in others. We are, sometimes, blinded.

We have known many people going to a lot of places and destinations just to find themselves and the true meaning of their lives. No need. We don't need to do that. We need not go far and wide. God is not in a place. He is everywhere. Lets go back down to the basics -- God is in the sacraments. Very creative people might have embellished it with a lot of other stuff. But, it is still the sacrament -- the real presence of God within us.

There is no need to out source this matter. No need to let others tell us that by far, this life we have, the vocation we have chosen, our family, our community, our Church, the faith we received when we were baptized, are the best things in the world that we ever have had.

Family Tree

By Father Allan S. Fenix

When we had our first holy communion in gradeschool, each of us received a brown paper bag which we excitedly opened. Inside was a piece of red, fragrant-smelling apple.

Apples, oranges, grapes..... these fruits remind me of so many things from the past. Back then, these were a rarity on our dinner table. We would see them only during the Christmas season or when someone came home from the city. I remember that we used to divide an apple into four parts, for, we were many in the family. Each piece was carefully intended for a particular member of the family. We cherished the taste as we chewed our share before finally swallowing it. The memory of that piece of fruit, its taste and smell, lasted throughout the whole day. How we, each child in the family, wished to have a whole piece of it all to himself.

Nowadays, these fruits are very common. With the help of modern fertilizers and technology, they are now very affordable and readily available in the market, sometimes all throughout the year and seasons. They are now always on our dinner table, and there is a whole piece for each one of us. There is no one to share it with -- no one to bite it little by little with as we share stories. Stories about what happened in school, at the playground, the movies we watched, as it slowly melts inside our mouths. Some family members have moved on to faraway places to follow their own callings and some have completely gone.

In our family, our Church, the sacraments are some of the things very close and dear to our hearts. Our hearts have a mental compass where we can properly find it. All of us, in one way or the other, longs to go back. For we know someone over there is familiar and we are loved. Each one of us have our own stories and experiences to share. Some are a bit interesting and, perhaps, even memorable. And there are those which are embarrasing. And so, we want to keep it to ourselves and, if possible, forget it.

Lets not give up on our family, our Church, the sacraments, however it might be. For it is US. Lets stick it out with them to the end. For another brighter day awaits anyone who doesn't give up but keeps on loving.

Touch Down

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Have you gone to a circus before? In our place and, in my observation, in almost every town and city where there is a big feast, there is often a travelling circus. They show the most unusual display of performances that are beyond what any ordinary human persons can do. Back in my homeland, it is a big, long awaited spectacle. Its arrival and set up on a vacant lot is the signal of an upcoming important feast. Once, when I was a child, I was not only fascinated watching but took pity towards a person purportedly a byproduct of a combination of animal and human genes. Though the individual certainly looked like it, I felt that the person was being exploited and taken financially advantage of due to his unusual looks. A certain group of people were making a big amount of money from it. From then on, I stopped and never went to any circuses anymore. I still ask myself: "Is this all there is to it?"

The celebration of Christmas is like a travelling circus, with its colorful variety shows, just passing by. Here today, but completely gone tomorrow. It is all about the encounter of the infinite and the finite. It is about the encounter between humanity and Jesus Christ, who crossed the barriers of the natural process to become a human person. Like us, except without sin. Christmas was when Jesus Christ became a sacrament to be ever present among us through the Church.

The sacraments need us. They are nothing without you. In the seminary, we were taught that every celebration of the sacraments is always a communal act. It is never an individual isolated event. It is never a one-sided show of us, being just spectators by the sideline, and Jesus Christ, as the actor at the center stage.

At Christmas time the atmosphere is so exciting that we see lots of people hurrying back home to be with their family and loved ones. For us Catholics, it is all about going back to the sacraments. The infant Jesus in the manger is the Eucharist awaiting all of us who want to receive him. Christmas is about making real the presence of Jesus Christ in our lives. This is really all that there is to it.

Stories

By Father Allan S. Fenix

In a highly competitive world, there is a principle that one is as good only as one's latest performance. And so, there is that need among players to do more and more. To up and keep on increasing the ante. There is no end to keeping up until we reach a certain point, beyond which, we could not make it anymore. And so, there is nothing else more to do but give up, resign or retire.

We love to listen, read and know about the lives of people who have "made it:" How they started from scratch and nothing, met their challenges and failures and, eventually, acquired power and wealth. Perhaps they came up with an idea and made it into a great invention and industry. Then we take even more interest in how they faired in life after all the honors and accolades they received.

In the seminary, we love to listen to our fellow seminarians and priests talking about the story of their vocations. How we heard God's call in our lives to enter the seminary to become one of his priests. There are those which are plain simple. And, there are also some which are very extraordinary, full of drama. We get bits and tidbits of inspiration from each one.

The first book that I received, one school christmas exchange gift, was a book about the lives of the saints. I first wondered why, of all the kinds of books, this was the particular book chosen for me. Maybe, it was because I was very naughty in class at that time.

The book was a good read. It always deserves a repeat reading. I learned how people, like us, in their simplicity of life and their staunch faith in God were able to beat the odds. They were able to accomplish great and noble deeds for others. Let's take our que from the saints; lets learn from them. They are models given to us by the Church to be imitated for their positive examples.

We all want to make it big. We all want to be successful in all our endeavors. Yet, separated from our titles, positions, careers and possessions, who are we? On our own, we can only do as much.We are nothing without the help of God in our lives. As Christians, our full identity rests on him who made us. Let us always go, ask and pray to him that he might make us as holy as he is. Because as Christians, our one common goal, is to be as holy as our heavenly Father. I think, for me, that would suffice and be enough.

Home to the Father

By Father Allan S. Fenix

At the end of each day, we always look forward to going back home to a place that we are familiar with. Perhaps, some go to their own families, loved ones, community, or dormitories. For a priest, like me, it's to my room to recharge and await the beginning of another day which is to be faced energetically and with much gusto.

At the end of each day in our lives, as Christians with our eyes fully focused on salvation, we should always go back and look at ourselves. With a mixture of discouraging and encouraging results, we must hold on firmly and strongly to our faith. Because we do believe we know that amidst the torrent of turmoil and change all around us, our faith is the only thing that we really can hold on to. It is the vehicle that will bring us to our Promised Land. It is always our unfinished project. Faith, being beautiful, moves us to do something. Its completion is our eventual happy reunion with its origin and giver -- God.

Then, at the beginning of another day, we are again called on to make a stand with our faith at full mast. No matter what we do, we believe that a person of faith always wins out in the end. The death of a person who has faith is a happy and most peaceful surrender.

Oremus (Let Us Pray)

By Father Allan S. Fenix

Leaving the seminary, one thing that my spiritual director told me is: NEVER FORGET TO PRAY!

Before the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, I used to not see nor hear the following reminder: PLEASE SWITCH OFF YOUR CELL PHONES. Prayer is an excursion wherein, for a moment, we are lifted out of our human conditions and put into contact with the divine and infinity. It is the vital link between God, the creature, and we, his creatures. Praying adds value to human life. Because it is in it wherein we cease to see how the world see life, in terms of numbers and net profits, but, in terms of heaven; love and forgiveness.

Because life and prayer is so valuable that it surpasses any human valuation. It is FREE. It is just there. But the irony is, since it is free, it is most usually neglected and ignored. Humans love to take all the risks and challenges. The world today is full of exotic activities, hobbies and what have yous with its equally devoted fanatics. But, prayer is not one of them. Who amongst us include praying as one of our hobbies?

It is in praying where the beauty of the human person emerge. In praying, we express our humility, helplessness and our longing to be eventually reunited with our creator. It is said that the fear of hell is not in the punishment but in never knowing who one's true creator is.

The world doesn't need more arms, legislation, or more artificial contraceptives to help solve our ever increasing problems. What we need are sincere prayers.

Education for Life

By Father Allan S. Fenix

      I remember being very well edified, while attending a golden marriage anniversary, one of the party expressed; " I love my spouse just as when we first met each other. " It made me wonder if I could also say that way when I reach the same number of years in my priesthood.

     The Holy Bible. The Roman Missal. The Christian Prayer.... These are only a few of the basic books that our seminary formators required us to have. They regularly made unannounced inspections. According to them, these books should always be in every priest's personal library. A companion. So that, from time to time, one can immediately pick through it to remind us.

     In life, we try to devise and apply different kinds of method and processes to solve our daily exigencies. I remember well how our late Canon Law professor taught us the course. He did not push us to literally go through, one by one, memorizing the whole provisions. But, he merely showed us the various approaches and steps on how to interpret and apply it with one thing clear at the back of our minds: " The salvation souls. "

     For most people, school life almost takes a quarter of their life. Some, even for the rest of their life. It is because education is not meant to burden us, as some students take it. It is to exercise us through the many courses by which we can lead our lives in the vast maze that will further on confront us. Education is, actually, a friend; to help us.

     We've often overhear people say; " I've tried it. I've done that. " Education teaches us how to continually correspond with life. School does not gives one everything. In fact, according to one of our teachers, it merely gives us seven percent of the whole picture. The rest depends on how we take the challenge of continually educating ourselves. Withdrawing from life and, even worse, giving up is not an option. It is self-impoverishment. Life is an endless textbook of realizations. The vast universe is not the last frontier as Science upholds it. It is life.

Thanks Be to God!

By Father Allan S. Fenix

When I was in elementary school, I remember telling one of my teachers that I wanted to become a priest. My
teacher responded; "Very good! Thats a very noble vocation. Thank God for it!"

We always want something novel and different in our lives. Perhaps a raise, a promotion, or a bit of recognition
for what we are doing or have done. Thats why, everyday, we are always on the move, on the go, maximizing the full
enjoyment of our days. We just love the adrenaline rush that these things bring us. We feel alive. There is a sense of
purpose. We look forward to a day when all our hoped-for dreams and plans will really come to full blossom.

God moves. He moves us. As the creator -- the unmoved mover, as St. Thomas Aquinas succinctly coined
it -- he is the constant initiator. All things bear his signature. It is for this reason, therefore, that everything is good.
By the mere fact of its existence, something is good because God purposefully made it to be so. We, his creatures,
are merely the respondents to his beauty and love. No one amongst us is pressured to do so. But, we are left with no
other choice but to say our; "YES, LORD!" We have nowhere to run to. We are surrounded. We are cornered by his
love. We drown in it.

How about evil? Where does it comes from? Evil is "deprivation," as philosophy has defined it. It does exist when we
fail to acknowledge the genuine source of the good before us. When we take all the merit for ourselves and leave the true
author behind. It is when there is a gap -- a lacuna -- that exists between the creator and the creature. Evil is the
plagiarism of God's goodness. A system's failure.

"Thanks be to God! " We say it at the recessional part of the mass. Our daily lives are a thankful gratitude to God, for
He is the life. Our daily life is